Page 56 of Forbidden Romeo
Her gaze narrowed and I swear if she could spew venom at me, she would have. “You know what I meant.”
“You can’t possibly mean that you don’t want me calling you by your name?”
“My name is Kate. And you know exactly what you’re doing.”
I took a deep breath. Jesus, I knew she’d be upset, but I didn’t think she’d be lethal. “What I’m doing is taking Method Acting 102. What I’m doing is fulfilling a promise to do the Kennedy Center performance.”
She folded her arms, staring me down with a hostility I hadn’t seen from her in a long time. Maybe ever.
“Cut the shit. You’ve made it clear you don’t care about Method Acting or this show. And you’ve already got your credits to graduate so what are you really doing here?”
I blinked, surprised at how casually she just cursed. “You said shit.”
Sure, she had told me to get the fuck out back at the hotel over winter break. But this felt different somehow. Cursing in the heat of the moment or once as a blip when you’re mad could be an accident. Casually dropping shit into your daily vernacular felt so very unlike the Katherine I’d come to know.
She rolled her eyes and spun away from me. “Yeah. Someone once told me that I should learn to curse like an adult.”
My heart squeezed. I knew I said that, but I didn’t like it now that I’ve heard her curse a few times like it was nothing. Because it didn’t feel like the Katherine I knew. This jaded angry girl wasn’t the person I met in September and fell for.
She was hardening and it was all my fault. Her soft, delicate skin was callusing and I was the abrasive catalyst that caused it.
If there was ever something I’d regret for the rest of my life… this was it.
“I’m sorry, Katherine. I really am. I’m sorry for bursting into your audition and ruining it. I’m sorry for yelling and making an ass out of myself. But please, can you try to see this from my perspective? McCay told me this guy had a reputation?—”
“And you believed her?” Katherine stepped forward, lowering her voice to a whisper. “She’s a pathological liar who has seemed to make it her life’s mission to make my life a living hell!”
Again with the cursing. I couldn’t help but wince at hearing it which only made Katherine fume more. “Oh grow the fuck up, Holden. So I’m using four letter words finally. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Except it was. It was a very big deal. Because it meant I had fundamentally changed her.
Again.
It proved that I was no good for this girl.
Again.
And yet, I couldn’t stay away.
I just kept coming back, over and over again, and like a sociopath, I kept slicing away at this beautiful girl. Like a crazy person with a knife, I was stabbing into a masterpiece, ruining it with every plunge of my blade.
“It is a big deal,” I said quietly. “It’s a big deal because it shows apathy you didn’t have before…”
Before me.
“Yeah? Well at least I don’t smell like a fucking distillery. When was the last night you went without a drink, Holden?”
“I don’t get drunk every night.”
“That wasn’t my question.” She stepped forward, with a quiet, angry confidence. I barely recognized this Katherine standing in front of me today. She was fierce and angry and bitter. “When was the last time you went twenty-four hours without having a drink?”
She had me there. I couldn’t remember the last time I didn’t have at least a couple drinks. It had become part of my daily schedule, whether it was a beer at the end of the day or a bloody mary at brunch. I was leaning on alcohol to numb myself in the wake of Katherine leaving me. In the wake of my mother’s death.
“I can quit any time. I quit smoking cold turkey, didn’t I?”
Her scowl softened, if only for a moment. “I’m not sure that counts if you replace one addiction for another.”
In a rare display of tenderness, she reached out and took my hand. “I may be mad at you, but I still worry about you. And I still care about you.”