Page 31 of Fireline
Nova’s chest constricted. She could almost smell the cold. Hear the sound of water rushing in her ears. That helpless animal panic—the same panic she’d felt on that horse, fighting for her life.
“I managed to crawl back up, but I couldn’t lift myself out. Raelynn army-crawled out and was trying to pull me up when the whole sheet gave way.” He squeezed his eyes shut as if to block the images. “She had me almost out when it collapsed, taking her under. I used the broken shelf to get up, but she was too far down. By the time Dad got there, she…” His jaw hardened. “She’d been under too long.”
Nova watched muscles pulse along his stubbled jaw. Her own chest squeezed, recognizing the bottomless guilt and crushing helplessness.
Before she could stop herself, she covered his fist with her palm. “You were just a kid, Booth. It couldn’t be your fault.”
“Maybe if I’d waited for Dad…or run faster to get help”—his shoulder jerked—“I could have saved her instead of myself.”
“Did your dad blame you?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t spoken in five years, but not because of that. It’s the job, you know?”
Nova did know. It was easy to get wrapped up in fire season. The crew became your family. “What about your mom?”
“Mom works long hours as an attorney, and I have a younger brother in law school. They spend a lot of time together. Have more in common. Last time I spoke to my father we had an argument. He said I should just get over what happened to Raelynn.” Booth paused and Nova gave him time to finish. “I guess I don’t know how to forget what happened and stop second-guessing that day.”
Her next breath clogged hard in her chest. She gave his hand a fierce squeeze. “I know what it’s like to live with saving yourself while someone else dies. People think time heals the hurt, but all it does is turn it into a specter, and we have to live with that. It haunts us the rest of our lives.”
Blue eyes flashed understanding. “Yeah.” His whisper softened. “Yeah, it does.”
Their hands remained stacked. In a lot of ways, they were the same.
Nova hadn’t realized that, but it made sense now. They both hesitated to let people below the surface. To where the sorrow lived.
Nova swiped her thumb over his knuckles, wishing she could erase the old scars. Wishing she were bold enough to climb inside his vault of pain and help him heal.
She cleared the gravel from her throat. “Guilt eats us alive, even when there’s nothing we could have done differently.”
Booth turned his palm up to cradle hers. Calluses aligning in a broken mosaic. “No matter how far I go, I can’t seem to outrun my past mistakes.”
Nova nodded. Since the fire that had taken her family, she’d only operated in survival mode, caging her deepest longings, protecting her heart behind fortified walls.
But at that moment, sitting with Booth, the walls looked more like a self-imposed prison.
Booth’s thumb stroked tiny circles that sent a vibration up her arm.
A nicker snapped her gaze left. The brown mare bucked. Kicked her back feet and bucked again. The horse galloped toward them.
Nova’s breath seized.
Then she was falling backward.
Nova crashed against the sun-warmed cotton covering Booth’s chest. Muscled arms wrapped around her waist, bringing their faces inches apart.
Electricity arced in the airless space between them.
Towering over her, his soft blue eyes searched her face. “You okay?” A smile teased the edges of his mouth.
“Uh-huh.” Pulse tapping, Nova’s gaze drifted to his mouth, hovering close. Did he kiss as good as he smelled?
Whoa.
She blinked hard.
What was she thinking? Twenty-four hours ago, the man was driving her crazy.
Now, maybe a different kind of crazy.