Page 21 of Forbidden Romeo
I take a few steps back, feeling suddenly like I’m intruding on an intensely private moment.
A father hanging out with his son for the first time.
But I also can’t look away.
Holden’s face splits into a glorious smile and he ruffles the kids hair in a tender display of affection.
In all my years knowing Holden, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him smile like that.
I take a deep breath to steady myself as I watch the scene unfold before me. Holden looks so happy, so at ease with Megan and Jamie. He's never looked that way with me. A part of me wants to march over there and demand an explanation, but I know that would only cause a scene and upset Jamie. As much as it hurts, I decide to leave quietly.
I turn and start heading back the way I came, tears stinging my eyes. I can't blame Megan or Jamie - they barely even know I exist. And despite the heartache I'm feeling, I can't begrudge Holden this chance to connect with his son. I only wish he had told me.
Wiping my eyes, I resolve not to confront Holden… not yet. Maybe not ever. I told him I trusted him and now is my time to prove that’s true.
I close my eyes as a fresh wave of pain washes over me. The crisp autumn breeze whispers through the rustling leaves, carrying with it a sense of change and transformation. I can't help but wonder if this is a sign of things to come, a reminder that even in loss there can be growth and new beginnings.
He'll tell me that he’s spending time with them when he's ready, I know he will. And I don't want to jeopardize his newfound relationship with Jamie. As much as it pains me, I love Holden, and I want him to be happy. I'll give him his space for now.
For today, I'll keep walking and let the tears fall. The future I thought we would have isn’t going to be, but maybe this new future will be even better. In time.
As long as we’re together.
As long as we’re honest.
I peek over my shoulder again at Holden, now pushing Jamie on the swings.
This man I love so deeply.
And yet still barely know.
CHAPTER 9
Holden
Five years ago…
My hand hurt.
My head hurt.
My neck hurt.
Literally… Everything on my fucking body hurt as I walked up to class on Monday morning.
The sun was blazing, even from behind my sunglasses causing my already pounding head to throb more. I pushed the sunglasses up on my head and I rubbed my good hand over my face, relieved at the feeling of the air conditioning blasting me as I entered the building, even though it was pretty brisk out.
“Holden.” Professor McCay’s surprised voice pulled me out of my pity party.
“Hey professor,” I said. Holy shit. Was that my voice? It sounded like I’d swallowed a fist full of gravel.
“What are you doing back so soon?” she asked as she lowered her voice and crossed toward me.
I snorted. “I’m surprised my dad didn’t tell you to expect me.”
She had the decency to cough sheepishly into her fist. “Yeah, well. He’s been taking some time. Obviously.”
“Obviously,” I repeated.