Page 42 of Hotwife
My sister snorted. “Fuck her. She called you a whore and tried to shame you for having sex. What year is it, 1950?”
“She found out her husband cheated on her in front of a room full of people… and with someone she thought was a friend. I deserved it.”
“No, you didn’t,” Odie argued. “He deserved the blame, not you. You did nothing wrong.”
“Whether I’m right or wrong doesn’t matter. People are hurt, and it’s because of me.”
“What about the bad boy?” Caroline asked, breaking the momentary silence.
“I think I’m in love with him.”
The sounds of their gasps weren’t subtle.
Odette opened another Pop Tart and handed it to me. “Dolly… what about Cedric?”
“I love him too. I don’t want a divorce. I want to grow old with him. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m also in love with Desmond.” I slumped in my seat, resting my forehead on the cool countertop. “I don’t know, you guys, none of this was ever supposed to happen.”
“Well,” Odie said, standing and hitting my back between my shoulder blades. “That’s what you get for chasing dick.”
Caroline laughed. “Yes, we don’t have that problem, do we?”
Their cackles made me smile against the marble. “Ha. Ha. You two are just so funny.”
* * *
Even though it was technically autumn, the dry, sweltering afternoon heat clung to my skin and blouse. I’d missed Georgia.
Rolling down my window, I let the toasty air run its fiery fingers through my hair as I made the thirty-minute drive from Atlanta to Covington, my hometown. It always amazed me how in Georgia, you could be in a bustling, energetic city, filled with lights and glamour. And within a thirty-minute drive in either direction, you were transported back in time to rural country life.
I’d lived in cloudy, melancholy Seattle for so long that I’d grown to appreciate every detail of the place I was born and raised. I loved the stands on the side of the road with old farmer-men in overalls selling peaches, or honey, or canned jams. I loved how you couldn’t throw a rock without hitting a church steeple. Passing my dad’s church on my drive made me nostalgic, though somehow it looked smaller than it was the last time I was here.
“How are you so calm?” Odette’s voice from the passenger’s seat broke my trance.
“It’s Mom and Dad, not a two-headed snake, Odie,” I teased, making light of her predicament the same way she always did to me. “You have to face them, eventually. What was your plan? Live in a hotel with your wife for the rest of your life and never talk to your parents again?”
“You say that like it’s not a solid option, Dolly.” My sister crossed her arms and looked out the window. “You know, it’s not really fair you’re forcing me to stop running from family when that’s exactly what you’re doing.”
“I’m not running… I just need some time.” But my soul gripped at her accusation. She was right. But what else was there to do? I couldn’t sit in a hotel in Seattle when my own home, my husband, my… whoever Desmond was to me, were out there. I couldn’t drive past the hospital every day and wonder what Cedric was doing inside or search the aquarium parking lot for Desmond’s motorcycle. I was thankful to have left my cell phone behind when I’d left the house, but a part of me also felt forsaken by the men I loved.
All hell let loose and where were they? Granted, they didn’t have a means to contact me, and I didn’t exactly inform anyone that I was leaving town, but still. My mind was irrational. I had to get out of town and far from the drama that plagued me.
“If I have to talk to Mom and Dad, you have to talk to your husband and your boyfriend,” my sister pouted.
“Eventually, I might,” I sighed. Though I was terrified of what they would say. Fearful of where my husband’s head was at. He’d probably already drawn up divorce papers. I’d broken his every rule for hotwifing, I’d slept with a former patient, and a colleague, unknowingly to both, but still.
There was also the matter that Cedric had asked Desmond to pursue me. If that were true, then I truly didn’t know what to think. Why would he set me up to fail? Unless the startling truth was that my husband no longer loved me and wanted me to fall in love with another man so he could be rid of me in good conscience.
Then there was Desmond. Who pursued me because my husband called in a favor. Humiliation rippled through me at the thought. I played right into his hand, too. I ate up the stupid neck-biting and the bid to be his photography assistant. It had to have been a game or just an odd way to pay back Cedric for saving his life. I don’t think he planned for feelings to get involved. None of the three of us planned for that. But it happened. And now we were in a huge freaking mess.
And all I wanted in the midst of a huge mess was some of my mom’s lemon cake and some honest to god southern sweet iced tea.
“I didn’t force you to come, Odie. You could have stayed in Atlanta with Caroline. Or hell, you could have stayed in Seattle,” I said, turning the rental car onto our street.
Odie fiddled with the knob of the radio. “Dolly, give me a break. You knew when you announced you were flying back home, I couldn’t just let you go alone. What kind of sister would I be if I just abandoned you like that?”
“A sister like me,” I whispered, gripping the wheel and staring ahead. “I left you, Odie. I never should have flaked on our road trip. Eloping so fast and leaving you behind was one of the shittiest things I’ve ever done. I’m sorry.” My voice cracked at the words I should have said years ago.
Silence filled the car as we suddenly hit a familiar dirt road. The dirt road that smelled like cut grass and honeysuckle. It reminded me of Cedric and how we first met. My heart broke into pieces at the memory. I wished he were here. “I know why you did, Dolly. It was hard, but I get it. These past few weeks have felt like… old times. I know you’re going to go back to your life and everything, and I have Caroline now, too. But I don’t know, I don’t really want to lose you again.”