Page 46 of Hunting Justice
Noelle couldn’t move as Jonah said goodbye to their friends. Her secret was out, and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Decia and Matt hadn’t looked down on her or made fun of her in any way. So that gave her hope.
“Are you doing okay?” Jonah slipped beside her onto the couch and laced his fingers with hers.
“I think so. It’s just weird that people know.” She stared at their joined hands. “I’ll admit, though, a weight has lifted.”
“Good. I’m glad. What would you like to do now? Dig into that last file or take a break?”
She considered his question. The sad expression on his face from earlier nagged at her. “I want to continue with Ken’s documents, but before that, I’d like to know what you saw that caused such a heart-wrenching reaction.”
Jonah’s face lost all color.
“Jonah? Talk to me.”
He closed his eyes, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “I’m responsible for my wife’s death.”
* * *
The sun seeped through the side windows that framed the front door. Jonah’s heart rate increased and his knee jiggled. After encouraging Noelle to share the past she’d hidden from her friends, he knew he’d have to fess up about the role he’d played in Cara’s death. But man, he didn’t want to admit his failure as a husband and a doctor, along with the guilt that continued to eat at him.
Noelle rested her other hand on top of their joined ones. “Jonah, it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. Forget I asked.”
“No. It’s fine.” Not really, but fair was fair. “One night, when I was running late at the hospital, Cara came to drag me away. Her words, not mine. We’d planned a date night, and I completely forgot about it. She showed up at the hospital in a dress and heels. The second I saw her, I knew what I’d done.”
“Was she mad?” Noelle shifted without losing contact and settled deeper into the cushions.
“Believe it or not, no. Sad. Maybe even a little hurt. But no, she never got mad when it came to my work. Being married to a doctor is hard. An ER doctor is even worse. The hours we work and the things we see…” His mind drifted to the horrors that he’d witnessed over the years. Gunshot wounds, domestic violence, household accidents, car accidents.
“I can’t imagine what it was like for either of you.”
He blinked away the images. “Cara deserves all the praise. She stuck by my side through it all and never truly complained.” He ran a hand through his hair. “But that night, instead of calling, she came to see me. My shift had ended a couple hours before she arrived, so as soon as I reassigned the patients, I left work.”
“Did she wait for you?”
He nodded. “We talked and decided to go home and have dinner delivered. I apologized for missing our date and promised her a quiet evening together.” He remembered the night like it’d happened yesterday. “I followed her home in my car. On the way, a truck crossed the yellow line and slammed into Cara.”
“Oh, Jonah.” Noelle’s eyes widened. “You witnessed the whole thing?”
“Yes. The sickening crunch of the collision will be with me for a lifetime.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I rushed to her vehicle and pried the door open. The front end of the car had crumpled in on her legs, and a jagged piece of metal had sliced into her upper thigh, severing her femoral artery.”
Noelle whimpered. With her law enforcement experience, Jonah presumed she knew the outcome of that particular injury.
“There I was, one of the best trauma doctors in the region, and I could do little to help my own wife. I put my phone on speaker and called 911. Blood poured from Cara. My training kicked in, and I fought to pinch off the artery to stop the flow. It took me too long to get my fingers inside the puncture. Her life literally drained from her before my eyes.”
“I’m so sorry, Jonah.” Tears trailed down Noelle’s cheeks. “But you have to know it’s not your fault.”
A sad smile tugged at his lips. “My head, yes. My heart, not so much. The worst thing about that night… Right before Cara died, she regained consciousness for a moment. Long enough to whisper I love you. Then she was gone. I failed her. More than anything, I feel guilty for not being the man she needed. Both as a husband and as the doctor she desperately needed in that moment. I wish I could go back and spend time with her. Go on dates. Take her to see the Northern Lights like she dreamed of. Love her like she deserved to be loved.”
Noelle wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. “You miss her, don’t you?”
“I do. But I said my goodbye a few years ago. It’s the guilt that hurts. That stays with me.” He closed his eyes and let the warmth of her embrace chase away the lingering memories.
A little while later, she eased back, her own tears drying on her face. “Thank you for telling me.”
He shrugged. “You’re easy to talk to.”
A genuine smile curved on her lips. “Back at ya.”
He drew in a breath. “Would you be opposed to putting aside our investigation into Ken’s wrongdoings and relaxing?” Jonah had hit his limit. The need to mentally regroup hung on him like a weighted blanket.