Page 22 of Once Upon a Star

Dr. Campbell, the head of the Emergency Room department, had been impressed with my work.

“Be proud of what you did today. You really stepped up and I couldn’t have done it without you. There is nothing like coming down from a heavy shift, but understand, you are going to crash and crash hard. Allow yourself. Sleep, rest, cry, eat bad food, do nothing. Whatever you need to do to be able to come back to work. In three days.”

I smiled and reassured him. “Thank you but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I can come back tomorrow.”

“You need the time to rest, to recuperate. We all do. It’s how we allow ourselves to be better doctors. You just started in this career. I don’t want you to burn out before you’ve even begun.”

“I don’t mind coming in. You’re short-staffed. I want to help.” I countered.

“We’ll be fine. We were able to get some per diem workers to cover. People I have worked with before and are excellent. Take your time off. I promise, I will be doing the same,” he had said.

“Three days is a long time; I can take two,” I suggested.

“No. Three is not a long time. You’ve been working non-stop the last three weeks. Go. That is an order.” As if to emphasize the point, he had pointed to the door and practically pushed me out of it.

As I stood outside the hospital, I tilted my head up and understood what Dr. Campbell meant by being on a high. I felt good, I felt invigorated, I felt invincible. I dropped my head down and reached for my phone and went to call Bash.

Before I could hit send, I stopped myself and took a shallow breath. When had he become the first person I wanted to talk to about my day? And why wasn’t I more upset about the idea?

We had been spending more time together. We were getting closer and I liked that we were. He hadn’t just been my boyfriend when we were younger, we had been like best friends. Ella and Layla were my true best friends, but Bash was a very close second.

I hadn’t realized how much I had missed Bash’s friendship until I had it back. And while we had never discussed what we were, I could feel us moving toward something more. Bash had said as much at McCarthy’s a few nights ago. I hadn’t known what to say to his admission so I hadn’t. I appreciated that he didn’t push me. But there was a part of me that wished he had. It was getting harder to be around him and just be his friend. His words told me that he had missed me, that he wanted us back, but he hadn’t made a move to do it. I wanted to think he was giving me time, but I thought he knew me well enough to know that I was a woman who liked action over anything else.

There were still unanswered questions and hurt between us. I could see he was open to discussing our past and the mistakes we both made. I was too. I just couldn’t decide if it was because I wanted to be able to find the closure Ella was so emphatic that I get, or if I wanted to believe Bash and I could have something like Layla wished.

I wasn’t sure if it really mattered. Bash had never talked about what he wanted for his future. He certainly never indicated that he wanted it to include me. He told me he was sorry and that he missed me but there had been no declarations of love or confessions of wanting to get me back.

He came to New York to do a play; he had never talked about staying. I didn’t want to get involved with him again if he was just going to leave. He had done it before; it was safer for me to assume that he was going to do it again.

Yet, he was a completely different man that I remembered. He was still cocky; he still had a look about him that said he was going to do whatever he wanted to do and damn the consequences. But there was a maturity to him that I had never seen before. It made me think that he had a plan but he wasn’t ready to share it with me yet. I was a little worried about what that plan might be. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I was a little excited to find out.

I put my phone away and walked away from the hospital. It was a gorgeous night and I decided I didn’t want to take the train back. I still thought about Bash but I could feel the adrenaline of the day starting to leave me. The idea of going home, having some leftover pizza with some wine, and watching a movie suddenly sounded like the perfect idea.

I immediately thought about calling Bash and seeing if he wanted to join me. I hadn’t yet invited him to my place and he hadn’t pushed to come over. McCarthy’s had become an unsaid neutral territory. It was a good safe place for us to hang out and I had been happy to have it, but I wanted more.

Would it be so bad if we went out to dinner? Went on an actual date? I wasn’t even sure if we had when we were younger. Would it be smart to? Was it just inevitable that we were going to end up in bed together? Was this what we both needed so we could move on with our lives? Was it what I needed so I could truly say good-bye to Bash and what we had?

I dated some when I was in college and medical school, but nothing had ever been serious. Was I holding back because I hadn’t let go of Bash? Was this my chance to do that? Would being with him give me the freedom I needed to hopefully find what Ella and Layla had found?

Would it be fair to do that to Bash? To use him that way? Could I even tell him that was what I wanted or what we should do? Was it too crazy of an idea to even contemplate? Or was it exactly what we needed?

I felt my phone ring in my purse and I smiled when I saw it was Bash calling. He seemed to have a sixth sense about knowing when I was thinking about him and when to call me. He also asked for and remembered my work schedule. I tried to do the same with his rehearsal schedule but it changed so frequently, he never could tell me for sure.

“Well, hello there. I was just thinking about you,” I said as I answered the phone.

“All good things and maybe a few bad ones, I hope,” Bash said.

I smiled and could feel myself blushing. Bash would always make little comments like that, which would make any woman think he was flirting with them. I had just thought it was his way. Flirting and teasing a woman came to him as easily as breathing. But that was before I allowed myself to think of him as anything more than my friend. What if he was flirting with me? What if he meant what he was saying?

“Possibly. That is for me to know and you to find out,” I teased back.

“Oh really? How do I get to find out these things?” he asked.

“What are your plans for the weekend? I have a few days off and I thought we could hang out. Maybe I could show you what New York is like other than how cool our bars are?” I suggested.

“Three days off? You have three days off?” Bash asked.

I could hear the shock in his voice. He knew how hard I worked and while they were good about giving us some time off, three days was unheard of.