Page 100 of The Fall

“It made me feel like I wasn’t so alone,” she said honestly. “I think there’s something to be said about the human side of doctoring. I know if I had a choice between someone like Nichols and you, I would choose you every time.”

“I don’t think the board would agree,” I said, trying my best not to let the rip growing inside me reach the outside. “Besides, you are slightly biased.”

“So what, make your own rules, open your own hospital. The world needs more doctors like you, Dallas.”

Dread raced through me when I thought about the weeks ahead and the pain she would have to endure. I would do everything in my power to make her comfortable.

“Beatrice, is there anyone I can call?” I asked, terrified. She hadn’t had one visitor since she had been admitted.

“When I lost Roy, I kind of forgot about the world around me. This hospital became my whole life. I don’t regret it. I loved being a nurse, every single minute of it. I never married again by choice. I had a couple of chances. I lived my way. I did the things I wanted. I’m fine with it all, Dallas.”

After an hour or so of going over some details—mostly the argument that I was now the reluctant owner of one Morris Chesnutt, her cat—I stood to leave her alone with her thoughts and walked to the door. I looked back at her, and the wave of pain took me under as I flew into her waiting arms, wailing my cries and soaking her robe.

“Now, calm down. This isn’t what I meant by showing more of your emotions. Please girl, don’t throw yourself over my casket and make a damn fool out of yourself.” I laughed hysterically as I pulled away from her, sniffling.

“Are you scared?” I asked, guarded.

“No, fear isn’t nothin’ but a huge rock that will hold you down if you give it the power to. Nothing good has ever come out of being afraid. No, I’m not going out that way. I believe in the good Lord. I know where I’m going. I’m okay with it, Dallas.”

“I never will be. And I’m going to give my next nurse hell,” I said spitefully. She gave me a knowing smile. “You’re more than that to me, you know.”

“I’m pretty sure I do,” she said, sinking down in her bed, making herself more comfortable. “Now do me a favor and go get handled by that gorgeous boyfriend of yours. Lord knows he wouldn’t give me my one wish.”

“Hands off you old bag!” I teased playfully.

“I’m not making any promises, especially now that I may get away with more.” I walked out the door and poked my head back in as she closed her eyes.

“I love you, Beatrice.” The slow warm smile that spread over her face let me know she heard me.

Dallas

Now

I roamed the halls of the hospital with a heavy heart, thinking about the inevitable exit of my dear friend and how much it would hurt when I finally lost her. I decided to stop in to check on Ollie and found him pacing in his room.

“What are you doing?” I asked with my arms folded over my chest. He looked up at me, fear evident in his features.

“Waiting on a text,” he said, holding up his phone.

“You can do that in bed! You know your counts are off!” He’d just received a round of targeted therapy and was at high risk for complications. I saw a tray full of untouched lunch and shook my head. “You didn’t eat anything. You know you could get sick any minute and need this calorie intake. What are you thinking, Ollie?”

“I’m not,” he huffed out, exasperated. “It’s been two hours!”

“Ollie, get back in bed.” I ushered him, pulling his tray in front of him when he finally relented and climbed back into the confines of the bed. “And what’s been two hours?” I prodded, bringing the fitted sheet over his legs. He quickly threw it off of him and jumped up, resuming his pacing.

“You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I’ll deal with it,” he shot back, completely distracted.

“What is it, Ollie?” I asked as I stilled him and walked him back to the bed. This time he stayed put as I draped him in the sheet and held up his untouched sandwich to him. He pushed it away as I groaned out in frustration.

“What is it, Ollie?”

“Anna, leukemia, she’s fourteen, beautiful, and probably the only girl in the world who can read my mind. I asked her out two hours ago by text, and she hasn’t answered me!”

I smiled at him as I pushed him back down in the bed. He looked up at me with evident distaste.

“Don’t look at me like that. This isn’t some stupid little boy crush.”