Page 19 of The Substitute

Chapter Five

Derek

I’m a sodding bastard.

I don’t know what the fuck came over me. I have no right to be jealous or make any demands of her. I made a mistake ever putting my hands on her—I knew it as soon as I pulled out of her. Because all I wanted to do was turn her over, lift that arse in the air, and do it all over again.

I’m used to having control in every area of my life. Now, I suddenly can’t control the primal need I have for this woman I barely know. I can’t resist her.

I knew I had to get away from her yesterday.

It didn’t bloody help.

All I did was think about her. And then, in the evening, I drove myself mad thinking about her on a date with some other bloke, inviting him to her place, fucking him all night. I was as pissed off as I’ve ever been.

Then she came into the office this morning, looking fresh and gorgeous in that amazing red dress, and I wanted her all over again.

Until she told me she’d spent the night with the asshole. Then, I saw red, and it had nothing to do with that dress that just about brought me to my bloody knees.

She had a right to put me in my place. I was behaving like a child.

However, I admit that I feel better knowing no one else has touched her. But now I can’t help but wonder what she did last night.

“You’re an idiot,” I mutter and return to my desk. It’s better if she can’t stand me. I shouldn’t have fucked her in the first place. She’s better off staying away from me.

I’m shite at relationships. I don’t get close to people because the few times I have, it’s blown up on me. Maya shouldn’t be any different.

So, yeah, it’s best if she thinks I’m an asshole and ignores me for the rest of the month while doing the job I’m paying her for. Then, I never have to see her again.

But the thought of that is…unsettling. So, I ignore it and dive into work for the morning, grateful I have to be in court this afternoon.

My cell rings just before lunch, and I frown when I see my mum’s name on the screen.

“Hello, Mum.”

“Hello, darling. What time is it there?”

It’s been twenty-five years since she and Dad moved from Seattle; you’d think she’d have a better handle on the time difference by now.

“It’s almost noon, which means it’s dinnertime for you. What are you having?”

“Your father is taking me out for my birthday.”

I cringe and check the date. Fuck me, it is her birthday.

“Happy birthday, Mum. I was going to call you after lunch.” The lie rolls off my tongue easily.

“No, you weren’t, but that’s okay. It’s been a nice day. We’ll end it with some seafood for dinner. How are you, darling?” She knew I’d forget to call, so she called me to be sure I wished her a good day. That’s pretty typical for my mother.

“I’m fine. I’m glad you had a good day. How’s Dad?”

“Oh, he’s the same as always. He sends his love.”

“Give mine back to him. Have a good dinner, Mum.”

“Thank you. Talk soon.”

She hangs up, and I sigh as I set the phone down. That’s how every conversation has gone with my mother since I was a child.