Page 82 of Sweet T

“Yeah, you’re right. It was. Let’s fix it. Can you scoot back farther on the bed, without pulling out?”

Tucker leaned up a bit. He pressed his massive arms into the mattress and pulled both of them into the middle of the bed. “Better?” he asked.

“Yes. Now, let’s roll over, but don’t pull out. On three.”

Even inexperienced, it seemed a strange request to Tucker. But every move they made felt good, at least.

“One. Two,” Evan said at equal intervals. “Three.”

They rolled over and now Tucker’s much larger frame was pushing Evan’s entire body into the mattress.

“Knees,” Evan said, muffled. “Doggy style.”

He pushed backward and up. Tucker followed suit, his head swimming with the sensation of Evan grinding back into him. He put his hands on Evan’s backside for leverage.

“OK, cowboy,” Evan said. “Giddyup.”

Tucker began a slow grind, and Evan bounced slightly to meet him. It felt good, but Tucker instinctively knew something was wrong. For one, he didn’t like not being able to see Evan’s face anymore. To compensate, he lifted Evan so that they were both on their knees upright. Holding him that way, Tucker reached around for Evan’s cock. It was limp.

He pulled out.

“What’s wrong?” Evan asked.

“I don’t know, but you’re not enjoying this... and I don’t like not being able to see your face.”

Tucker laid down on the bed, resting his head on the pillow.

“I’m sorry,” Evan said, turning, near tears. “I just wanted–I don’t know.”

“I can’t do this. Tell me what’s going on, Ev. I’ve already been with someone that didn’t communicate, a guy that tried his best to pretend what we were doing wasn’t really happening. I’m not doing that with you too. I may be inexperienced, but I know when things are off.”

“You’re right.” Evan laid beside Tucker, staring at the ceiling. “I’m selfish. I’m an asshole.”

Tucker rolled to face him. “No, you’re not. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

Seventeen

Evan looked at Tucker, saw his kind eyes, and the tears came. Instead of pointing north, his emotional compass was spinning, and he was pretty sure he knew why.

Tucker reached out and stroked his cheek, catching a tear with his thumb and wiping it away. “You can tell me anything, you know.”

Evan nodded. “First, I want to apologize... for ruining it–your first time.”

“You haven’t ruined anything. Your comfort is more important to me.”

“Remember when you said you were afraid of triggering me?”

“I do.”

“It’s kinda like that. Not you though. I think maybe I’ve had some baggage all along. Not much. Just–I don’t know–carry-on.”

“How so?”

“I was repressing it, I guess. But being out on that dirt road brought things back, front and center.”

“Shit. This is my fault.”

“No. No, it’s not. You’re what makes it bearable. I got it in my head that sex with you would vanquish it. To tell the truth, I was hoping you could literally fuck the memory out of me. I thought maybe if I had difficulty walking tomorrow because you rode me hard all night, it would cleanse me of the guy–Rick, or whatever his name is.”