Page 20 of Hot Life
I watched it register across Desmond’s face as rage filled him. Photos just like the one she’d sent him earlier. He yanked his friend up by the shirt collar. “No one looks at our wife but us, Tristan. You’re about to get a beating from us both.”
Then, apparently, because of our visibility above the club, a sort of riot ensued. Tristan’s fist made contact with Des’s jaw. Desmond threw a punch, then a bouncer tried to pull him off. I punched the bouncer. And then all hell broke loose. Rob wandered in from the bathroom, confused, but instead of retreating, he jumped in on the action, hitting security, hitting Tristan, taking a break only to ask me why we were hitting Tristan… Alright, maybe Rob wasn’t so bad.
And then the police showed up.
* * *
SPA NIGHT
Odette
Someone had to bring order to the mayhem of our family. Growing up, Dolly was always the one getting in trouble. She was the rebel, the one that bucked tradition. In a lot of ways, Dolly paved the way for me to be brave enough to pursue the life that I wanted. If it weren’t for knowing with one hundred percent certainty that my older sister would be there for me and support me through coming out as lesbian, I was not sure if I would have had the courage to do it. Not to mom and dad at least. She’d shared her home with me, her life, and we were in this together. This crazy little dysfunctional family. Complete with the meat head biker guy, the boring old doctor, the angelic Caroline, my erratic and overbearing sister, and me, the only calm and level-headed one of the crew. They needed me. And I pretty much always had a plan for every situation. Caroline and I had agreed that in the later months of Dolly’s pregnancy, we wouldn’t stray far from home. No way was I leaving her birth in the hands of the men. Desmond couldn’t even close a chip bag when he was done with it, much less handle a laboring woman. And Cedric, bless his heart, sometimes Dolly’s mood swings turned him into a deer in headlights. No, she needed Caroline and I more than she needed them.
They had to have recognized it, too, because soon after she announced her pregnancy, we all made a family pact that she’d never be home alone. We had a secret group chat where we arranged our family calendar. Who’s watching Dolly today? It was good baby practice.
Caroline and I had her hospital bag packed. My wife, the now doula, thought of everything from water bottles and phone chargers to fuzzy slippers and nursing bras. The nursery was coming along, and Dolly was going to flip when she saw it. I’d give the guys that one; they did a good job.
But nothing could have prepared me for the phone call I got late after our spa night. My sister was staying up, watching TV, waiting for her two ding dongs to get home. Her and Caroline were sprawled on the sofa with the dogs, my wife flipping through the pages of The Birth Partner while some coral reef snooze fest documentary droned on in the distance. And my phone buzzed with Desmond’s name. I ignored it. Fuck off, Des. It rang again. And again. And again.
“What?” I hissed as I jerked the phone to my ear. I had just walked into the kitchen to feed the pups.
“Is Dolly nearby?” Desmond sounded more serious than I’d ever heard him, and I panicked. Were they in an accident? She’d die if something happened to one of them. My heart almost stopped.
I gripped the countertop. “No, what’s going on?”
“There’s been a…situation. I need you to come get us but not tell Dolly where you’re going.”
“Are you kidding me? Where are you? In—” I stopped. “Are you in jail?”
“I’m sending you the address. Hurry.”
The line went dead and a text shot through. I placed a palm to my mouth at the location. That asshole went and got himself arrested. Jesus Christ. But he was right. I couldn’t tell my sister. She had pregnancy-induced high blood pressure and was awaiting her c-section. We couldn’t risk stressing her right now. I grabbed my keys. “I’m going out for ice cream.”
“I’ll come with you,” Dolly called after me.
I froze. “No, you’ve walked enough today. Remember what the doctor said? Light on your feet in the last weeks.”
She sighed, slumping back onto the pillow pile. “Fine. Get me strawberry, please.”
“Yup!”
The city jail smelled like feet and piss. Great reminders of why I prefer women over men. Disgusting. Desmond stood and walked over. “They won’t let me bail him out because I was…involved. I took a car here. I can’t drive I’m a little—”
“Oh, I smell it. Beer is gross, ugh. Wait, you’re not the one who was locked up?”
He crossed his arms and smirked. “Nope. I’m a boy scout, Odie. Why would you think it was me?”
I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, though my shock was evident as I walked to the front desk. I signed paperwork and paid the bail. Shortly after, Cedric walked out, madder than a hornet. “Why’d they lock me up and not you?”
Desmond put a hand to his chest, feigning innocence. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?” He shrugged. “The cops liked me better.”
Cedric leveled him a look that made me laugh. “What the hell happened?” I asked, dragging their asses out to escape the smell.
“You didn’t tell Dot, right?”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “No, are you nuts? She’d flip her shit if she knew one of her dumbass husbands got locked up at a dadchelor party. Weren’t you only supposed to like, talk about grilling at cookouts and clip cellphones to your dad-jean shorts?”
“Very vivid imagery there, Odie. You should be an author,” Des joked.