Page 14 of Hot Life
“Eyes closed please, ladies and partners. Envision your vagina as a radiant flower opening for the miracle of birth.” The woman spun on her heel, floating between the dozen couples present. Des coughed to hide a laugh, and I opened an eye to glare at him. Caroline signed us up for birth classes, claiming this lady was the best in town. I tried to go in with an open mind. Maybe this course could teach me how to love pregnancy. Maybe I needed a little dose of spirituality…or whatever this was.
“I’m envisioning the radiant, blooming baseball game we’re missing right now,” Cedric muttered under his breath. Des huffed in agreement. Men. Having two guys is all fun and orgasms until you realize you’re constantly outnumbered by testosterone and a steady stream of sports-talk.
I opened my eyes and whisper-yelled. “I’m kicking you both out if you can’t pretend to take this seriously. I’m the one who has to shove a baby out my vagina.”
“Your flower,” Des corrected with a smirk.
Despite staring daggers at my irreverent husbands, I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling.
“Remember, class,” Sonny sing-songed. “How your precious little star-light-babies are brought into the world will shape the entire course of their lives. If they’re surrounded by stress and toxic pain medications, they’ll be wired for disease forever…but if you endure the tingles of feeling, their lives will be held in perfect harmony.”
“Oh, give me a break,” Cedric complained.
Spinning like a dancer on her ballet slippers, Sonny swished her long skirt through the maze of big bellies on bouncy balls and halted before me and my errant husbands. “Excuse me, I’m sensing some resistant energy over here. What is your name?”
Ced straightened and crossed his arms. “Dr. Cedric Winslow.”
Sonny folded her palms at her chest. “A medical doctor, how wonderful. Perhaps you can explain to the class the risks of epidurals?”
Cedric raised an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged my shoulders. “I’d be happy to.”
Desmond’s mouth tightened into a straight line, a mixture of mirth and horror as Cedric stood, towering over the instructor and walking towards the front of the room. He was a white collared shirt awash in a sea of incense, candles, and earth tones. I half wondered if Sonny was being less than altruistic in her request that Ced speak. If she thought she could intimidate him, she was about to learn she was very wrong.
“Hello, I’m Dr. Cedric Winslow. I’m a neurosurgeon. Ms. Lovestruck has requested I share a little more about pain management options during labor.”
Sonny sank onto a pink ball and tilted her head in curiosity. “Particularly the risks associated with epidurals, doctor.”
Every wide-eyed pregnant person and their partner stared him down, waiting.
“Ah yes. Ms. Lovestruck is correct; everything in life carries some degree of risk. But thankfully modern medicine has come a long way. Epidurals are an excellent pain management option with relatively low risk. But if you’re not interested in that, you can always request intravenous pain medicine. It’s shorter lasting but could get you over the hump of active labor or transition.”
“Jeez, he knows a lot about this,” Des whispered, sliding an arm around my waist and tugging me close.
“He’s amazing,” I replied softly.
Des smiled. “He really is.”
A woman raised her hand. “Can we change our mind at any time if we thought we wanted a natural birth but then later in labor decide we want medicine?”
“Absolutely,” Cedric smiled. “Some epidural teams will need a good twenty-minutes notice, so keep that in mind. Our local hospital has an epidural unit just for the labor and delivery floor, so you’re not competing with the surgery ward.”
Sonny bristled, looking slightly defeated. I don’t think calling Cedric up to speak went as planned for her, and I felt a little bad. Cedric noticed, and ever the gentleman, redirected it back to her. “But it sounds like Ms. Lovestruck knows of more natural options than I do. It’s always best to try these first, as you might find more or better relief than you would with medicine. If so, that’s wonderful. I’d love to hear what those are.”
Sonny stood, smiling genuinely. “Let’s give a round of applause for Dr. Winslow. Perhaps you can help with the rest of the class? I’d love to hear more about hospital procedures with things like water births, essential oils, doulas, and so on.”
“It would be my pleasure.”
Desmond took over Ced’s position behind me and rubbed my back, leaning forward, his lips brushing my ear. “So much for that baseball game.”
I giggled but watched my husband with awe. Between him and Sonny, the rest of the class actually left me feeling a little lighter, a little less afraid of labor.
Before we left, Sonny sailed over. “Dr. Winslow, I’d love to have you back sometime. I have another prenatal group in three weeks. And I just have to say, what a gorgeous couple you three are. I’m poly myself and my wife and two husbands will be thrilled to hear you all stopped by my class.”
“Someone else with two husbands?” I smiled. “Bless your heart. The laundry…”
Sonny sniggered. “It’s a lot of jeans that get thrown right outside the laundry basket, that’s for sure.”
Cedric and I pointed a glance mockingly at Des.