Page 13 of Love on the Ice

“Denial, denial, deeeenialllllll.”

I’m unsure how I feel about that, but she’s right. I am in denial about how attracted I am to him. And I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. He’s my friend, and I’m his friend. We’re neighbors, nothing else.

I stay in my room for the rest of the day, only leaving my space to eat and use the bathroom, but before I tuck myself into bed for the night, I look through the blinds across the street. There’s no movement. They’re probably all sleeping or playing video games or whatever those guys do.

I’ve given myself forty-eight hours to wallow in self-pity, but Brooklynn is right. I need to get back to myself. I’m not usually this down and gloomy. I like to believe that if you always look at the positives, your world will be a better place, even when not-so-positive things happen.

So, instead of being full of self-doubt, I’m going to just be myself. It doesn’t matter that he will likely fall in love with one of my roommates, marry her, and have gorgeous children with her. I’ll probably end up alone because I am too self-conscious and have low confidence.

Gone is my sadness. It’s time for me to be me. That is that.

Turning my back to the house, I slip into bed and fall asleep with thoughts of Reid spinning inside my head. They are fantasies and nothing else—pure, unadulterated fantasies that I know won’t ever come true.

A girl can dream, though, and that is exactly what I do.

Dream.

I will dream until there is nothing left.

When I wake up, I let out a heavy sigh. I don’t feel rested, but I don’t care. I have a full day of classes and a shift down at the local hotel for maid service. I am only part time in the afternoons and evenings, but it pays decently, and that’s all I need.

Shuffling to the bathroom, I take a shower and wash my hair before I dress and leave for my long day. I make sure I have my work uniform and shoes in my bag. It’s a horrible uniform, but at least my clothes don’t have to get hotel funk on them.

When I leave the house, I don’t bother telling anyone goodbye. They’re all still asleep. Most of them are still in college but take late classes because they don’t want to get up early. I wish I could do that. I love sleep.

After locking up the house, I walk outside and pause at the sight in front of me. I watch as all the men across the street climb into their own vehicles and take off, one by one. Glancing down at my phone, I blink three times. They’re out of the house by six in the morning.

All of them.

Wow.

Chapter

Six

REID

There is silence in the rink. Coach Burns has expressed how goddamn thrilled he was with our victory. He’s also made it explicitly clear that we can’t get cocky because the team we play this week is undefeated.

We need to defeat them.

The only way we’re going to advance in our brackets and be able to compete in playoffs for the Calder Cup. Coach wants that cup, but not as bad as the rest of us want to earn it for him. I’m ready for some real victories and to secure my spot on this team for another year.

After watching the tapes, seeing where we could have done something different or better, we suit up and head out to the ice. I am ready to get this show on the road. Ready to put in the work.

I would rather skip the whole viewing-the-tapes shit and just practice. I crave to be on the ice for as long as possible every single day. I want to play the game. Being anywhere in the rink makes me fucking antsy to hear my skates slice through the ice.

I need it.

This is my fucking life. It’s my whole world.

Except, as I warm up, I can’t stop thinking about her, about Lorelai.

“Tillman,” the coach shouts.

Stopping, I turn my head, my eyes finding his. “What the fuck?” he barks.

“What?” I ask.