Page 15 of Love on the Ice
Failure.
I’ve never, not in the history of school, received an F in any subject, on any assignment, or on any test… ever. I passed the first three parts. This was the fourth and final section. I did not pass—not even close. With a score of fifty-five, I’m twenty points below passing.
How is this possible?
I know I wasn’t able to study the way I usually do, but honestly, I felt good about the test itself. I thought I knew at least eighty percent of the curriculum proficiently.
When class has been dismissed, I stand up and walk over to my professor. He’s only taught this section of the class just the past few weeks, and I don’t know him very well. As I approach his desk, he doesn’t say anything or even look up from whatever it is he’s writing.
Clearing my throat, I whisper an excuse me. He lifts his head slowly, his eyes finding mine when he does. He lets out a heavy sigh before he speaks as if my sheer presence annoys him.
“May I help you?”
“Yes, I… well, I’m not sure.”
He leans back in his chair, his face expressionless. He’s definitely not giving me anything. He’s also not making me feel good about myself or confident in any way whatsoever.
“What is it you’d like, Miss. Hollis?”
Chewing on my bottom lip, I gather my courage and speak. “I just, was there some kind of computer glitch or anything? Because…”
“You failed,” he states.
“I did, but I passed the first three parts with a ninety percent or higher, so it just doesn’t feel possible.”
Plus, I don’t tell him this, but I can’t afford to take this class again. I took these classes because I couldn’t afford to go to a four-year university. If I retake this course, my financial aid will probably pay for it again because I’ve never failed anything in my life. But I just can’t imagine that I actually failed this. I also have rent and food to pay for, which is going to be too much for me to be able to afford.
I really can’t afford to be in school any longer.
“There wasn’t a glitch, Miss. Hollis. All your other classmates passed.”
My brows snap together at his words. How? How did they all pass, and I didn’t? I’m not perfect. I’m not the smartest person on earth, but at the same time, I got A’s on the rest of the tests. I can’t imagine I would completely bomb this one.
I felt so good about it.
So confident.
“What did I do?” I ask, my lips trembling.
I’ve never cried like this before in public. I try not to even cry in private. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman, but right now, everything feels like far too much. This is too much. So, against my will, my lips tremble, and tears fill my eyes.
They don’t fall, though. I’m able to keep them from rolling down my cheeks, but only barely. Biting the inside of my cheek, I try to keep myself under control. As composed as possible. I’m failing, just like I failed that test.
“I might be able to take a look at your test and see what I can do.”
His words take me aback. My eyes widen, and my lips curve up into a smile. “I would really appreciate that so much. Oh my gosh, I would do anything.”
“I was hoping you would say that,” he says, and his voice shifts.
I don’t understand the tone he’s giving me. It’s almost syrupy, sweet, and acrid at the same time. Then, when my gaze connects with his, I understand exactly what he’s attempting to convey. I can honestly say I’ve never been in this situation before, and I stare at him like a deer caught in headlights.
“I’d love for you to show me exactly what anything entails.”
As I stare at him, completely and totally in shock, his smile grows wider. He likes that he has blindsided me and has shocked me at the same time. He’s getting off on this, and I am feeling very uncomfortable.
My breathing starts to speed up, and I can feel my skin heat. Sweat breaks out over my entire body as he stands to his feet. He takes one step, then another, around his desk, and my instincts kick in immediately.
Fight or flight.