Page 53 of Tempting Devil

“We’d been so hardwired against disobedience that they didn’t even bother handcuffing or chaining us when we were being transported, which allowed me to make a run for it after I was able to free myself from the smashed van. I had no idea where I was, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get as far away from that van as possible. I was so fucking paranoid. So goddamn scared someone would find me and drag me back there. Every mile was torture, but I knew I couldn’t look back.”

“Like Orpheus,” Imogene remarked softly.

I laughed slightly, meeting her eyes. She was always fascinated by Greek Mythology, and the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice was one of her favorites. It was one of mine, too. A reminder of the perils of always looking behind you and never forward.

Wasn’t that what I was doing by carrying out this vendetta?

Wasn’t I looking back instead of ahead?

“I eventually stumbled on a cabin by a lake,” I continued, shaking off the thought. “With no shoes and only a ratty t-shirt and shorts to protect me from the elements, I wouldn’t survive the night if I didn’t break in. At that point, my sole focus was on surviving. Not long term, either. I was taking this minute by minute.

“Luckily, I found a key hidden in a fake rock by the front door, so I didn’t have to cause any damage. It’s funny,” I mused to myself. “I’d just spent four years killing to survive, yet I was worried about trespassing on someone’s property.”

“Because you didn’t lose your humanity.” She offered me a warm smile I didn’t deserve.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

She stopped walking, and I did the same. “It’s still in there.” She placed her hand on my chest. “In here. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have looked as distraught as you did this morning. You wouldn’t be standing here right now, telling me the truth.”

I shook my head, staring down at her in wonder. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“How do you keep your compassion after everything I did? I’ve killed people, Imogene.”

“I know better than most that sometimes you’re forced to do things you never thought you would in order to survive. That’s all you did.”

I pushed out a sigh and stepped out of her touch. “I wouldn’t judge me too kindly yet,” I said, continuing along the path.

She may have understood why I took the lives I did while in captivity. But the lives I’d taken since then?

They weren’t to survive.

They were out of vengeance, pure and simple. And I didn’t regret a single one.

“What happened once you found safety?” she asked after a few moments of silence as we walked along the bubbling brook.

“I didn’t want to stay there for too long. Just long enough to eat and clean up, maybe find some clothes. But as I walked into the living room, I caught sight of a mirror. It had been nearly four years since I’d seen my own reflection. At first, I thought I was staring at someone else. I was bigger, sure. But my face… They didn’t care if we were injured. I’d suffered a dislocated jaw. Broken nose. Missing teeth. Hell, I was still covered in blood from that night’s match. And it wasn’t my blood, either.

“That was when the reality of everything I’d been through finally hit me. It didn’t sink in when the guards tortured me in order to toughen me up for matches. Nor did it sink in the first time I entered that cage and had to kill in order to survive. But that moment, staring at my reflection with someone else’s blood staining my skin? It was all too much. All I wanted was to wash it off, as if that would erase what I’d been through. What I’d done. What I’d become.”

“Gideon, I…”

“So I took the longest shower I ever had,” I cut her off before she could offer me any more words of understanding or comfort. “It probably took a good twenty or thirty minutes before the water ran clear. Afterward, I rummaged through the closet and found some clothes. They were a little snug, but it was better than nothing. Then I…” I trailed off, swallowing hard as I glanced her way.

“Yes?” she prodded gently.

“Then I called you.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Imogene

My feet skidded to a sudden halt, my eyes widening as I gaped at Gideon. Samuel. Whoever the hell he was.

My thoughts were already a jumbled mess after everything he shared with me. But to learn I was the first phone call Samuel made when he was finally free? It was an even bigger punch to the gut than his claim that Liam shot him, something I still struggled to believe.

“When?” I asked in a shaky voice.