Page 65 of Timber Ridge
As we pull into the driveway, Hailey unbuckles and jumps off the ATV first, excited and bursting with energy, racing toward the house. Kane and I follow more slowly. I steel myself for what lies ahead.
“I’m sorry,” Kane says. “I should have set boundaries, but I didn’t expect this.”
I’m not sure what he means by “this.” Is it Amanda showing up, or the emotions between us? We enter the house, and everything looks normal, but the air is different—heavier. Hailey calls out, “Mommy?” and we hear movement from down the hallway.
“Stay here,” Kane says quietly as he walks away. I listen, hearing muffled voices.
After a few minutes, Kane comes back, looking tense. “She’s in my bed like she belongs there.”
A cold wave of shock washes over me, but I force myself to stay calm. I think about Amanda being in his bed. The image stabs at my heart. I want to scream, to demand she leave, to make it clear that she no longer belongs here. But I know I can’t give in to those emotions. Instead, I steel myself, taking a deep breath and clenching my fists at my sides.
What does this mean for us? The questions swirl in my mind. I fear this will complicate everything, that Amanda’s presence will resurrect old feelings and create a rift between Kane and me. But I also fear looking weak, like I’m not strong enough to stand my ground.
I meet Kane’s eyes, trying to mask my turmoil. “Let her stay there. You aren’t sleeping there, anyway.” My voice comes out steadier than I expect. Inside, I’m imagining the worst—Amanda trying to reclaim her place in Kane’s life.
As Kane walks away, the weight of the situation presses down on me. My mind is a storm of conflicting emotions. I know I was supposed to leave after the summer, that this was meant to be temporary. But somewhere inside, I want to stay. Kane said I belonged here with him, but was that just a statement for now, or did it mean something more? Was he thinking of a future with me, or was he simply trying to manage the chaos of the moment?
My thoughts spiral back to my past. My husband left me, and the wound is still fresh. Now, faced with Amanda’s unexpected return, old insecurities resurface.
I fear history repeating itself, losing Kane to someone who fits better into his past and maybe his future.
But then it hits me, like a bolt of lightning—I’ve spent so much time trying to be enough for others, to be wanted and needed. All I ever wanted was for someone to want me and only me. To choose me, not because of what I could give them, but because of who I am.
The tears well up, but I blink them away. I can’t show weakness, not now.
A few minutes later, Amanda arrives wearing nothing but my favorite flannel shirt of Kane’s. The sight of her in his shirt is like a punch to the gut. Seeing her in it, so casually claiming something so personal, stirs a storm of emotions within me.
My mind races, anger and jealousy bubbling up, battling with my resolve to stay calm. I clench my fists at my sides, struggling to maintain my composure. Amanda's audacity is infuriating, and the way she flaunts her presence is like a deliberate challenge. My chest tightens. This isn’t just about a shirt—it’s about territory, about boundaries that are blurred and violated. And yet, this isn’t my house. It’s Kane's job to set those boundaries. And Kane, is he mine?
Before anyone responds, Amanda calls Hailey from the living room where she was watching cartoons. “Hailey, sweetie, look what I brought you!” she says, holding out a package for Hailey to see.
Hailey's eyes widen with excitement as she looks at the present, but her excitement quickly fades when she sees what's inside—a set of jumbo building blocks. She frowns. "Those are for babies," she says, her disappointment evident.
Amanda’s smile tightens. “But I thought you’d like them.”
Hailey looks up at me, seeking my reaction. “Why don’t you thank your mom, Hailey? It was very nice of her to bring you a present.”
Hailey hesitates but then mutters, “Thank you, Mommy,” before turning back to me. “Can we go play with the sparkles now?”
I shake my head. “In a few minutes. Why don’t you finish your cartoons first.” Hailey happily skips away.
Kane shakes his head. “Amanda, we need to set some boundaries,” he says. “You don’t belong in my bed or my clothes.”
Relief floods through me, mingling with an unexpected sense of validation. Kane is choosing me, asserting our relationship in front of Amanda. But almost immediately, doubt creeps in. Is this just a passing defense, or does it signal something deeper?
She sighs and brushes her hair back. “I didn't think it would be such a big deal.” She looks at me. “Aren’t you temporary?”
I stand there, speechless. Amanda’s words pierce the fragile bubble of relief, bringing back the nagging uncertainty about my place here. I am like a ping pong ball, bouncing between moments of clarity and confusion, security and doubt.
Kane claimed I’m more than just help, but what does that even mean? More than help but less than a partner? His words felt comforting in the moment, yet they lack a clear definition.
I hate being at the mercy of someone else’s decisions. The fear of losing Kane is gnawing at me, growing with each passing moment. Seeing Amanda here, so comfortable and confident, makes that fear seem more real than ever. What if Kane realizes he still cares for her? What if I’m just a temporary distraction in his life?
The thought of losing him to Amanda, of being pushed aside again, is almost unbearable.
Needing to escape the tension, I get Hailey and lead her out of the room. “Let’s find those sparkles now,” I say.
Walking down the hall to my room, I replay Amanda’s words in my mind. “Aren’t you temporary?” It’s not what I want, but the truth is I am temporary.