Page 28 of Bad Ball Hitter
I purse my lips and stare at the half-empty bottle. “Have you ever had that one person you knew you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with?”
“That’s a big hell no.”
I chuckle. “Never mind.”
“Nah, just because I haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have a sister. She’s head over heels with her husband and two kids deep.”
“I had that with a girl—the head-over-heels part. We broke up before college.”
“And now you’ve been missing her since being with Miranda?”
“No, yeah. I mean…” I rub my hands on my jeans because fuck, I don’t enjoy talking about feelings and shit. “My sister-in-law—my teammate’s sister,” I clarify, “got married over the winter. She’s the only one I ever cared about since breaking up with Lila. And the entire thing got me thinking about the past.” About Lila.
“Your true love?” He says in a sing-song voice that makes me cringe.
“Could you be any more obnoxious?”
“Sorry, just trying to keep up.” He tips his head. “Why don’t you try finding her?”
“I had tried, but she made it virtually impossible. Once she moved out of our hometown, she never returned. Dropped all of her socials. I tried to reach out to her once but was told she was dating my high school nemesis.”
“That’s rough.”
“Yeah. Fast forward to the night at the bar when I took Miranda to the bar with you guys.” He nods. I continue. “We ended up at her apartment.” I take a drink to delay. I’m afraid to voice it aloud. It’ll make it more real once I do. “I stumbled out of Miranda’s bedroom and ran into her roommate.”
His eyes grow wider as the realization hits. “No…”
“Yeah,” I drag out the word. “You can imagine my surprise when I saw Lila standing in the kitchen.”
“Fuck, bruh. What are you going to do?”
“I spent my entire adult life fucking around and breaking hearts. Though there was only one girl I strung along.”
“Your sister-in-law?” he guesses.
“My sister-in-law.”
Rappel laughs. “You really know how to step in it.”
I raise my bottle in mock cheer. “That I do.” I take the last sip and grimace. “I just don’t know what to do.”
He studies me for a moment. “Do you still have feelings for Lila?”
I take a deep breath to give that answer an honest thought. “I can’t separate what I had felt for her with what I feel today. It’s jumbled.”
“What about Miranda?”
“I vowed to give it an honest go, and I wanted to make it work with her. She’s a little insecure but has every reason to be.” Especially since I spent this trip staring at a photo of Lila and Jake instead of the promiscuous one Miranda sent before leaving on the trip. Doesn’t that make me an asshole? Again?
If not, then hold my beer because I have something even better. Since that night, I haven’t been intimate with Miranda. And what have I been doing instead? I’ve been busy jacking off to the memories of a ghost from my girlfriend’s past. Every time I close my eyes, I can see her perfectly: her hair splayed across the sheets, the rosy hue on her cheeks. So fucking flawless it makes my heart ache.
“But…” Rappel prods, pulling me back to the conversation.
“But seeing Lila again, and then after spending the afternoon in the park with Lila and her son, I just?—”
“Whoa, hold up. She has a son?”
“Yeah, but it’s weird. Jake calls her Mama Lila. I find that odd.”