Page 16 of Destructive Truths
Why is Liam safe? Did someone come for him, too? Maybe Donnacha went there before coming to the Ryan manor? Does Liam know where Rohan is?
The possibilities are endless, but I refuse to break first.
* * *
The sky turns a deeper shade of blue as night steals the day. The gravel beneath the tires crunches as Lorcan effortlessly glides his black Mercedes AMG GT through the nature-made tunnel of trees. Once we break through the clearing, the glow of the moonlight reflects off the lake, highlighting the two hidden hideouts.
Years have passed, yet the reminiscent feeling of happier times floods my veins. The core of who I am, and my most cherished memories are all forged on the edge of the age-old pier that connects the waterline to land. When I was a child, the cabins were my safe place, the only constant in an unstable life. Always on the move, shuffling from town to town, I lived for the familiarity this place never failed to deliver. Little had I known that beyond the trees, at the tip of the mountain, less than fifteen miles away, lived the past my mother was shielding me from.
The car lights illuminate the driveway as we round the front of the cabin toward the back of the property. The beams shoot enough glow to light up everything in front of us, including the tiny figure pacing up and down the back porch. Her arms wrap around her centre as she chews nervously on her bottom lip, but as soon as the car comes into full view, she bounds down the short four steps, rushing toward us.
She rips the passenger door open within seconds, then pulls me from the car and into her chest. “Oh my God, Saor.” I bury my nose in her chunky knit, and the familiar scent of freshly bloomed lavender assaults my senses. A cornucopia of emotion erupts beneath my skin, each fighting to be felt. My body stiffens in her grip as I process how I feel. Sure, I love her, and I am happy to see her safe and well. But I’m also hurt, angry, and confused. For almost two weeks, she’d vanished into thin fucking air, leaving me when I needed her most.
“I’m so glad you’re okay.” She steps back, clutching my shoulders as she does a slow perusal from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.
“Glad I’m okay?” I tear from her grasp, stepping back and creating space between us. A sad look washes across her face, but I am too wound up to care. She told me to run, knowing I’d land in Killybegs completely unprepared for what it was I’d find. She spent years shielding me from the information I’d need to survive this hellhole, then hid while I scrambled to find my footing. Fuck her.
Before I can stop myself, my arm raises, and my palm greets her cheek with an open-handed blow.
Her mouth falls open, and her eyes round.
“Saoirse,” Lorcan scolds, but I ignore him and keep my eyes trained on my mother.
“In the past twenty-four hours, a fucking psycho violated me—not once, but twice. He held me underwater as I fought for my life. Then, I shot him. A real human being—I shot someone. And after that, I found out the man I looked up to as a child is, in fact, my real father. All within the same fucking day!” I step closer as the words spewed from my mouth with disgust. “So, fuck you, and your pathetic ‘I’m glad you’re okay’!”
“Saoirse—”
“Save it, Éanna. I’ve had a rough day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed before it gets any worse.”
“Okay, honey.” She keeps her eyes on the ground. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
Turning on my heel I head for the cabin, hoping to God it hasn’t changed since the last time I was here.
TEN
SAOIRSE
Sleep eludes me.
I don’t know how long has passed, but it feels like hours since I began counting the knots in the large wooden support beams along the bedroom ceiling. My mind hops from one thing to another; my brain is so scrambled it can’t focus on one thought for more than a few seconds before the next grabs hold.
Finally, sitting upright in the bed, I haul myself against the headboard and assess the rest of my surroundings. Everything about this room is familiar, from the soft blush curtains and matching bedding to the faint musky scent of dampness from months—or in this case, years—of being left vacant. At least the bedsheets smell fresh. I’m guessing my mother washed them when she fled like a coward, leaving her only child to fend for herself.
Bitterness spirals around my heart, squeezing so tight it might shatter. It’s hard not to judge the woman who raised me, especially when I’m none the wiser about everything she and Lorcan expect of me. Maybe I should have heard her out when I arrived, but I wasn’t in the headspace to listen. I needed a little breathing room away from all the white noise, somewhere I could digest the past few weeks. But nothing seems to clear the fog.
When my mind is still reeling a couple hours later, I push back the duvet, slide off the double bed, and dig through the matching bedside locker for my old wind-up flashlight, feeling victorious when my fingers wrap around it, hidden at the back of the drawer.
Thankfully, my bedroom is on the ground floor at the back of the cabin, so I slip into my Nikes and escape out the window with one destination in mind. With each step, my feet sludge through the spongy grass, but I soon forget about dirtying my pristine trainers when a familiar sense of calm washes through me as the lake’s edge comes into view.
My feet greet the dock, and an audible creak echoes through the peaceful sky. The aged wood has seen better days—disintegrating at the edges and patched with slippery green moss—but I don’t let it deter me.
Watching my step, I creep towards the edge and lower myself to sit. Finally, I tilt my chin towards the purple sky, close my eyes and listen as the robins serenade the dawn’s arrival. For the first time in weeks, I allow myself to relax and lower my guard, feeling completely at one with the surrounding nature.
There is something magical about dangling your feet above the water as the wind tangles your hair that eases the soul like no other. Devin and I used to come out here to watch the sunset when we were kids. Back then, everything seemed so simple. I was just a normal girl hanging out with a cute boy, enjoying endless summer days.
But that was then. Now, everything’s changed—Devin, Lachie, Mam—everything I once knew is all gone. Changed, evolved into something unrecognisable. I’m grasping to hang on to a past that never really existed. Every memory I made was a perfect illusion.
Liam, Lorcan, Éanna.