Page 11 of Once Upon a Beast

“Layla,” he said softly.

“Don’t you Layla me.” I turned around and pointed my finger at him. “You were the one who didn’t talk to me, who didn’t return my calls. Who wouldn’t even look at me at school. You were my best friend one day and then I was nothing to you the next.”

“You know why I did that. You know it had to be done.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“No. No, it didn’t.” I shook my head and tilted my head back. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and I hated it. I thought I was over him; I thought I could come and see him and tell him all the things that I had waited years to say. Then, I could walk away with my head held high and never talk or think about him again. Instead, I was going to be stuck with him for the foreseeable future.

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said.

“What did you think you were doing? Doing me a favor?” I looked at him and blinked back the tears.

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

He sounded so dejected and I could see the hurt in his eyes. It took my breath away. I had thought the man hadn’t missed me, didn’t care about me, never wanted to have anything to do with me. I hadn’t wanted to believe all of that, but everything he had done told me he did. What if I had been wrong?

My first instinct was to go up to him and put my hand on his arms, tell him it was okay, and that he didn’t hurt me that much. I wanted to tell him I understood why he did it and that it didn’t matter now. The only problem was, I didn’t understand and it did matter.

“All I wanted was to be there for you, for my friend, for my best friend, and you shut me out. Do you have any idea how much that hurt me? How cruel that was?”

“Layla. I’m sorry. I didn’t see it as cruelty but as a kindness. You didn’t need to be associated with me. You needed to get as far away from me as you could. I never wanted any of this to touch you. You deserved better than that and I wanted to give it to you.” He walked toward me and I put my hands up and he stopped.

“The only thing I wanted, the only thing I thought I deserved was my friend. Apparently, you didn’t feel the same way.”

“I thought I was being a good friend by pushing you away. My life was a dumpster fire. I was a mess. I wasn’t good to anyone. I didn’t want anyone around me. You didn’t need to be a part of that. I didn’t want you to,” he said with a sad smile.

“That was for me to decide. I didn’t care what happened. I only wanted to be there for you. You’ve seen me at my worst and you stuck around. How is it that my baggage and my mess is okay for you to handle but I don’t get the same courtesy?”

Nic ran a frustrated hand over his face. “It wasn’t the same thing. No one hated you for what happened to your mother. No one was calling you names. No one was doing everything they could to make your life miserable.”

“Are you saying that I should feel lucky that my mother only died and wasn’t a criminal like your father?”

“It isn’t a competition.”

“Damn you, Nic. I didn’t mean it that way. I know it wasn’t. I just don’t see how you could be there for me in my darkest hour and I couldn’t be for you. It wasn’t fair.”

“None of it was fair. I only tried to do what I thought was best for you. I’m sorry if you don’t agree, but I don’t regret doing it. If I could go back, I would do the same thing. The only thing I cared about was protecting you and keeping you from having to deal with anything that I was.”

“That should have been my job. I could have taken some of the burden from you. I could have helped you out. You denied me that chance and I hated you for it.”

“Was that why you never talked to me until now?” The hurt was back in his eyes.

“You didn’t talk to me either,” I countered.

“Yeah. Well, I didn’t know how to. I thought about it once things calmed down. Even picked up the phone to call you a few times when I made my first billion. You were the first person I wanted to tell, to share it with, but I didn’t think I had the right to.”

“You could have tried. The worst I would have done was hung up on you,” I said.

Nic let out a self-conscious laugh. “That was what I was afraid of. If I didn’t contact you, I held onto the hope that maybe one day you would. If I didn’t find out that you didn’t want to be friends with me, maybe you might. If I didn’t know that you hated me, maybe it meant that you didn’t.”

I couldn’t help myself, I laughed. “Somehow that is the most messed up and yet logical thing I think you’ve ever said.”

Nic smiled at me and it lit up his whole face. His eyes got the slightest bit of gold in the corners when he did and the dimple on his left cheek appeared. My heart jumped at seeing it, and feelings I had long since tried to bury began to force their way to the surface. “What can I say, it’s a gift,” he said.

“Damn it. Why can’t I stay mad at you?” I paced around his living room.

“Because I’m too adorable and sweet to hate for any length of time,” Nic said.

“No, definitely not that,” I countered.