Page 88 of Blinded By Hate

I lay back on the bed and close my eyes.

Everything I feel for Hayden is overwhelming, it always has been.

I remember the nights I would cry to Brandon or my mom about him. I never cry to my mom about a guy but Hayden wasn’t just any guy.

He was the guy who stopped my world and made it his. He took my heart and held it in the palm of his hand to keep safe.

“I still love him, Brandon. Even after all these years and it hurts,” I say as tears start forming in my eyes.

“No one ever said love was going to be easy.”

“I just wish I hated him sometimes so I wouldn’t feel like this,” I say as I start to cry to Brandon. “I hate realizing how much he still affects me and how much I care and love him. I’m so fucking scared, Brandon.”

“I know. But you’ll be okay. Whatever happens with Hayden, I’m always going to be here.”

“Thank you,” I say, after a while of silence. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably end up in the bathtub every night crying while drinking red wine to get drunk.”

And we both start laughing lightly because he’s probably right.

Thirty-Seven

Hayden

Present

I’m sitting next to my brother with Killian in front of us.

We are at Killian’s house here in Gaeta. He lives in Lombardy where he grew up but he has multiple properties around the world. I’ve been staying here instead of the hotel because I like having privacy and this is a big piece of property with a private beach too.

Killian is wearing his usual attire. Black trousers and a dark blue shirt. He is always wearing some sort of blue with every outfit, it’s something odd I’ve noticed about him.

He also has his regular jewelry on. A thin chain necklace on his neck, an expensive Bulgari watch on his left wrist and then some rings. Only one ring on his left hand which looks like a band on the ring finger.

He never mentioned he was married but the one thing he never talks about with me is women. So I know not to question it.

My brother is next to me in his usual attire. A black fitted t-shirt with some jeans. Rowan is always dressed casually because he thinks it’s not necessary to be wearing a suit all the time since he doesn’t need to prove himself to people.

Killian was born wearing suits, he told me he’s used to wearing a suit all the time. I’ve seen him in casual attire from time to time but he still dresses with class.

“Why am I here, Hayden?” Killian asks, leaning into his chair.

I’m pretty positive that Killian already got word of what I did.

He knows I fucked up but he also knows I don’t care.

Rowan is here because with me and Killian being the two hotheads, we need one calm person to make sure things don’t get out of hand but at the same time I’ve never seen Killian really lose control or get crazy.

He’s always been calm with a stern voice. What he says goes and no one questions him because they are too scared to see what might happen.

His dad is completely different, I heard.

You never know what Ace De Luca is going to do. He doesn’t waste time killing someone. He lights their ass on fire and says, “Saluta Satana da parte mia.”

Ace De Luca doesn’t care who’s in his way. If you say one bad thing about him or his family, if you don’t obey him, he won’t even think twice about killing you.

Everyone is replaceable to him except his wife.