Page 25 of Malevolent Hearts

Thankfully, Beibhinn isn’t the type of girl to let anyone have the upper hand, least of all me. Now that she knows there is a reason behind the countless names I call her, it will eat her alive wondering what that reason is. They say curiosity killed the cat, and that may be so, but it might just be the ticket I need to get something I want, something I can’t stop fantasising about—Beibhinn’s lips on mine. I don’t know when my feelings towards her shifted, but since the night she slept in my bed, all thoughts of her have consumed my every waking hour.

“What kind of deal?” she asks.

Spinning on my heel to face her, I step back into her space until she’s forced to retreat. Her spine collides with the bookshelf, and her eyes widen. Using our positions to my advantage, I cage her in, flattening my hands against the edge of the shelf behind her head. “I’ll tell you the deal with the nicknames if you”—I lower my mouth, leaving a hair’s breadth between our lips—“kiss me.”

Those two little words sound more like a dare than a barter, and in true Beibhinn fashion, she doesn’t back down. Her eyes narrow, lips twisting into a devious smirk that shoots straight to my dick. Seconds tick past as we stare into each other’s eyes, neither of us willing to make the move. It’s not the first time I’ve wished I could crawl into her head and decipher her thoughts. Instead, I’m left relying only on her body language, which gives nothing away.

Once again, my fingers gently tip her chin as my whisper brushes against her lips, my voice low and greedy. “What will it be, Pretty Poison?”

Without hesitation, she juts forward, and my hand falls to her throat. Her lips collide with mine, knocking the wind from my lungs. Her apple scent fills my nose, tongue sweeping along my lower lip, begging for entrance. I’d never deny her entry, even if I wanted to. My lips part, a low growl rumbles from my chest as I meet her needy strokes with a hunger of my own. My heart rattles against my chest and I lose myself in her, falling into a trap I’d stupidly set. I never expected it to feel like this—like someone placed a bomb in my chest, and I’m watching it count down the seconds, knowing there is nothing I can do to stop the inevitable. In all the words I’ve read, nothing comes close to describing this feeling. It’s then a voice at the back of my mind whispers… Haven’t you ever been in love before?

The thought has me ripping my lips from hers. Turning away, I bring my hands to my head and bury them in my hair as I fight to catch my breath. Finally, when I can no longer hear my heart beating in my eardrums, I toss my gaze over my shoulder and find Beibhinn touching her lips, seemingly as affected as I am.

When she realises I’m staring at her, she drops her hand and steels her features. “A deal is a deal. Time to pay up, Connelly.”

Knowing I need to defuse the stifling air around us, I raise a brow and shoot her a devilish smile. “One nickname for each of your personalities.”

And just like that, order is restored, and Beibhinn goes back to hating me.

Fourteen

Beibhinn

The Present

There are chords in the hearts of the most reckless which cannot be touched without emotion.

—Edgar Allan Poe

Broken-hearted, my tears bleed down my cheeks, marking my face with streaks of black mascara. My head falls back against the closed door, hoping to block out Cadden’s presence, but it’s useless, especially when everything in this room reminds me of him. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to contain the flood behind the dam before it completely erupts, but the pressure of my emotions are too strong, and eventually, my resolve shatters. From beneath me, my knees buckle as what little strength I have left departs. I can’t hold myself together for another second. Earlier, I’d been determined to keep a level head for my brother’s sake, but now that I am alone, I can let it all out.

I permit myself to break, and then, everything hits me at once. Losing Liam. Cadden’s betrayal. It’s all too much. Before I know it, my spine is slipping down the door until I’m sitting in a heap on the carpet, chest heaving with uncontrollable tears.

Through the door, I hear Cadden’s muffled pleas as he begs me to let him in, but I don’t respond, blocking him out with the violent crescendo of pain tearing me to pieces. Drawing my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around my legs and bury my face in the hollow my arms have created. Sobs rip my lungs apart until the only thing I can breathe in is the sharp knives of destruction that ferment the air.

In the space of a weekend, my life tilted and then flipped on its axis. How can I find gravity when there are no pieces of my world left to tether myself to?

I have no idea how long I sit there, face burrowed, purging the sorrow from my soul. But when I finally lift my head from the crook of my elbow, my gaze lands on a piece of paper wedged beneath the door. The edges sticking out just enough to retrieve it. I glare at it as though it’s on fire, knowing Cadden slipped it under the threshold for me to find. I should leave it there. Whatever he has to say, I don’t want to hear, or in this case see. So, why is it that my fingers tease the edge of the note, sliding it closer? I know the answer, even if I refuse to believe it.

Once it’s finally in my hand, the page feels heavier than it should. Air fills my lungs as I breathe in cautious breaths. Finally, I unfold the paper with shaky hands.

In a world full of roses, I fell in love with her thorns,

A beautiful phoenix from ashes reborn.

She wants me to leave her, she begged me to go,

But while she is on fire, she won’t be alone.

My eyes sting as I read over the poem he wrote. My tears continue to fall with a vengeance, because the one person who could help me get through the worst day of my life, could very well be the source of my pain. I want to believe he had nothing to do with the explosion, but how can I when every red flag points towards him?

For the longest time, I thought hating Cadden came naturally to me because, from our very first encounter, I always assumed we were destined to crash and burn. Just two kids with giant chips on their shoulders, forced to spend time together.

Then, somewhere along the way, the lines blurred, and the hate became nothing more than a mask we wore to disguise how we actually felt. We knew it was love, but we never called it what it was. We hid behind the cloak between us and the real world, shielding ourselves from the syndicate rules and what was expected of us. We played our roles so well, we almost believed it.

But lingering in every I hate you was a love so fucking rare, I once believed it was impossible to find, until I was there, in it with him. Behind every sneer was a stolen kiss. Beneath every insult was a craved touch. But above all else, he was mine, as I was his, two old souls loving each other with young, naive hearts.

Sure, we despised each other in the beginning, but somewhere during that first summer we spent together, we became the purest versions of ourselves. No matter how hard we tried, there was no denying we were irrevocably, unimaginably, and inevitably in love. Pushing myself off the floor, I pull myself to my feet. My bloodshot eyes glance around what was once my favourite place in the world—a place Cadden helped me decorate.