Page 83 of Broken Romeo
He holds up a finger, mouth pressing into a firm line. “Technically, it’s not my money. It truly is a loophole in union rules that allows us to allocate some of the budget for actor housing—”
“Yeah, a relocation budget! Like when they bring in a famous box office draw from LA or London. It’s not meant for nobody New York City actresses that are a dime a dozen.”
“Dammit, Kate! Stop saying you’re a nobody. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever seen on a stage if you could just get your head out of your ass. This role could make your career. You’ll be sensational… if you’d just let yourself fall into the character.”
“How can I fall into a character with my secret ex-boyfriend glaring at me—”
Holden presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Stop! Okay, just… stop. Look, Equity guidelines don’t state explicitly what or who the housing budget is for. It’s discretionary. If you’re evicted, then I lose my leading lady.” He pauses, whiskey eyes capturing mine. “And I can’t let that happen.”
“We still have a week of trial rehearsals,” I say, my voice hoarser than I intend. “And you paid my rent for the rest of the year.”
Holden nods, but his gaze remains fastened onto mine. “I’m optimistic.”
“Since when?” I scoff.
He inhales and lets it go slowly through his nose. “The night you sang.” The night the cast went out to the bar. His eyes flutter closed. “Your voice… God, Kate. You have no idea what it does to me.”
I gulp as he opens his eyes and somehow in that moment, I’ve drawn closer to him without even realizing it.
Lifting his hand to my face, he sweeps his thumb across my jaw and says, “You have no idea what you do to me.”
“You’ve made it almost impossible for me to quit the show now.” I’m not sure if I’m talking about him paying my rent or the way he touches me… affects me.
His lips turn up in a small smile. “Maybe that was my plan all along.”
“Pretty dumb plan.”
He gives a boyish shrug, tucking the unlit cigarette behind his ear. “Guess that depends on who you ask.” Turning, he offers me his elbow. “Shall we?”
I slide my palm into the crook of his elbow and relish in how naturally we fit like this. Arm in arm. Holden and Kate. Romeo and Juliet. Director and leading lady. Technically, those girls are all me, and yet, I feel like none of them. “I guess I have no choice.”
He holds the door open with his free hand. “You always have a choice. Some are just more obvious than others. Besides, rehearsals this week will be different. I promise you.”
With a deep breath, I reach for the cigarette, pulling it out from behind his ear. “If I’m beholden to your safety net, then you should be to mine, too.”
An amused smile plays on those hypnotizing lips of his. “Another cigarette is a lot easier to get a hold of than another apartment.”
I examine the worn cigarette. A lot of the tobacco has fallen out. The paper is wrinkled and worn. It’s bent in some places.
“Yeah, but you’ve literally had this exact cigarette for years. I’ve only been in that apartment for one and a half.” I hold up the cigarette to drive home the point. “This holds a lot more emotional weight than my apartment.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. This cigarette represents all your vices.”
I feel his gaze sweep my body like a flame licking across my flesh. “Not all my vices.”
The muscles at his bicep clench as we step into the building, and he guides me with our arms still entwined.
His vice. Though I’m sure he didn’t mean any harm by that statement, it punches me in my lung, knocking the wind from my chest. Truer words had never been spoken. That’s truly what I am—a habit that needs to be kicked.
Maybe he wasn’t wrong all those years ago, writing in his journal. Maybe I could have ruined him. But he beat me to the punch first.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Holden
Five Years Ago…