Page 99 of Big Britches
“Well,” Pedro said, drawing the syllable out for mock-seriousness. “So much you wouldn’t believe. Where do I begin? Let me see… Tucker wants to form a club that is all boys, no girls allowed. Shelly thought she should be able to join this club because they’re friends. Tucker assured her they were friends but explained that sometimes boys must do things alone. So, he and she could only remain friends part of the time, when the club was not in session. Her feelings got hurt. Tears were near. So, I steered the conversation towards an impromptu game of Marco Polo, and we moved on from the drama.”
“You’ve been hanging out with the kids too much. I told you. It messes with your head.”
“I enjoy spending time with them. I do. But sometimes their conversation mirrors life so much it’s disconcerting.”
“Do you think Tucker’s gay?” Titus asked, unwrapping an enormous cheeseburger.
“He’s only four, T.”
“He’ll be five this year. But that’s not what I meant. I know most of that stuff comes with puberty. But sometimes I get early signals, you know–”
“Gaydar?”
“Is that what they call it?”
“Yes. I’ve just never weighed the notion regarding children. Makes sense though. I knew it myself at an early age, maybe eight or nine.”
“Really?”
“Well, not physically,” Pedro said, reaching for the fries. “But I knew something was going on inside–that I was different. I felt a pull towards some men I saw on television, especially the western shows my father watched. I didn’t respond to women that way at all.”
Titus nodded. “Yeah. Me too… a little later though, eleven or twelve—middle school, sixth grade, sports, locker rooms. I was always afraid someone might catch me stealing glances, or worse—getting a boner.”
“How did you avoid it later, like in high school?”
Titus took a big pull from his milkshake. His eyes lifted a bit with contemplation. “It was scarier in middle school because everything was so new then, the peer pressure, team sports, showers, testosterone. But once you’ve played with the same guys for a while—years, in my case—you become a family. After that, it’s weird to think about it in any kind of sexual context. I mean, there’s always curiosity–even straight guys look, and hard-ons happen. I just learned to keep my eyes level, avoiding the temptation to look down.”
“I’m not so good at that.”
“No.” Titus chuckled. “No, you’re not. But I’m glad. That’s what gave you away on your first day here.”
“In my defense, you’re sporting some large lumber down there. It’s a little distracting. You were also coming on to me pretty strong.”
“In my defense, you’re a beautiful man. I was stunned to discover you inside my gate, my world. All I could think was—how do I keep him here?”
Titus leaned in and they kissed. It was chaste, but lingering.
“Anyway, back to the original topic,” Pedro said, taking a sip from his shake. “I’m grateful for lunchtime. With you. I was ready for some adult contact.”
“I’m ready for that with you anytime.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Pedro blushed. “But yes, I’m up for that, too.”
“Whenever you want. But–” Titus’s smile waned. “–I need to tell you something first. I went to see Daddy.”
Pedro’s expression morphed from content to concern. “Is he OK?”
“Yes. He’s fine. In fact, he looked great.”
“Well, that’s good to hear.”
“Yeah. It’s just–” Titus, seeing Pedro’s kind eyes, could not stop tears from welling in his own. “I–”
“It’s OK.” Pedro reached for Titus’s hands and held them much the same way Titus had held his the day they met. He squeezed reassuringly. “What’s going on?”
Titus took a deep breath and exhaled. “I told Daddy I’d run for mayor.”
“Oh,” Pedro said, confused. “But I thought that was what he wanted.”