Page 29 of Timber Ridge
He chuckles as he washes his hands and gets a pan from under the kitchen sink. “It’s beef, but you’ll have to give the other a try sometime. It’s not as bad as you imagine.”
While I generally play it safe when it comes to food, I’m tempted to live on the wild side and try it someday. “My mom used to tell me to try everything legal twice. She said you can’t have a genuine experience on one try because you often go into it with preconceived notions which skew your experience.”
“It sounds like your mother was wise.” He crumbles the meat and puts it into a frying pan, then glances at Hailey, who’s dumping a box of dolls on the living room floor. “Hailey, go wash up before dinner.”
“Can I play first?”
Kane looks at her sternly. “No, you need to wash up.” He turns to me and says, “This is a daily event. She argues with me about everything.”
Hailey stomps away, and I laugh. “Wait until she grows up. Girls are tough, but that independent streak will come in handy one day.”
“I expected it at some point, but not at five.”
“Kids can be challenging, but you’re lucky to have her. There are so many people who can’t have children.” Suddenly, I choke up but immediately swallow my emotions like always. I’m tired and emotional. Holding a baby brought out all those feelings I try to avoid, like emptiness and brokenness. “I wanted children, but it wasn’t meant to be.” I don’t know why I’m telling him personal things, but probably because his sister just gave birth, and watching her dream come true makes me sad that mine never will. “I always wanted them. I dreamed of having three when David and I got married.”
“You’re married?”
“No, not anymore. He wanted children more than he wanted me.”
“I’m so sorry.” Kane stops stirring the beef and looks at me. “That must have been hell helping Eliza.” He walks over and hugs me. It’s not a one-handed hug you’d give an acquaintance, but a full-on bear hug with both arms swallowing me. I thank the universe for a wish granted. It’s good to be in his arms, and I bury my face in his shirt and inhale. He smells like pine, sunshine, and an ocean breeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
I reluctantly break away. “No, that was a magical moment. I’ve never seen a baby born except on TV. Honestly, it was a beautiful experience. I’m blessed that I was allowed to be present.”
Kane laughs. “I was here when Amanda gave birth to Hailey, and I wouldn’t call it magical. That woman called me every name under the sun.” He looks around as if to make sure Hailey can’t hear. “She wouldn’t even hold her or feed her or anything.”
I couldn’t fathom the idea of not wanting to hold my child. I mean, if I carried it in my body for nine months, nurturing it, experiencing every kick and flutter, how could I not embrace her when she finally arrived?
“That had to have been hard. What did you do?”
“I called in reinforcements. My mother was alive then. She came in and took over.”
“What happened to Hailey’s mom? Were you married?”
He returns to the pan, stirring the meat, browning it thoroughly before adding the sauce. All I wish is that he’d hug me again.
“We weren’t married. Amanda is a do-gooder, but her focus has never been on people. She left us at six weeks to save the seals in Namibia. She pops in on occasion, but there’s never any warning.”
A lump the size of a fist lodges in my throat. “Did you have any help?”
He nods. “Yes, my family stepped in. During the first year, my brothers ran their businesses and mine to ensure I had the money and resources to care for us. After that, my mom and Eliza watched Hailey while I fished. Then my mom got cancer, and it was just Eliza.” He puts water in a big pan, sets it on the burner with the flame high, and then calls out to Hailey. “What are you doing up there?”
There’s a giggle before she races down the stairs in a Cinderella dress. “I dressed for dinner.”
I look at my borrowed yoga pants and T-shirt. “I may be underdressed.”
“You look great,” Kane says.
My stomach flips and then flops at the compliment. “If you keep being so nice to me, I may never want to leave.”
Hailey twirls in her blue dress. “I’ve got a Snow White dress you can borrow.”
“I appreciate the offer.” It tickles me that she thinks it would fit.
Kane places three plates on the table and then stares into my eyes. “I don’t see that as a bad thing. Besides, finding another place will be near impossible. This is where you’ll stay.”
Every cell in my body surges with a fiery intensity, sending electric currents straight to my core. But I remind myself that I’m not here forever. This is temporary.
“I’ve got a new boss in Phoenix that might have a problem if I decide not to return.”