Page 95 of Forbidden Romeo
“And he told me all of it,” Addison cackled. “Who do you think showed me those bloody sheets after your ‘scene’? I have to say, I’m impressed. I didn’t think a little virgin like you had that sort of kinky desire in you… oh wait.” Addison hissed. “We can’t call her the little Virgin anymore, can we baby?”
Her long fingernails slid into my hair and she leaned in, pressing her breasts against me.
I wanted to throw up. My stomach churned and I closed my eyes against the dizzying nausea.
I found my voice and hardened myself to play the part. “You’re telling me I can buy your fucking panties. Buy videos and pictures of you touching yourself. Treat you like a whore. Get drunk on stage with you and even fuck you for the first time in front of hundreds of peers and strangers… and the thing that is the dealbreaker is a goddamn kiss from another woman?”
The bitterness of resentment and hatred left a sour taste in my mouth as I spoke cruel words, causing my throat to tighten with regret.
The crack of my words landed like a whip to her pale, flawless skin, breaking the last thread binding us together.
And still, I didn’t stop. There was one more nail to drive into this coffin. I felt sick even thinking about it. “You nearly murdered my best friend,” I whispered. “Maybe I can get away with fucking another girl or two, don’t you think? Isn’t that a fair trade?”
The tension in the room was palpable and there was a deafening silence as she drew back in shock. The air filled with the sound of Katherine's sharp intake of breath, her gasps mingling with the sound of my harsh words, loud enough to echo over the sound of clinking coffee cups and steaming milk.
Her eyes, wide and glistening with unshed tears, were like a reflection pool, mirroring the hurt and betrayal that built with every venomous word I spewed at her.
In a fit of rage, Katherine hurled the heavy book at me before spinning around with a wild fury. Her apron, decorated with splotches of flour and coffee stains, was ripped off her body in one swift motion as she darted out of the cafe in a blur of movement. The sharp sound of the book hitting the ground echoed through the small space, followed by the slamming of the door behind her.
The sharp aroma of hot coffee and the acrid scent of burnt toast filled my senses, a reminder that this was all part of the plan.
As I tried to steady my breathing, the ache in my chest intensified, causing me to hunch over in agony. It was unbearable. The pain consumed me and all I could do was curse it under my breath.
What have I fucking done?
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave with her hating me. I couldn’t go knowing she thought I didn’t love her.
I launched to my feet, but Addison gripped my hand, looking at me with one of the most sincere glances I’d ever seen from her. “Let her go, Holden. The best thing you can do for her right now is be her enemy number one. Let her hate you. Let her blame you. Let it fuel her for the rest of her career. Trust me.”
I don’t know why I trusted Addison, but I did.
So instead of chasing her, I did the impossible…
I let Katherine walk out thinking I didn’t love her.
That I’d never loved her.
I let her leave thinking it was all a game.
CHAPTER 37
“But to me, it was never a game,” Holden reads aloud where we lay on the couch together. His fingers stroke my arm, gently trailing a path down to my wrist, then back up again to my neck. “She was every breath. Every heartbeat. And I’ll never stop trying to fix what I broke. In both of us.”
He closes the journal.
We’re silent for a long beat. Just the sounds of our breathing and the occasional honk from a cab fifteen stories below.
A sense of calm washes over me. Tranquil peace I haven’t truly felt in the core of myself in five years.
Yes, I had already forgiven Holden. That happened slowly over the last few weeks in watching how he’s changed.
But even with forgiving, I still didn’t understand. I didn’t comprehend why he’d made these choices years ago and how he could so brutally hurt me in one breath while claiming to love me in the next.
And now I get it. There were no fireworks with the epiphany. No massive monologue. Only calm. Like an ocean at rest, something I never thought possible.
“Are you asleep?” he asks after another moment.
“No,” I whisper. “I’m thinking.”