Page 41 of Malevolent Hearts
My gaze drops to her mouth, and I watch with eager eyes as her tongue sweeps out and wets her lower lip. Although the movie is still rolling in the background, the only sound I hear is the quickening of her breaths.
Fuck composure. I need her right now.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I lower my mouth to hers and follow the trail her tongue just made. The kiss is gentle at first—unsure and unsteady—but once she circles my neck with her arms and draws me closer, any hesitation ceases to exist.
Suddenly, we’re a mess of roaming hands, fumbling to undress each other as we lose ourselves in our deepening kiss. First to go is my shirt, followed by Beibhinn’s tee. Her hands fall to my belt, tugging at it until she eventually gets it loose enough for me to assist. The entire time, our lips never part, savouring every swipe of our tongues in the dance for dominance. With a little help from Beibhinn, I remove my trousers and kick them to the floor, then concentrate on unclasping her bra before tugging it down her arms in a frenzy.
Last to go are her skirt and thong. I tease my fingers around the lace, easing it down her legs and pulling it off the rest of the way. Every movement is chaotic, just like us.
When we’re finally naked, my eyes latch onto hers. I’m stunned by the emotion they reflect. “Are you sure about this?” I question, knowing once we cross this line, nothing will ever be the same.
Her response makes the whole world tilt on its axis. “Yes. I want it to be you. Only you, Cadden.”
Twenty-Three
Beibhinn
The Present
Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded…
—Edgar Allan Poe
“Are you sure about this, Beibhinn?” Rohan hovers behind me with his hands shoved into his pockets while I continue to load up Liam’s Mustang for my impromptu trip. “I can come with you. You don’t need to do this by yourself,” he insists, stepping closer.
Ignoring him, I pick up the two Jerry Cans of petrol and place them next to my hard-shell gun case and duffel bag.
“What’s your plan?” he continues. “Show up unannounced and hope you don’t get yourself killed? You’re smarter than that, B.”
Satisfied I have everything I might need, I slam the boot closed, and toss a glance over my shoulder that says it all. “Stop worrying, Rohan. It doesn’t suit your complexion.”
“For fuck’s sake. I’m allowed to be concerned. You’re walking into the unknown. Anything could happen.”
My eyes roll back as I round the car and pry open the driver’s door, ready to hit the road before it gets too late. There’s nothing more I can say to convince him I’ll be fine and don’t need a chaperone. Making this trip is something I need to do, and I need to do it alone. It was an executive decision that everyone agreed on—everyone but Rohan. For some reason, he thinks I need a chaperone, but I don’t. Once he stops fretting like a mother hen, he’ll realise it too. Monsters don’t hide in the shadows. They linger in the open, wearing masks while they inveigle their victims; there’s nothing to fear.
There’s a reason I want to traipse across the country and convince Seamus Murphy—the head of the Connacht syndicate—to help us avenge Liam’s death. I don’t feel whole in Killybegs, not anymore, not without my brother. This trip allows me to focus on what’s important—revenge.
Besides Lorcan Reilly, Seamus is our best shot at taking down my father and his accomplices: the current Leinster and Munster kings, Gabriel King and Finn Connelly.
Rohan may not like the plan, but the bottom line is we need Seamus to even the scales. His knowledge is critical, and without him, we’re well and truly fucked. Sure, I could be walking the plank, but that’s a worst-case scenario. For all we know, Seamus is the last piece of the puzzle we need.
I appreciate Rohan’s concern, I do, but I’m wasting daylight having this conversation with him, again. It will take me over two and a half hours to get to Kinvara, and it’s already dusk. I need to get on the road, but before I can lower myself into the seat, Rohan halts me by holding his arm out, blocking my path. “Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?”
“Because… you read into everything. I’ve told you what you need to know. After that, it doesn’t concern you.”
I hate omitting details and keeping secrets from him. But it has nothing to do with our current plan and everything to do with Cadden James Connelly.
All day long, he’s called and texted. Each attempt at communication more pathetic than the last. When it comes to our dynamic, I was never one for gossip. I’ve spent so long keeping our relationship—if you can even call it that—a secret that I don’t know how to talk about him with others. And now, the one person I would confide in is gone.
From over my shoulder, I spy Rohan’s eyes narrowing on me before roaming over me with a questioning stare.
What am I supposed to say?
The person I thought was the love of my life is responsible for my biggest loss. Maybe I should tell Rohan how my phone has been buzzing incessantly for the past hour with Snapchats I refuse to open, all from the villain in my love story. Would it be wise to let Rohan know it’s taking everything in me to ignore the irreparable gash in my heart caused by the person I would’ve once laid my life down for?
All of these scenarios make me weak, and that’s something I refuse to become.
I’ll deal with Cadden, but not yet. This trip is the perfect distraction. It allows me time to gather my shit before I have to face the dumpster fire that is my love life.