Page 39 of The Wedding Fake
I gasped, then pressed my fingers to my lips as if I could take the sound back. I hadn’t meant to turn to face Hudson, but there he was. His face was smooth and relaxed, much as it had been in those minutes right before he’d kissed me—not the fake kiss of a fake date, but the slow and sensuous kiss of a lover. He’d asked me on a date, and he’d run his fingers along my jaw, and I’d about melted in that moment. I blinked hard, refocusing, realizing I hadn’t seen Hudson relaxed like this since. The expression of peace and vulnerability currently on his face had disappeared the moment I confronted him about the stupid videos.
I didn’t blame him. Even if I knew I couldn’t be with Hudson, I could certainly empathize with how challenging it would be to get through a week staying with a big, somewhat hostile family without a single ally.
And as I lay, eyes trailing down the contours of Hudson’s face, I thought of Dan. Dan and I had been together for more than two years after I graduated college. I’d pictured walking down the aisle toward his smiling face and having babies that shared his bright blue eyes. I’d pictured our entire life, laid out in a perfect line from the day we met until forever—us holding hands on an old porch swing.
And then, on the most lovely, warm summer day, I got an email. The woman who sent it said she and Dan were soulmates. I didn’t believe in soulmates, but I believed in monogamy, and it didn’t take much digging to discover Dan hadn’t felt the same way. He’d been cheating on someone else when we met and cheating on me in the years since.
That was when I moved to the city. Found a new job and a new apartment. Dated. It had all felt hollow and empty, though. How was I ever supposed to trust anyone again?
Positive he was sleeping, I reached out and touched Hudson’s jaw with two gentle fingers. I’d wanted to trust Hud. Hell, I had trusted him after the elevator—had my feelings just been some sort of transference?
No. It was more than a bullshit psychological response to being saved by Hudson—I liked him. He was interesting and funny, and he surprised me. I thought back to his cutting skills this afternoon, which shouldn’t have been sexy, but they were, simply because he’d surprised me.
I sighed, indulging in one last lingering look and then rolling over to my other side. It didn’t matter if I liked him, because Dan taught me a valuable lesson. I couldn’t blindly trust a man who was posting thirst trap videos, no matter how much I liked him.
“I’ll come with you,” Hudson offered.
I shook my head. “To another fitting? You’ll be bored out of your mind. It’s okay.”
He frowned. “Didn’t your mom invite Grant to the last fitting?”
The man had a point. “I’m not sure if she invited him or if it was just a coincidence,” I replied.
He raised his brow as he shot me a grin, making it clear he thought Mom sent Grant to the dress shop. Realistically, he was probably right.
Then his brow fell, knitting thoughtfully. “Unless you want me to step back?” he asked cautiously, speaking in a way that was uncharacteristically slow and measured. “If keeping Grant away isn’t your priority anymore…”
I scowled. “Of course it is. I don’t like or trust Grant Dupree. Nothing has changed about that.” The only thing that had changed in the last few days was my ever-intensifying desire for Hudson, but he didn’t need to know that. I bent down, digging in my suitcase until I found my brand new black strapless bra. Hudson’s eyes fell on the scrap of lace, then lifted up and away quickly. My fingers tightened on the bra, tongue darting out to wet my lips. Why was he so damned sexy? “You should come,” I said, a hot blush burning my cheeks as I heard the words out loud. I spun back to face the closet, bending down and digging in my suitcase again as if looking for something else. I needed my cheeks to stop burning before I could look at him again.
“I’d like to,” he replied, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief he hadn’t said “come.” I didn’t think I could handle it.
“Then it’s settled,” I replied, pulling out the makeup bag I planned to use for the wedding and walking out of the room with it. Hudson certainly didn’t need to know I had no use for this makeup right now. I looked back, nodded once at him from the doorway, then walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.
For a few long minutes I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering how my life had gotten to this point. My baby sister was getting married while I remained single, lonely, and pretending to date a guy sure to break my heart given the opportunity. I sighed, swiping on a slightly darker lip gloss than I’d been wearing, figuring the tiny change would be enough to trick Hudson into believing I’d used the makeup bag I’d run in here with.
“Want me to drive?” Hudson asked as we walked outside.
“Sure.”
He slid into the driver’s seat with a surety I envied. I couldn’t remember a single instance of Hudson seeming frazzled, from the hours stuck in the elevator all the way to here, even with my mother’s repeated interrogations. He seemed to be possessed of an unflappable calm. “I bet you’re good at your job,” I said without thinking.
He shot me a questioning grin as he began to pull out of the driveway. I noticed he was pulling out in the correct direction without my intervention, and I assumed he knew where he was going. “What makes you say that?” he asked.
“I don’t know. You seem really calm all the time. I imagine that’s a good quality as a paramedic.”
“It helps, yeah.”
I grinned. “If it were me I’d probably arrive at every scene like, ‘Oh my god! You’re bleeding everywhere!’”
Hudson laughed. “I’m sure you’d be fine.”
My expression was skeptical, even though my lips remained curled in a smile. “Says the man who’s multiple times walked me back from full-on hyperventilation.”
He shrugged, smiling in return. “You do seem very prone to hyperventilation.”
“You said you were a firefighter/paramedic before. What’s that mean, exactly? Does the fire department call you when they need a paramedic?”
“Cranberry Falls is pretty small, so their firefighters were their primary paramedic service,” he explained. “I was a fireman, but I was also a trained paramedic, so most of my calls were in that capacity.”