Page 9 of The Air I Breathe
Then I won't have to think about the baby I lost.
B: Who's to say you won't fall in love with me?
I laugh loudly. My fingers race to the keyboard on my phone, typing faster than they normally do.
W: I don't believe in love as much as I used to, Blake. I just don't think I have it in me anymore. I gave everything I had...
I can't even type my ex’s name, and if I can't type his name then am I really getting over him?
B: I can give you everything I have as I feel it. I'm not intimidated by how popular you are, by how big of an artist you are, and by how people love you. I want to celebrate it with you, be a part of it—if you'll let me.
The ex never said these things. Never wanted to be a part of anything that could either put him in the spotlight or shine it any brighter on me. After the miscarriage, that all went to shit. Add on the fact I had the miscarriage during the pandemic, and it was a perfect storm. We were holding on by the tips of our fingers for longer than we should have, and I thought that he was my chance. I should've let go before I even got pregnant, but I definitely should've severed ties after we lost her.
W: We'll see, but I want to have fun, Blake. Can we do that?
B: We can do whatever you want. I'm down for whatever you’re down for. If one of us catches feelings, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it?
W: LMAO! Catches feelings like you catch a football?
B: That I'm never dropping, just like I'll never drop your heart.
I roll my eyes, even though he can't see it.
W: I gotta go get ready. I’ll have my PA send details for the suite. I'll see you tonight?
B: Only if you want to. It'd need to be after the show, right?
W: Yeah. As long as you don't care if I'm sweaty, I'd love to see you.
B: I'll be there. I can't wait to see the show again.
And I can't wait to see him, but I won't allow myself to admit that. Not after what I went through before. My heart's gotten me into trouble more times than I care to count, but there's one thing I know about myself; I'll never stop looking for love. I just have to heal first.
Chapter Seven
Blake
"Do you know where we're supposed to go?" Russell asks, as we navigate the crowd walking into Raymond James Stadium.
"No, but she sent me this ticket earlier, told me to walk up to will call and scan it." I tug my hat farther down on my head, doing my best to shade my eyes and appearance. A few people have eyed us off and on since we walked in, and I’m kinda not surprised. That’s what happens when you announce to the world that you want Willa’s phone number.
Russ beats on my back as we stand in line. "Someone gave me a bracelet, man!"
I sigh heavily. "That's what they do here. They give bracelets, they dance, and they sing along. Did you bring any bracelets to trade with?"
"No, I didn't even know it was a thing. I'm completely unprepared."
"Here." I hand him a couple of bracelets I purchased in anticipation of coming. "So if you see someone who's having a good time, or dressed up, or they give you one, you give them one back."
"I really like this vibe." He takes his hat off and turns it around backwards.
"You sure you wanna do that? People are going to know who we are." I lower my voice, ducking my head down further.
He and I are able to go out in crowds whenever we want to, but not when our faces are on full display—unless we're in Nashville. There, no one seems to care. Out-of-towners will ask for a picture and an autograph, and then they'll move on. I know that isn't the same experience for every NFL player, but I'm thankful it's the one we have.
"Oh, fuck it. We're having a good time tonight." He pops a piece of gum into his mouth.
The will-call line has finally moved enough so that we're the next ones. I flash the ticket on my phone that Willa sent me. The person working the line gives me a sly grin. "You're VIP. If you could come around to this side, we'll get you taken care of. You have a plus one?"