Page 45 of Blinded By Hate

He didn’t know our mother much. He just knew that our mom was a druggie who couldn’t stand the thought of not getting high off some fucked up shit daily.

I haven’t told him about my past with her because I don’t like reliving those memories.

The ones where I had to hide in the cabinets so she wouldn’t find me and ask for me to try some of her new candy with her.

Jaclyn does though.

She knows everything because I ripped my heart out of my chest and laid it in front of her for the taking.

And what did she do?

She fucking left it on the floor like it was nothing.

Like my love wasn’t enough.

“I always knew we were going to face each other again. There’s just something about her that I will never be able to forget. If it’s not her Rowan, it’s no one.”

Rowan licks his bottom lip before saying. “I understand that. She was a big part of your life and you both went through hell together. You will always be in love with her. There is no way to stop that.”

I stand up from the chair and pace. “I just fucking wish I could do something about it.”

“You did. You kissed her.”

I did.

And it felt fucking amazing.

I swear I saw stars when I was kissing her. It felt like everything was okay for just those few seconds and like the world wasn’t falling apart anymore.

Everything was quiet.

When I told Rowan, he wasn’t happy and I knew that Killian wouldn’t be happy either if I told him.

But I couldn’t help it.

I swear I’m not someone who “cheats” but with Nicole, we aren’t even together. It’s all for show and Jaclyn just doesn’t know that.

“She’s different but not in a good way.”

Rowan furrows his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side. “How so?”

“She lost a lot of weight and I don’t think she did that by being healthy. She’s colder, more guarded.”

“She went through a lot, Hayden. You have no clue what happened to her in that room.”

“I know. Fuck, I know. I wish I did so I could help her,” I say, my voice growing louder as I get more frustrated.

“What are you going to do about Killian?”

Killian is not just a friend but he’s also my boss. He is one of the most powerful people in the world. His father used to take the crown but Killian is more ruthless and cold.

He cares for no one. If someone is in his way they will get burned by him. If you’re in Killian’s way, you may as well be dead.

Killian wanted to meet me because he knew about my fighting history. He hired me as his personal fighter. Taking care of his dirty work but also earning money in underground clubs. Killian doesn’t have a second in command but he has men.

I don’t know what that makes me to him but he trusts me a lot to involve me in his business and not just the fights.

But if I fucked with his business, for example, messing up this arrangement with Nicole, I’m considered dead.