Page 24 of Blinded By Hate

It’s because every time I feel like eating I think I’m going to gain back all the weight I lost. That’s why I sometimes overdose on meds so that I make sure not to eat that much.

But I don’t say that and in everyone else’s head and eyes I’m doing good. I’m happy and healthy and it’s all because I want to do better for Junior.

“Yea, I’ve just been busy with work mostly.”

Technically I’m not lying. I’m just not giving her all the information she should know.

Because if I tell her I'm hiding her brother’s baby she’s going to tell him and then I’ll be dragged back down and all the progress I’ve somewhat made will be gone.

“That’s good. I’ve wanted to reach out after the whole situation happened but I know you needed time.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it a lot, seriously. Time does heal wounds.” Sometimes.

Natalia smiles while she gives me a once over, probably to make sure that I look okay, which I should. I take vitamins to make my face glow and I drink energy drinks once or twice everyday to make sure I look like I’m awake and not a character from The Walking Dead.

“I know you probably have to go soon but why don’t you come to my house this weekend for lunch? Chris will be home and he would be happy to see you.” I really want to but I can’t help but think that might be a bad idea because the outcome is unknown. Will Hayden be there? Will I start talking to Hayden again after I become close with his sister again? Will I have to face him and tell him the truth? “If you’re worried about seeing Hayden, he won’t be at the house. He is always having weekend lunches with his agents.”

I lick my bottom lip, relief rushing through my body.

One lunch at Natalia’s house doesn’t mean I’ll start talking to Hayden again.

It’s just two friends catching up.

“Okay. Lunch sounds great.”

Eleven

Jaclyn

Present

I pull up to a tall house with a bunch of windows in front and trees on the sidewalk. I close the car door and walk closer to the house.

Natalia lives in Brooklyn Heights, a richer part of Brooklyn where there are a bunch of expensive houses and a private school down the street.

As I look at her house, it looks like Chris and her are very well off and they are making enough money to live very comfortably.

I walk up to the front door and knock twice. I fidget with my purse trying to calm my nerves but that feels impossible.

When Natalia invited me over, all I could think about was my involvement with Hayden and what would happen if she were to find out he has a kid he doesn’t know about.

Today, Junior is with Brandon. Brandon said he would take Junior to the park today and then get some ice cream even though it’s cold today. Junior likes to use his cuteness to get what he wants all the time. He watched Shrek a couple months ago and saw Puss the cat make that face with the big pouty eyes and since then Junior has been using that to get his way, which works most of the time.

The door opens revealing a familiar blonde guy.

Chris looks exactly the same, if anything a little bigger because of the training he probably does. His hair is shorter and he has a light scruff on his jaw.

Chris smiles. “If it isn’t the girl who ran away.” I smile lightly, trying not to feel uncomfortable with the comment. “Jaclyn King, how are you? Natalia told me you were coming over.” Chris pulls me in for a hug and I hug him back.

“Yea, I’m doing good.” I pull away from him and put my hands in the pockets of my coat. “Natalia told me to come over for lunch and I couldn’t say no.” I walk inside as Chris holds open the door for me.

Chris opens a door that reveals a closet full of coats. I take off mine and give him it.

“Yea, when Natalia told me you were coming I was shocked because we haven’t seen you since college,” Chris says, and I know he probably isn’t thinking about the reason why I left like I am. “Lilah and Natalia are in the living room.” Chris closes the closet door and I follow him through the hallway. If the house outside looks big, being inside it looks even bigger. Their house looks so luxurious and beautiful, I’m jealous they have so much room. I wish I could give Junior this instead of just a small apartment with a small room where he can barely fit all his toys. We walk inside the living room where Natalia is with Lilah on the floor taking pictures of her playing with her toys. “Babe, Jaclyn’s here.”

Natalia turns her head and her smile widens. She stands up and runs over to me before pulling me into a hug. “Ahhh, I’m so happy you made it.” I hug her back and smile because I have always loved her hugs.

I remember one time crying in her arms because I was worried about Hayden fighting and she hugged me and reassured me that night that everything would be okay. Natalia is the only real friend I think I’ve ever had.