Page 46 of Too Hostile
He just shrugs. “I knew from a young age I couldn’t depend on anyone else. So I just kept going, and when I finally graduated, I got a job almost immediately at the college. I bought my house two years later, and it needed a lot of work, but I didn’t care. It was mine.”
I smile sadly at that, tears pooling in my eyes because it’s all clicking into place now. “It was yours.”
He nods, and I see the hint of pride in his smile. “I worked some side jobs while teaching for a few years because I just wanted to feel safe. For the first time in my life, I felt really, truly safe. Like no one could take it away from me.”
“That’s why you’re so afraid to lose your job,” I say, knowing that’s it. And God, do I get it. As foster kids, we move around so much. All we want is security.
While other kids dream about a gaming system or new technology, we’re dreaming about a roof over our heads and a full belly where no one will hurt us or call us names. Where we’re safe and taken care of.
“You mean a lot to me, Fletcher.” His voice sounds so damn pained, and I reach up, my hand resting on his face.
“I get it. I really do. That house is yours. You made your escape, and it’s your sanctuary.”
“And the job pays for that house. And for me to never have to rely on another human again.”
My heart sinks because I know why it has to end with the summer. Why we absolutely cannot risk his job. This is everything to him, more so than most people. It’s a very tightly strung rope, keeping him from breaking.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say, moving my body up so I’m face-to-face with him, and then before he says anything else, I steal into his mouth. It’s all too damn raw. I think I’ve found my soulmate, believe it or not, I really truly do, and I have to let him go.
But not quite yet.
I have him for now, and I’m not going to waste it. I kiss him, and it doesn’t take long before the seriousness of the talk fades and our bodies start to respond. My dick is aching, my balls full and begging for release by the time he pushes me onto my back and climbs onto me.
“Ronan,” I say against his lips. “Please.”
I can feel him smiling against my mouth. “Please what?”
“I need you inside me,” I say it in a quiet, pleading rasp, and it’s enough to make him pull back and look down into my eyes.
“You really want that?”
“More than anything,” I say easily. I’ve wanted this for a long time, but something always held me back from actually asking for it. “Please,” I ask again.
He takes in a shaky breath, and for a moment, I think he’s going to tell me no. Maybe he’s not into anal. I know we haven’t really talked about it. My mind is spinning before he lowers his mouth to my ear. “I’ve thought about what it would be like to be inside you for so damn long.”
Relief goes through me at the sound of his words. “Are you going to find out? My ass really is spectacular.” I waggle my brows at him, trying to lighten the moment because this is heavy.
He chuckles at that and then presses a firm kiss to my lips that leaves my head swimming. “I don’t have any lube. Please tell me you thought ahead.”
I grin at him, pointing toward my bag. “I’m like a motherfucking Boy Scout.”
He grins back at me, and it’s so damn pretty. His smile just does it for me. Everything about Ronan just does it for me, if I’m honest. And yes, I know I’m in way over my head here. That the feelings I’m having aren’t going to magically go away from the summer and letting him inside me will likely just make it more difficult, but I need this.
It’s like a living breathing thing deep inside my soul. I have to give myself this. I need him to have this part of me.
He climbs off the bed after giving me another bone-melting kiss—it’s like he can’t get enough, and I’m totally okay with that. He grabs the lube and a condom from my bag but doesn’t walk back to me yet. He holds the condom up in a silent question.
Do we really need it?
I shake my head before he even opens his mouth. “I trust you.”
That seems to be good enough for him because he tosses it back in the bag and only brings the lube back with him. He doesn’t open it yet, though, just tosses it on the bed next to my head and climbs back onto my body, his hands holding my face as he kisses me hard.
There are a lot of things I want to say. That I think he’s the most impressive human I’ve ever met. That I’m sorry I was such a fuck-nugget in his class. That I’m so damn happy I met him.
But I don’t say any of it out loud. I like to think he hears them though as we kiss and rut together on the bed. His hard cock drags over mine making us both gasp and moan. We’re both leaking and hungry for it, but he doesn’t rush it.
I’m close to begging him again when he starts to slowly trail kisses down my jaw and neck to my nipples. He takes his time, licking and sucking, making me writhe and moan, my hips bucking upward, desperately seeking some friction on my cock.