Page 18 of Love on the Ice
She shakes her head a couple of times, but her gaze never leaves mine. “You’re crazy,” she laughs softly.
Honestly, she has no idea. I’m not crazy, but I absolutely don’t think a woman should ever feel the way she’s described she felt. That fuck was using a position of power in order to attempt to force her to do something. That is not right. Not even a little bit.
If I could make the whole interaction go away for her and be erased from her memory banks, I would.
“I’m not,” I state. “Not in the slightest. You’re beautiful, Lorelai.”
Her hand slips from mine, and she places it in her lap, her head tipping down as she does. I almost call out her name but decide against it, waiting for her to look up at me again. Eventually, she does just that. I can see the defeat in her gaze as her eyes search mine.
“I have to quit school for a while.”
“So?” I ask.
Her brows snap together. “So?” she asks. “You obviously don’t understand.”
I hum, but I don’t answer immediately. Partially because I don’t know what to say and partially because our food arrives, and I have no desire to fuck around with my lasagna. I love the food here with a passion.
“There’s no money left, Reid. I also don’t have anyone to give or loan me any. I’ll have to wait, and it’s the absolute last thing I want to do. Because I don’t think I’ll ever finish if I pump the brakes on it.”
Shaking my head, I almost laugh in her face. “Lore, I don’t even know you yet, but what I do know about you is that you are determined. You’ll finish that class, so the fuck what if you don’t pass and it takes you a year longer. Who cares?”
LORELAI
Who cares?
Nobody.
Nobody does.
He’s right. Nobody cares except me.
I’m pretty sure that comment was supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. Nobody cares if I succeed or fail. Not one single person but me. I’m the only one who will know, who will care.
Sure, my roommates want what’s best for me.
They are my friends, but they’re focused on their own accomplishments, which they should be. When I look back on this, I realize that this moment, the class, and the test are all just blips in my past, present, and future.
Chapter
Eight
LORELAI
The rest of dinner is fine, good even. I eat every single bite of food. It’s amazing. I even order a Tiramisu for dessert. It’s probably the best I’ve ever had in my entire life. When we leave, I am full and feeling better about the events of the day. It helps that Reid is distractingly handsome and funny, all rolled into a ball of perfection.
Against all my better judgment, I’ve fallen for him. Not that it takes much for me to fall for anyone. I don’t get male attention often, at least not male attention that I actually want. And I want his—all of his.
But I know my body’s and heart’s mistakes almost immediately after being dropped off after dinner. After I make my way up to my room, I stupidly look out my window in hopes of seeing him slip into his own house, a last glimpse of him, if you will.
I see him, all right. Reid is standing in the driveway where I left him—except he’s not alone. My heart sinks at the sight of him. He’s talking with Brooklynn. She’s gorgeous standing there, all legs and long hair. The glow from the streetlight looks ridiculously amazing all over her face, glimmering blonde hair and body.
They smile at one another. Then he laughs—and it's beautiful. My stomach twists. He reaches out and wraps his fingers around her bicep before his hand slowly slides down her arm. His fingers curl around her hand, and he squeezes it.
Without warning, tears stream down my face. I knew I was friend-zoned. I knew it. But here I am, crying like a baby because I wanted him. I wanted him to want me. What an idiot. Turning my back to them, I suck in a breath and hold it before I let it out slowly.
Well, that’s that. It’s clear that whatever delusions I had were stupid as hell. I knew they were when I imagined them to begin with, but I wanted… I just wanted to be wanted. I’ll probably never be desired, loved, or anything else. I’m just a friend. I’ll always be that.
When all the girls get married, I’ll be their bridesmaid. They’ll probably just hand me the bouquet at some point. I’ll watch all of them get married and have beautiful lives. Then I’ll be their kids’ aunt and live alone forever.