Page 59 of Wild Fires

“Exactly.”

“I guess your office makes sense.”

She seemed uncharacteristically uncomfortable at the thought. And then it hit me. We were falling back into a comfort zone as if nothing had happened, but it had happened, and I didn't know how to go back after what I'd seen. And she didn't seem too pleased to be alone with me in the small confines of my office.

“Or we can do the firehouse and just not put actual names of suspects on the board if you'd rather not be alone with me.”

She gave me a confused look. “You're the one with that problem. Not me. We don't even have to work this case together if you’d rather.”

“Clarence pretty much ordered me to finish it out. He's a hard man to say no to.”

“He doesn't have to know.”

She was being defensive. I could see it on her face. I'd hurt her and that killed me to realize. I couldn't even look at her because of the guilt. It was too much.

Mate, my raven whined.

“Well, if you have everything sorted here, I'm going to grab some lunch. No point in asking you to join me because we both know you'll just say no. So if you want to work on the board, you can meet me in my office at two.”

My words came out much harsher than I planned, and I wouldn't blame her one bit if she didn't show.

Before she could respond, I turned and walked back to my car, got in, and drove away.

I couldn't bear the thought of rejection from her even though I knew that was exactly what I was doing to her.

The thing was, I wanted her so badly. It would be so easy to just pull her into my arms and kiss her the way I so desperately wanted to, but I couldn't get past the image of watching her die.

How many times had that happened to her? None of the men on her crew seemed surprised by it in the least. So I knew that wasn't the first time it had happened. Everyone seemed to know about it, everyone but me.

Why hadn't she thought to prepare me for something like that?

When I'd seen her die like that, I had wanted to die too, and that terrified me. It wasn't something I was just going to get over. I was still trying to process what I had seen.

I pulled up to the diner and forced myself to go inside.

Sitting at my normal table, I chose the chair with my back to the door. Gia didn't leave me waiting long before she slid into the seat across from me.

“How are you holding up?”

“I'm fine,” I snapped.

“Sure you are. And how's my new sister?”

I growled at her and scowled.

“Wow, touchy today. I'm used to that look from Eli but not you. Come on Ryan, talk to me.”

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“Seriously? You finding your true mate is just nothing to talk about?”

“Would you keep your voice down? The whole town will know about it at this rate, and there's nothing to know. It's over. I can't do it.”

She stared at me for a while before finally saying, “Bullshit.”

“What? I said there's nothing to talk about and I mean it.”

“So you haven’t seen her?”