Page 66 of His to Worship

“I have always wanted a daughter. Soon, we will spend more time together.” She squeezes my shoulders and then steps aside. “For now, I will go gather my things from our hut. I will see you both soon.”

She walks away and we all watch her for a moment before getting back to business. It’s only us humans, Enikk and Kuvier, and Kuvit, whose eyes still haven’t left Renata while he stands off to the side respectfully.

Kuvier turns to Kuvit and Enikk. “Kuvit, go with Enikk and the human females to gather their belongings from your mother’s hut. I do not trust that there will be no issues if they go alone.”

That party heads off and Kuvier and I are left alone.

“Well, my atan,” I say, emphasizing his new title with a wide smile, “it worked.”

“That it did, atana.” I cock my head at this. “Did you think that the mate of the atan had no title?”

Stepping into his arms, I set my chin against his chest with my eyes on his. “I suppose we both got a promotion today.”

“I do not know this pro-mo-sun you speak of, but I will say yes so that we may finish conversing and practice kissing.”

I throw my head back with a laugh. “We don’t need any more practice. You’re already great at it.”

He grins mischievously, leaning down until his lips are brushing against mine while he says, “I always want to be better for you.”

EPILOGUE

- amari -

I lie on my back, my eyes staring up at the black of the cave ceiling. Not for the first time since waking up here—actually since waking up on that damned ship—I ask myself how the hell I got here. What choices did I make to lay brick-by-brick the road that led me here?

Samra makes a soft grunting noise from her bed of furs next to me. I turn my head to look at her, checking to make sure she’s still asleep. Thankfully she is because I need a bit more time to myself before I have to pretend to be okay for everyone.

After the fiasco with confronting the chief, our new little clan had set off immediately. With the number of new people, especially the number of kids, it’s taking us twice as long as the first time to make it back to the valley. And, we have to stop at both hunter’s caves on the way. We’ve already hit one, hence the cave that I’m currently lying in.

With twenty-seven people, not everyone can fit in the cave. Kuvier determined that unmated women, children, and any lone elders would sleep in the cave. Everyone else is sleeping in fur tepee-like tents outside.

I hear rustling and tilt my head ever so slightly to see Xo carefully standing, her cloak wrapped around her, tiptoeing out of the cave. I don’t miss the quiet sniffle she gives before she disappears.

Xo is the one that ended up without a mate, which sucks really bad. She’s the only one of us that actively wanted one. She tries not to show it, but I can tell it bothers her. I wish she and I could switch places. She’s older than Enikk for sure, but he would make a good mate to anybody.

Just not me.

I still don’t know what to do about him, on that vein. I’m the only one vehemently fighting this whole mate thing, besides Krissy. But Krissy had a fiancé before the abduction, so that makes sense. No one really gets my reluctance. I can see the judgment in the eyes of the Lieq members whenever they notice me avoiding Enikk. Sometimes, the other women even judge me for it.

It’s been two full days of travel, and so far, everyone but me and Krissy has fallen into some form of ease with their mates. No one else is jumping into bed with them, but they are friendly enough. Unlike me, they can smile and be polite and accept the gifts without feeling like they’re going to crawl out of their skin.

After a while, I give up on my original plan to go back to sleep. As has been the case nearly every night since we all woke up here, I barely get any sleep. In fact, the last good sleep I had was in a stasis pod.

When it starts to brighten outside, I decide to just go ahead to the small communal fire outside. Maybe I can get a headstart on breakfast by chopping up some meat for Sedona to cook. She doesn’t cook for the whole group—a whole clan of people who are mostly Lieq and eat three times what we do would be way too much. But, she still cooks for all us human women and some of the loner clan members.

After our original declaration, we’d only had the extra dudes with mates and a few of their family members. But, when we all met up at the edge of the clan, we ended up with quite a few members who had no familial attachments to the clan. Sedona had explained to us that after all the natural disasters and plagues, a lot of the clan had lost their entire families. Thus, most of the loners were older people and a few orphaned youths who were attempting to live off of Junq’s mercy, which was subsistence at best.

I’m careful as I step around sleeping bodies and gather up some frozen meat. My knife, a tool I made myself, is already strapped to my waist, under my tunic, so I make my way outside. It stays on me at all times, though no one knows about it. I’d secretly carved it in the first few days we were here, when everyone else was asleep. It can hardly be called a knife, just an elongated stone chipped to a harsh point, but it brings me some comfort and a semblance of safety at least.

Outside, the air is biting, but there’s a small break in the snow. It snowed for the first full day of travel, making it incredibly difficult. I’d worried I’d never get the feeling back in my fingers. I head around Kuvier and Sedona’s tent—they’d put it right at the mouth of the cave. Even though no one seems to have any bad intentions, Kuvier has been very serious about us unmated females being safe. Something I am especially appreciative of.

There are a few of the new clan members moving around, a couple pairs of mated Lieq caring for their children. I give small smiles to those that look at me, but mostly keep my head down as I move the few yards needed to get to the fire.

When I round a tent, I stop in my tracks. Enikk is already seated on the ground, his knees up in front of him, whittling at something. I pause, considering going back to the cave until there are more people to be a barrier between us. I don’t get the chance to decide.

Without looking up from his project, he says, “If it would make you more comfortable, I will leave.”

I immediately feel overrun with guilt. He really is a seemingly nice guy. If I were different, maybe we could have worked, but I can’t erase my past, and he can’t change that he’s in love with a woman that’s too damaged to love him back.