Page 32 of Entangled With You
Emotion tries to ruin my makeup because every word Matías has directed at me is tainted with so much pain, it’s impossible not to feel it.
“How was I supposed to know that you felt guilty all this time? We haven’t spoken in so long.” I pause for effect, letting my words sink in. “Can you honestly tell me that if I had told you it was me, you would have kept chatting with me?” This time, it’s him who can’t look me in the eyes. “Look, Matías. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you it was me, but this past month chatting with you has been a dream. You're every bit the man I remember from all those years ago but better.”
A humorless chuckle escapes him, “A dream? Yeah, I would agree with that. It’s been a dream for me, too. Getting to know Milena. Thinking that I was finally moving on from my guilt, only to find out it’s been you all along.” The moment my brain registers his words, I feel like a knife cut through my chest. He wants to move on from the girl who caused him so much pain; he never wanted anything with me.
“Okay, that’s fair. I get it,” I say, even though I don’t understand anything. Why didn’t he want anything with me? Maybe it was only me who felt so much back then? “I would like to at least understand why you stopped talking to me after that night.”
Matías closes his eyes while tears run down his face. Fuck, this is so hard. “What kind of monster takes you away from your family when they needed you most?” he says, his voice breaking. I’m thankful the waiter chose this moment to bring the water as we both take huge gulps from our glasses.
“What do you mean you took me away from my family?” I ask because I honestly have no clue what he’s talking about.
“That night, when you and I were together, Sofi got kidnapped, and you weren’t there for your family because of my greedy ass.”
My shoulders sag in disbelief. “And that’s why you gave me the cold shoulder? Why you could barely look at me, let alone talk to me at Sofi’s wedding? How could I have blamed you for something that was beyond our control? Even if things had ended tragically, which fortunately they didn’t, I would have never, ever blamed you. I was a willing participant as much as you were.”
His glassy eyes heat up with something that can only be lust. He remembers that night as vividly as I do.
“See what a fuck up I am? I was an idiot and screwed up my chance with you. Why would a mina like you want to be with an idiot who has so many mental issues like me?”
I don’t think twice, I lay my heart at his feet. “Because you are an amazing man who sees life in a different light. You find the little things in everything that make life worth it. you see me for who I am, and not for the money my family has or for how well I kick a ball.” He chuckles,a true chuckle, and I breathe a little easier. “The truth is, Matías, I’ve had a crush on you all this time, and when destiny decided to give me a chance to show you we can be good together, I took it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I’m so glad we’re finally having this conversation.”
A gorgeous lopsided smile forms on his face, and my heart skips a beat. This man can do anything he wants with me. Suddenly, he gets up from his chair and picks up the flowers from the floor. I had completely forgotten about them. He places his knuckles on the table and lowers himself until we’re at eye level.
“My brain is mush and there are so many things I need to process.” He shakes his head, something like disbelief clouding his gaze. “I want everything with you, but I need to come to terms with the fact that Cattleya and Milena are the same person. Right now, I feel guilt for thinking I was stringing someone along when in reality it has always been you. I know I’m not making any sense, and that’s why I need time. Because if we’re going to give this a try, I need to be able to make sense of and move past the guilt and the miscommunication.” He moves his face toward me, ever so slowly until our lips are so close I can feel his breathing caressing my skin. When his hand wraps around the back of my neck, I exhale a little moan, and Matías devours me. His kiss is bruising and strong, pure passion and heat. But fuck, if I haven’t craved the way he owns me. The kiss ends way too quickly for my liking but I get it, the ball is on his turf now. Without a word, Matías drops a few bills on the table and leaves. But not without giving me one last look that makes my knees go weak.
I’m left alone again, all hot and bothered wanting more. I sure hope this time things end up differently.
Chapter 15
Matías Moreno
What are the motherfucking odds of me finding Cattleya on a dating app? Fate must love playing jokes on me because falling for the same girl twice wasn’t on my bingo card. Speeding through the wet streets is dangerous, but right now my brain needs to escape. The city noises, the lights, the smoke, it’s all too much to process when all I need is to quiet my thoughts. After a while, I realize I didn’t drive back to my apartment. Instead, I’m on the highway on my way to San Miguel, my hometown.
I arrive just as my parents are cleaning the table, the smell of beef stroganoff still permeating the kitchen. My mouth waters at the idea of food, but I’m soaked and cold from the rain that kept pelting me. I guess a bike is not the smartest means of transportation for long drives in the rain.
“Hijo, what a beautiful surprise. Is everything okay?” my mom says as she comes to hug me. It doesn’t matter that I’m ruining her carpet; she still takes her time to hug me and squeeze my cheeks as she looks me in the eye. “Thank you for coming home, son.”
My mom knows me to my core, and part of having this anxiety clouding my mind for my entire life means she has always been afraid of what I could do to myself if my mind became too overwhelming for me to handle.
“Hijo, are you hungry? Why don’t you shower and change while we warm up some food for you?” my dad says with a kind smile and a pat on my shoulder—the same gesture that used to send me upstairs as a child.
I turn on the shower, and after a few minutes, I start making doodles on the fogged mirror. I feel like a teenager with a crush all over again. It's funny to see the shampoo I used all those years ago is still here. I think my mom keeps buying it just in case I come to visit. I shower quickly, wanting to eat and talk to Mom before heading for bed.
“Is everything okay?” Mom asks as she picks up my plate from the table, but I motion for her to sit down while I clean up.
“No, ma. Today was a heavy emotional day.” I start washing the dishes with warm, sudsy water, and somehow a sense of calmness washes over me.
“Do you want to talk about it? The water is ready for a mate.”
I smile at her, always giving me the space I need to form my thoughts and express myself. After preparing the mates, Mom and I sit down in the living room. The familiarity of the scene calms me further. Mom is sitting on her recliner, the table lamps giving a soft glow to the furniture that we’ve had since I can remember. Dad is sitting on the loveseat, snoring in front of the TV. The moment Mom or I try to turn it off, he immediately jumps up, claiming he was just resting his eyes. I take a sip of my mate before I open my heart to my mom, something I don’t think I’ve ever done—not because I don’t trust her, but because I never had a relationship to talk about.
“Do you remember Marco and Dani’s wedding?” I start, and my mom nods. “That week, I met Cattleya. She’s Sofi’s sister.”
My mom opens her eyes wide. “Oh, Franco’s wife.”
I chuckle at her good memory. “That’s right, Franco’s little sister-in-law.”
A frown appears between her eyebrows. “Little? How much younger?”