Page 36 of Hotwife
Des took a sip of his tea. “I am, that’s true. But what I’m saying is true too, and you know it.”
Whatever response there could have been eluded me. The heavy rain pelted the beach as the storm raged.
An overwhelming mirror held to my mind and my heart.
* * *
My tea had long cooled, along with my anger, by the time I dared a glance over at Des, sitting on the small loveseat. His eyes must have sensed mine because he immediately caught my gaze. Thunder roared in the distance, shaking the tiny cabin and making me jump. Cold air snaked through the tiny cracks in the window by the table, chilling my skin.
Des patted his lap in wordless invitation and I pushed back a smile. My feet moved of their own accord until I was standing before him. “I don’t want to crush you.”
He snorted. “If you could crush me then that would be the best pain of my life, Queen. Sit your pretty ass down.”
I rolled my eyes playfully but obeyed, positioning myself in his lap and into his broad frame. His arms melted around me like cocoon as I nuzzled the crook of his neck. He smelled like saltwater and redwood trees. His warmth and smell soon leaving me feeling intoxicated as the heavy rain pelted the thin roof.
“I’m sorry for what I said about Cedric,” his throat vibrated, and I sat up, meeting his forrest greens. “I’m jealous of the time he’s had with you. I’m jealous he met you first. I want years with you too, Queen.”
Swallowing my emotion hoping it would drown out the burning feeling in my chest, I pressed my forehead to his. “I feel for you so deeply. This is all so confusing.”
“We both know what will happen, who you’ll choose. You know too. But I want you to think about something. If there was only room for him, how’d I get in? Why’d you agree to sleep with other men if he was enough?”
My heart squeezed but instead of arguing, I met his lips with mine. He didn’t pull back like I expected, or maybe like how I was accustomed to. Instead, his rough hands cupped my jaw, pulling me in tenderly and kissing me slow and soft. There was insurmountable emotion behind his embrace. It threatened to drown me, swallow me whole and pull me into its undertow. The scary thing was that part of me wanted it. Part of me was fantasizing about running away with him, starting a new life, or multiple new lives, all over the world. The laughter we’d share, the fights, the adventures… I wanted it all. And I wanted them with Desmond. Des was right. What did that say about me and my marriage?
* * *
It was pitch black outside when the rain finally subsided. My phone had died and with zero bars of service, the only thing Desmond’s phone could do was tell us the time. Past four in the morning. I’d fallen asleep tucked up in his hold and awoken with a start. After relishing his warmth my mind flew into a panic. If Cedric had come home and I wasn’t there…
Tugging his shirt frantically he woke with a lazy smile. “Hey beautiful.”
“Ugh, don’t make me swoon right now. I’ve got to get home, no one knows where I am and my car…” My eyes widened in horror. “My car is still at Eva’s, dammit.”
Standing, I took Desmond’s hands and pulled, urging him to stand. God, he was heavy. Smirking, he stood to full towering height. “I’ll tell my evil step-mother there was an emergency at the aquarium and we had to leave. Come on, I’ll take you to your car if you really want me to.” After a stretch, he opened the cabin door inviting in a cool, salty breeze.
No, I don’t want to.
But I found myself nestling in behind him on his bike. I squinted under the helmet as tears burned behind my eyelids. My psyche felt the same as it did when I’d stay out too late and sneak home, wondering if Dad would be waiting at the door to yell at me. Worst of all, I didn’t even want to go home. My magazine worthy house didn’t feel like home anymore. Honestly, it never did.
When he dropped me at my car I climbed in without so much as a goodbye. If I said goodbye I’d end up crying and he’d never let me leave. Thankfully my car purred to life without a sound and I crept home in the low-light hours of the early morning, not knowing what would be awaiting me when I arrived. Most nights Cedric worked all evening and overnight. But sometimes he’d come home after midnight. His schedule was erratic. If he’d come home after midnight and I wasn’t home he’d know I’d broken a rule and stayed elsewhere. I’d never broken a rule before now. Not one he’d so easily witness, at least.
I shut the engine outside our house, not wanting to click the garage button and risk waking up my sister and Caroline. Though I was desperate to see if Cedric’s car was inside. Opening the front door slowly, I crept in, breathing a sigh of relief when it looked like all was well and normal.
“You’re home late,” a deep voice startled me and I froze. “Or should I say early,” he added, checking his watch. Cedric stood, arms crossed, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. I swallowed. In the shadows I couldn’t make out his expression, but his impassive tone told me to tread lightly.
“Yeah, Cedric, I think we should probably talk…”
Cedric took a step closer and I noticed he was still in his scrubs. “Must have been some girl’s night if we need to talk about it,” he smiled weakly. “I just got home and thought I’d grab a snack before heading to bed.”
“What?” I asked in confusion. “My phone died, I’m sorry if I worried you.” Yes, tread lightly, Dolly…
“Not a problem, I called Odette and she let me know you were with her and Caroline visiting some of their friends. Did she not tell you?”
“Oh, yeah she must have forgot. Anyway, I’ll let you sleep.” I made a mental note to give Odie one of my Coach bags as a thank you for covering for me. Luckily she wasn’t even home so my alibi would check out.
“Come with me?” He asked, reaching out to hold my elbow and my guilty, lying, stupid heart plummeted to the ground.
“Yeah, of course. I’d love to.”
After separate showers, baby-steps, I climbed into bed with my husband. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as I rested my head on his chest. Just as sleep was close to claiming me, his gruff whisper sent ripples of both shame and panic through my blood.