Page 87 of Havoc's Fox
Havoc raised both eyebrows at her, as though to say, ‘really?’.
“Oh, yeah, okay,” she said, realizing she was the reason.
“Does that bother you?” he asked.
“I find I’m less and less bothered by the entire situation. I mean, it is what it is. Can’t be undone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never forget, and I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive, but… life’s too short to obsess over something you can’t change, you know? I don’t have it in me to live angry anymore. I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to feel relieved. I want to feel grateful I’m alive, not bitter that I’m alive and living a different life than I expected.”
“You were never meant to be a victim. You were never meant to be hurt.”
“I know that. But it doesn’t change the emotions. At some point I have to stop blaming you and accept that I and I alone are responsible for my emotions and my reactions. There’s no law that says you have to or don’t have to do anything at all. And there’s no law that says that I have to sit by and accept it, or demand anything different. We’re both responsible for our own actions and our own responses. You can’t be happy if you choose not to be, nor can I. And you can’t hurt someone if they don’t allow you to hurt them. And that’s kind of where I am. I refuse to be in a situation that can hurt me again. And I’m sure that’s where you are… you’ve got a baby to protect, and by all rights should be refusing to expose either of you to a situation that could ever hurt you.”
“I understand,” Havoc said. He didn’t like it, he wanted her to fall into his arms and say that she forgave him and they’d live happily ever after, and that wasn’t happening. But at least she was sitting here having breakfast with him and they were conversing like two grown ass adults instead of verbally fencing with each other. It was progress.
“My daddy won’t let anything hurt us, right, Daddy?”
“Not ever. Northing’s gonna hurt anyone I love.”
“Told you!” Harley said, pushing her plate away. “I’m done.”
“You ate it all!” Havoc said. “You must be anxious to get out there and get your walk on, girl!”
“I am. Are you ready?” Harley asked Analise.
“I am, just a few more bites and I’ll be done. You got your shoes on?”
“I do!” she lifted her feet to show Analise her tennis shoes.
Analise turned just slightly so her legs would clear the edge of the kitchen island and lifted her feet. “Me, too!” she exclaimed.
“Go get your coat, Harley. By the time you get back Analise will be ready,” Havoc said.
She jumped down and ran toward the stairs, stopping to climb them carefully rather than rushing up them.
“Good girl,” Havoc said.
He got up and started clearing the plates, taking Analise’s from her as she finished her breakfast.
“Thank you for breakfast. I wasn’t expecting that,” Analise said.
“You’re welcome. Gotta make sure you two have something warm in your bellies before you go off in search of the morning birdies,” he said.
“I’m back!” Harley said, charging to the top of the stairs before once again, slowing and taking her time coming down.
When she ran into the kitchen Havoc helped her get her jacket on, then walked them to the front door. Just before he opened the door, he took a jacket off a rack there and draped it over Analise’s shoulders. “Keep warm.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”
“Humor me,” he said.
“Alright. Thank you.”
He smiled but didn’t say anything, instead he just opened the door and stood back so they could head outside. “I have my phone on me in case you need me,” he said, looking at Analise.
She nodded, knowing he meant if the car from the previous day showed up.
Harley pulled her toward the edge of the porch. “Come on! Let’s hurry!”
“I’m coming!” Analise said, laughing as she followed Harley.