Page 54 of Vanishing Legacy
“That’s true, and Rocco is smitten with Cash and Penny both. When we’re together, he’s a fun guy, but being a father is more than that. It’s about being there for hard stuff and the mundane moments. The everyday things that make up a child’s life. A good father would be a constant presence and a leader for the family.”
“Yeah, so? Cash doesn’t seem to have a problem with that. Why do you?”
She’d sighed, knowing Noelle didn’t want to hear the ugly truth about how men only wanted to be the leader for the easy stuff. “Look, Cash is in the middle of a dangerous situation with the Madrina cartel. His life is in danger. Penny’s life is in danger. The last thing he needs right now is the added responsibility of a relationship.”
Noelle had shrugged. “Then again, maybe it’s exactly what he needs. Someone he can come home to each night. An adult who can share in the ups and downs of parenting and those mundane moments you mentioned.”
“Well, I don’t know if that someone is me.”
“Oh, c’mon, Alana. You have so much in common, right down to your experience parenting children with special needs.”
She’d given that one to Noelle. “It’s an emotional roller coaster all on its own. Over the last few days I’ve seen our connection goes beyond our parenting roles. We have a shared faith. We both believe a marriage should be built on the firm foundation that is God. That’s the only way a marriage could weather the storms.”
“See? You guys owe it to yourselves to at least consider it,” Noelle had said.
Alana had shaken her head and chastised herself for even considering it. “It’s too complicated. Too risky. Maybe Rocco isn’t missing a father figure in his life. Maybe he’s been missing me. We’ve been out of our routine. Spending too much time playing house with Penny and Cash is giving Rocco mixed signals. I should probably steer him away from the idea of me and Cash.”
Alana pulled her mind back to the moment. She’d been checking her mirrors, and so far, she wasn’t being followed.
When a natural pause in her conversation with Rocco presented itself, she pounced. “Hey, bud. What you said earlier about Cash.” She flicked her eyes to him in the mirror. “You wanna talk about that a bit more?”
Rocco looked up with a sort of deer-in-the-headlights look. They weren’t really the feelings type of people. Neither was used to talking about their emotions. “It’s important to have these conversations, even if we’re a little uncomfortable.”
Rocco fidgeted with the seatbelt. “Um, I guess so.”
“I know we’ve spent a lot of time at Penny’s house, and it hasn’t been a very fun spring break for you. I’m sorry about that.”
“No, it’s been the best spring break ever! Really, Mom.”
“I’m glad to hear you’re having fun. Normally I wouldn’t bring you to work with me, but you’ve had a special bond with Penny right from the start.”
“Yeah, it’s like…she’s the sister I’ve always wanted.”
Alana stiffened. That wasn’t the direction she wanted this conversation to go. “This is the first I’m hearing about a sister.”
“It’s not like you ever dated anyone long enough for it to be an option,” he said.
“Wait a second, mister. I am not dating Cash. He’s a client.”
“Oh, sure, Mom. I see the way he looks at you,” Rocco teased.
Alana suppressed a smile. “Don’t change the subject, young man. You blindsided me with that bit about wanting Cash to be your dad.”
“I know, I just...I really like Dr. Cash. He’s always nice to me, and he never treats me like a kid. And he’s always there for Penny, and you too, Mom. I guess it would be nice to have a dad.”
Alana’s heart ached at her son’s words. How long had he needed a father figure and never voiced it? Cash would be a great guy for Rocco to look up to and depend on. But even though she found herself wanting to spend more time with Cash, she didn’t know if she was ready for him to take on that kind of role in their lives.
“I know, sweetie. But you realize we don’t know Penny and Cash that well. It takes time to get to know people, and it’s only been a week.”
She flicked her eyes to the mirror. Rocco nodded, but she could see the disappointment in his eyes. “I know it hasn’t been long, Mom, but I haven’t had a dad for eleven years. How much longer am I supposed to wait?”
“Wow…um…that’s pretty heavy, Rocco. I don’t have an exact answer.” She gripped the steering wheel, trying to think of something that could make sense to someone so young. “These things are…complicated.”
“You’re just worried Dr. Cash will leave you the same way my dad did.”
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THURSDAY, 5:31 P.M.