Page 88 of Broken Romeo
“Good work today.” Holden’s mouth twitches into even more of a smile, and he briefly looks to Nolan before settling onto me. “I know that’s really challenging and you both handled it well. Having intense chemistry on stage means also taking care of each other off stage, too, though. And with this work being so intensive today, I want you two to take a few minutes together before you leave. Take at least five minutes together—I want you watching out for each other. Use this time however you each need to come down off of that hard work.”
“Before we leave?” I ask, then look between Holden and Maggie. She’s standing beside Holden and even though I know she’s the only other person in this show who now knows everything between us, her face is even and unreadable.
“That’s right,” Holden says. “Today was a lot of emotional work and Maggie and I thought you should have at least one early night. But be ready to work tomorrow.”
Holden gathers his messenger bag and heads toward the door, leaving Nolan and I standing there, watching in silence as the theater clears of people, leaving just him… and me standing on a mostly dark stage.
“You okay?” Nolan asks. “I feel like I should hug you or something.”
I shift, crudely aware of how out of character it is for Holden to leave us here alone. To bond. “Yeah. Who knew accepting compliments can be so exhausting?”
It’s such a wildly different experience—a different Holden—than anything I’ve experienced in my life, I’m not sure what to do with it.
He shuffles forward and folds his arms around me in an awkward hug. Or at least, I’m awkward in the hug. I don’t know where to put my hands, so I stand there, my arms hovering over his body, not touching them.
His body shakes with a chuckle, the low rumble of his laugh vibrating against me. “You afraid to touch me after all we’ve been through together on this stage?”
He’s teasing me, but there’s an edge of truth below that question. Like he’s trying to figure me out. That unnerves me even more than the litany of compliments we had to give each other today.
Although Nolan’s dark, curly hair is damp with sweat, he smells faintly of soap and deodorant. He leans in closer to me. Hot breath skims my ear as he whispers, “I worry about you, New Girl.”
I tense with his declaration. “Worry about me? Why?”
I try to pull out of his hug, but he holds me firm against him until I finally relax into his arms and rest my cheek against his chest.
I feel the weight of his chin on the top of my head.
“Most people don’t know my mom’s a trauma surgeon,” he says. “She’s proud of me and all, but she doesn’t like the spotlight, so I try not to talk about her in interviews. But she used to tell me that, when she was dealing with her most serious cases, she always felt calmer with the bloody, gaping wounds and broken bones. She knew just how to fix them. It was the internal hemorrhages that were the most dangerous. The internal bleeding that she couldn’t see that could kill her patient. I guess she trained me to look for those nuances—the person who might be bruised deeper than we can see.”
He pulls back from the hug, hands still clutching my shoulders. “I like you, Kate. I don’t want to watch you bleed…not if I can stop it.”
I’m not even sure I know what to feel anymore. My feelings about men have been tied in knots ever since Holden and I broke up five years ago. But now since Holden kissed me in my stairwell, that knot isn’t just a single entity; my insides are more twisted than a forgotten string of Christmas lights in the back of the attic.
I lower my gaze to my feet, unable to look at him. It’s like he’s seeing through me, cutting into me and spilling my secrets on the floor between us.
“It’s weird to be seen,” I admit.
Nolan laughs. “You should probably get used to that if you’re going to be in this business.”
I gulp, unable to laugh and pretend the core of this exercise isn’t because of my blockage. “Tell me about it. I’m pretty sure that’s why Holden has us doing this. I’m not great at opening up to people.”
I omit the fact that it’s a direct result of Holden’s treatment of me in college.
Nolan grips my hands, warm and firm. “Then Holden’s smart to make us do this. We need to be able to open up at least to each other in this show, even if it’s painful.”
He’s not wrong. “But my character betrays yours. She cheats on you and lies and—”
“And in the end, Zach forgives her. Not because she deserves his forgiveness, but because he deserves the serenity of letting the anger go.”
I don’t think we’re discussing our characters anymore.
Nolan tilts his head, and with a resigned chuckle, hands me his cell phone. “Call yourself from my phone… that way you’ll have my number.”
When I hesitate, he rolls his eyes, but even that action is still sweet and good-natured. I’m not sure that this guy has a malicious bone in his body.
“Look, you’re clearly shaken from rehearsal. I just want to check on you later. And I want you to be able to call me if you need to. I’m the only one who will understand these intense feelings Holden is putting us through. And he told us to be good to each other. To check on each other.” Nolan’s voice drops quieter. “Let me be here for you.”
With a sigh, I punch in my number and feel my phone vibrate from within my back pocket. I hand his phone back to him.