Page 96 of The Fall
“I’m not leaving. I’ll see her tomorrow.”
“Okay, take the guest room.” He nodded quickly and pulled me into his arms. “I’m here, for whatever you need.”
“It’s whatever she needs,” I corrected as he nodded in agreement. “I love you, Dean.” I pulled him to me and kissed him hard, pulling away only when I was forced to take a breath. He seemed to understand my urgency, kissed me deeply, and then let go to make his way to the guest room. “I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me, giving me one last soft kiss.
“Never, I won’t let you,” I said as I grabbed his hand, pulled him back to me, and wrapped my arms around him. We stood in the hall for several more minutes until my eyes fell heavy, and we parted reluctantly.
I slipped into bed with Rose, noting the pain written across her features even while she slept. I studied her beautiful face and cried silently, lying next to her, replaying the brief time I’d seen my sister happier than she had ever been. Her life had been ripped away one week before her wedding. Grant had been struck and crushed by a driver who had fallen asleep behind the wheel and was killed on impact. I couldn’t imagine the gentle giant—whom I’d spent only a few stolen precious moments with a few short weeks ago—not being anything but indestructible. And yet here I lay, staring at the beautiful woman who was supposed to become his wife in only a few short days, and she would never know another day with him.
I found the world a cruel, unforgivable place at that moment as I prayed for my sister and the gentle giant who had left his young bride behind.
The next few days, I kept busy by calling the vendors and canceling the wedding arrangements. I called the guest list, informing them of Grant’s passing and the time of his service. It was by far the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. Rose only made one decision, asking that Grant be cremated. She didn’t say a word and simply sat on the couch as we stayed within arm’s reach, taking turns to sneak off and take care of what had to be done. My mom and I took turns simply sitting by her side as she stared across the room, fixated on nothing. I found her a few times in the garden doing much of the same. She hardly spoke and refused to eat. Paul stayed home for several days trying to engage her, but she refused to entertain him or anything at all. He kept his patience with Rose but eventually broke down in private with my mom, terrified for his sister and thinking the same thing that we all were—that we had lost Rose as well.
The day of what was supposed to be their wedding, I woke up, and Rose was gone. She hadn’t left word of where she was going, and we all quickly scrambled to try and find her. I spent hours driving around aimlessly, calling her cell phone with no answer, and cursing my stupidity for letting her out of my sight. When an idea finally occurred to me, I quickly called my dad.
“Grants land, Dad. The house, where is it?”
“Of course, damn it. Why didn’t I think of that? I’m on my way,” he said quickly.
“No, Dad, I’ve got this, okay. Text me the address.”
He hesitantly agreed, and thirty minutes later, I was pulling in to a country girl’s dream. I took in the overabundance of empty acres, noting the vast amount of pasture complemented by the beautiful backdrop of the trees surrounding it. Though it was the dead of winter, I could see the appeal, and my heart sank a little further at the loss of what this land was supposed to represent—their beginning.
After driving for several minutes, I started to fear I was wrong about my hunch when I noticed a large pond in the distance. I sped up moments later when I spotted Rose’s SUV under a low-hanging tree surrounded by the framing of what was to be their dream home.
I spotted Rose, jumped out of my truck, and shivered against the cold wind as I looked at my baby sister in horror. She was standing in her wedding dress, yelling and cursing, fury written all over her posture. I saw her rear back and throw something at the framing of the house, then rushed her way.
“Rose?” I questioned as she ignored me, continuing her rant.
“You don’t love me! If you loved me, you wouldn’t have taken him from me! Grant!” The pure agony in her voice sent me right over the edge with her. Our sobs matched as I watched my baby sister scream at the heavens. “Grant!” she called desperately, her hoarse voice begging for a reply.
She was hysterical and seemed to be yelling at…God.
She had a six-pack in her hand and was draining the contents of a new bottle. When she finished, she threw it with everything she had, aiming for the tree. It shattered as she grabbed another bottle, crying, heaving, and screaming with rage.
“Four months! I only had him for four months, and you knew! You knew you were taking him away! How could you do this to me?!” Another bottle crashed against the framing, and I stood there watching her unravel. Her wedding dress perfectly fitted her tiny frame. She had even taken the time to fix her hair the way she had practiced and had several sprays of baby’s breath tucked in. She looked absolutely beautiful and completely broken. I waited patiently for her to acknowledge me, but she was waging war, and I was going to let her have it.
“Grant!” she cried, throwing another bottle with so much force that she fell to her knees as it smashed against the wood. I rushed to her, hitting my knees and throwing my arms around her.
She clutched my arms as I held her, the rawness in her voice tearing me apart. “Oh, my God! Dallas, oh, my God! Why, why, why did this happen? How am I supposed to do this? I can’t do this, Dallas! I’m over. My life is over! I can’t do this! I can’t live through this!” I nodded as I held her tightly to me.
“I’m here. I’m never leaving, you hear me? I’ll be here,” I promised.
“No, you won’t!” she said, trying to pull away, but I gripped her tighter. “He was my every day, Dallas. He was my life. You can’t be him, and he’s gone! Grant!” She crumbled against me as I held her tighter, feeling the painful waves rolling off her. “Oh God, oh God, oh no! Noooo!” she sobbed as I refused to let her out of my embrace.
Minutes later, she curled up with her head in my lap as I stroked her hair. It was freezing outside, and her skin was quickly becoming pink with each minute that passed. I threw my jacket over her as she cried. “One week and forever,” she whispered. “You said one week and forever.”
She hiccupped in my lap, allowing me to caress her hair away from her soaked cheeks.
“It’s beautiful out here,” I said quietly when she had drained the last of her tears. She readjusted herself on my lap as I ran my hand down her back, trying to think of anything I could say.
“I’ll never love anyone again, not this way.”
“I want to say it will get better, but I have no idea.”
I couldn’t offer her any more than the truth, and I refused to use rehearsed words of comfort. They were useless. My sister had suffered the loss of her life, and I wasn’t about to let her know I thought differently.
“Dallas, why are we here?”