Page 32 of The Wedding Fake
In the months after Lawrence died, I floundered. My broken bones were healed up in a couple months, but even once I was cleared for work, I dragged my feet. My company needed a man they could trust with their lives, and I didn’t feel like that was me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever clear my head of the memories or the guilt.
Leaving Cranberry Falls was an easy decision, because as much as I loved my family, the memories here could drag me under so easily. How could I see Amy, Lawrence’s fiancée and high school sweetheart, and not feel like I was drowning in those memories once more? “I’ll think about it,” I mumbled noncommittally, staring down into the dark liquid.
Mom set the creamer down between us and sat. “Good,” she replied. “What else is new?”
“Hudson!” Dad’s voice was booming as he walked into the kitchen, and I was glad to turn away from Mom to offer him a greeting. I stood to hug him, hoping the distraction would offer a reprieve from Mom’s probing questions. Strong arms grabbed me up in a tight embrace that was every bit as comforting as Mom’s hug had been when I got to the house. I knew I was as strong as my old man nowadays—probably stronger—but Dad had a way of wrapping me up in a hug that made me feel like he was the strongest man in the world.
Emotion clogged my throat. If I went long enough without visiting, it was easier to forget how much I missed them. Together, like this, the desire to be closer to home was stronger than I remembered. “Glad to see you, Son.” He clapped me on the shoulder, grinning broadly.
“Happy to get a chance to stop by, Dad,” I replied honestly.
“You sticking around? I’m working on some cabinets for your mom’s sewing room. I’d love some help.”
When Claire had let me use her car this morning she’d said her sisters wanted her to go shopping, and she’d be busy all day. I hadn’t made plans, but I figured I’d stick around my parents’ place long enough to have dinner, at least. Sammie would join us, and though I’d spend the meal trying not to think about the chairs that remained permanently empty, it would be nice to be together. “I’ve got plenty of time and I’d love to help you,” I said, picking up my coffee. Mom’s interrogation would have to wait.
My father grinned, pulling out two travel mugs. One he filled, one he handed to me. I poured my steaming drink into the mug and put on its lid. “I’m going to use the bathroom and we’ll head on down,” Dad said, and I nodded.
“You’re sticking around for dinner?” Mom asked, the excitement clear in her voice. “Sammie will be by.”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I replied, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.
The act of creating something with my hands was always soothing. As a boy, I spent countless hours in the basement workshop with Dad, while Sammie and Lawrence preferred other activities. My father was also incredibly easy to talk to, and so I knew from the moment I walked downstairs I would ask him for advice about Claire. Still, it was more than two hours before I got up the nerve to bring up the real reason I found myself near Cranberry Falls.
“Did Mom mention why I was here?” I asked in one of the natural lulls that came while we were sanding.
“She mentioned you were having dinner with us,” Dad replied mildly, not looking up.
“No—I mean, I am having dinner tonight, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I came up here to go to a wedding with a girl.”
Dad still didn’t look up, but I hadn’t expected him to. One of the reasons my father was so much easier to talk to than my mother was that he was perfectly willing to wait and let the story trickle out naturally, while my mother seemed to be constantly pressing for details. “If you came all this way for a wedding, I’m surprised you didn’t bring her here. Is it because you don’t want her to get the third degree from your mom?” Dad looked up only to shoot me a grin, and I smiled back.
“No, although that’s a perk,” I joked, but my chuckle ended on a sigh. Things with Claire were so messed up, and I couldn’t get advice if I didn’t share the whole story. It was embarrassing, though, and I focused hard on the door I was sanding as I began. “We’re not dating, exactly. I came up here mostly as a favor to Claire.”
Dad chuckled. “Well, definitely don’t tell your mother that. It’s hard to get you up here, even for the holidays. I doubt she’d appreciate finding out you’re here as a favor for a girl.”
My eyebrow twitched. It was uncomfortable to talk about what happened with Claire, but it didn’t stick in my throat the way talking about Lawrence did. Surely my parents understood coming back to Cranberry Falls was agonizing, no matter how much I loved them. “It’s more than a favor. I really like this woman—Claire. Her name is Claire.”
Dad was quiet, not pressing for more information, not even looking up from where he was sanding next to me, and I resumed sanding as I spoke, filling the silence as he knew I would.
“She lives in my building, and I noticed her looks first, obviously, but I’ve been spending time with her, and I really like her.”
More silence, more sanding, until finally Dad spoke. “Is the problem that she does or does not feel similarly?” he asked mildly, still not looking up from his work.
“She does—er, she did, but she doesn’t anymore.”
Dad glanced up, only for a second, just long enough to read my expression. In my life, I’d tried a thousand times to couch my emotions and keep my face unreadable, a skill both Lawrence and Sammie possessed, but I’d never mastered the art, and my father knew it. Whatever emotion Dad saw there, his face revealed nothing, instead remaining impassive as he handed me a different grade sandpaper. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I didn’t, particularly, but I knew I couldn’t get advice if I wasn’t honest. “You know I used to make those videos online?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t have to go into too much detail to jog my father’s memory.
Dad grunted. “The ones for women?” he asked.
I nodded. In fairness, I made the first video on a bored whim while in quarantine and the reaction had been huge. It’d been a fun distraction from the grim realities of being a paramedic during a pandemic. My days had been dismal in a way I’d never experienced before, and I needed to blow off steam.
“Those would be the ones,” I muttered. “She didn’t know about them and when her sister showed her, she jumped to conclusions.”
“And what would those conclusions be?” Dad asked, squinting down at his sanding.
“She thinks I’m using it like a dating app, I assume,” I replied. I had never actually asked Claire about her assumptions, but it wasn’t hard to guess.