Page 71 of Vicious Devotion
“I think I can manage.”
I’m more worried, actually, about getting back up without the block to help me. But I slide off of Honey without much trouble, my boots hitting the grass as Gabriel ties her as well. He turns, slipping his hand into mine, and I jolt at the touch. His palm feels warm and a little rough against mine, and I swallow hard as another rush of heat slides over my skin.
“I wanted to show you more of the property, before—” he hesitates, and I look at him.
“Before it’s gone? Before we leave?”
“Both,” Gabriel admits. “I don’t know how much longer we’re going to be here—but if Igor is going to do anything, he’ll do it soon. Either he’ll make a move, or the don will find a way to come to terms with him, and stop any further action from taking place. It’s gone on too long already.”
I nod silently. It’s the same thing I’ve been thinking, but hearing it aloud sends a shiver down my spine. “Have you looked for a place back in New York?”
“I’ve looked at some houses.” Gabriel runs his other hand through his hair. “It’s hard to think of what will replace a house that I lived in for so long. With so many memories. Don’t,” he adds, as he glances over to see me opening my mouth. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault, and I don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry. We should be past that, Bella.”
I bite my lip, nodding. “I don’t know what it would take to not make me feel that it is,” I say softly, and he sighs.
“I know. I want to keep telling you, over and over, that I would do this again even if I knew the consequences.” He leads me closer to the edge of the lake, tugging on my hand as he sinks down to the grass. I sit down next to him, my knees propped up, the water shimmering in the sinking sun, a few feet away from us. “I wouldn’t change any of it. Which means if there’s any fault to be had, it’s mine.”
“Why?” I look at him, the question slipping out before I can stop it. I want to know, suddenly, more than I have in the past. It feels like time is running out, and if there’s a chance he might say what I think he almost did that afternoon in our bedroom?—
Gabriel looks at me, his expression faltering for a moment, uncertain. “I?—”
“Just tell me.” We’re sitting so close, our hands still linked together, and I feel that tension pulse between us, the awareness of how alone we are, how easily we could fall back into the intimacy that we’re always dancing on the edge of. “Why would you do it again, Gabriel?”
His lips part. It’s as if he wants to say something, and can’t. His gaze holds mine, flicks to my mouth, and back up again. “What if I just show you?” he murmurs, his hand tightening around mine—and before I can answer, he leans in, crushing our mouths together.
The kiss is hot, surprising, catching me off guard as he slants his mouth over mine. My lips part automatically, and it’s as if it sets something off inside Gabriel, his other hand grabbing my hip as he leans over me, deepening the kiss. I gasp at the sudden hot slide of his tongue against mine, and in an instant, before I know it, I’m on my back in the grass with him leaning over me, his mouth still hard on mine.
I try to whisper his name, and all that comes out is a moan. He’s between my legs, hard and solid, pressing against me with a fervor that tells me that whatever else he feels, his desire hasn’t lessened a bit. His hand on my hip slides under my t-shirt, fingers against bare skin, and he groans into the kiss as his hips rock against mine.
“Fuck,” he growls under his breath, his hand sliding up to the edge of my bra, cupping my breast in his hands. “God, I fucking want you, Bella. This is driving me crazy. This?—”
His forehead presses against mine as he tugs down the cup of my bra, rolling my stiff nipple between his fingers. I can feel his thick, heavy erection grinding against me as he presses me down into the grass. He leans down, his lips sweeping over my jaw and up to the shell of my ear as he toys with my nipple.
“I made you come just like this, remember?” he whispers into my ear, tugging on the stiff peak as he does. “The first time you came for me, from my touch. Can you come for me like this again, Bella?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, my voice cracking. Every tug of his fingers sends a jolt of sensation straight down between my thighs; every roll of his hips against mine grinds the seam of my jeans exactly where I need it the most. I’m soaking wet; I can feel it—my panties are clinging to my skin, my body tight and aching to be filled. I don’t know if I can come like this, not because it doesn’t feel good—but because now I know how much better it can feel. I want more than just his fingers on my breast. I want?—
“You want more?” Gabriel growls into my ear, and I realize too late that I whispered it aloud. His other hand slides down, between us, flicking open the button of my jeans as he tugs down the zipper, still toying with one nipple as he does, his mouth warm against my ear.
Before I can say anything, his fingers delve into my jeans, slipping deftly under the edge of my panties. “Oh, fucking Christ,” he growls into my ear as his fingers slide against the swollen, wet flesh, dipping between my folds and into my entrance with an ease that belies exactly how much I want him. “God, Bella, I want my cock in you so fucking bad?—”
His fingers slip inside of me, deeper, curling as his thumb finds my clit. I gasp, arching underneath him, and he thrusts his fingers hard, his lips grazing the shell of my ear. “Come for me, Bella,” he whispers, his voice low and throaty with need. “Come all over my hand. God, you’re so fucking wet; let me feel it, let me feel how much you need it?—”
I’m so close, on the verge of the pleasure I need so desperately, and I want to beg him for more. I want him to strip me bare in the grass, nothing between us but skin, to slide his cock into me and fuck me the way he’s fucking me with his fingers right now. The pleasure jolts through me, my muscles winding tight, and the intensity of it terrifies me, the need building until I grab for his wrist.
“Stop!” I gasp aloud, shaking my head. “Gabriel—stop?—”
He pulls his hand back, but it’s too late. I’m already too close, just the feeling of his fingers sliding out of me sending me toppling over the edge, my body seizing with a climax that feels hollow and empty with no sensation to carry me through it. My head falls back, a ragged moan spilling from my lips, and I feel Gabriel above me, hear him trying to catch his breath as he looks down at me.
When I open my eyes, he’s leaning back on his heels, looking away. His cock is a hard, thick ridge in his jeans, painfully aroused, and guilt washes over me. “Gabriel?—”
“Why did you make me stop?” He looks back at me, his face taut with confusion and frustrated arousal. “You want it as much as I do, Bella. I can feel how much you want it. You’re denying us both—why? Why wouldn’t you let me make you come? You—” He shakes his head, his jaw tightening, and I wince as I reach down to adjust my clothes, sliding away from him.
Every possible answer feels like a landmine, like it will open up a conversation too difficult to have. Conversations that will inevitably break my heart, when I already feel so fragile.
“You know why,” I whisper, and Gabriel looks back at me, his expression sharpening.
“No,” he says finally. “I don’t.”