Page 40 of Something Forever
“I didn’t think we’d be sharing a bed,” I tell him, flashing the hem of my tiny shorts. “They’re here, don’t worry.”
“You knew we’d be sharing a room, wife,” he says.
“Can you stop calling me that?”
He grumbles and turns over, pulling the comforter up to his shoulders. “I think you are wildly overestimating my restraint when it comes to you and me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means seeing you in nothing but a skimpy t-shirt and those tiny shorts is doing very bad things to my imagination, love.”
I roll my eyes and shove him back to his side, but he grips his fingers around my wrist, his eyes boring into mine. I swallow, the sound echoing in the quiet room.
“Will you turn your light off, please?” I ask.
He releases my wrist and grumbles again, muttering under his breath. I swear I hear the words ‘last nerves’ as he turns the light off and lays against his pillow. Suppressing a giggle, I close my eyes and turn to face the wall. It’s quiet for a few moments, and I focus on the steady sound of his breaths as I try to fall asleep.
“Are you still awake?” I whisper.
No answer.
“Liam?”
“What?” he growls.
I sigh into the dark room. “Why didn’t you like me when we first met?” I whisper. “It seemed like right away I pissed you off somehow… you know, when you told me to fuck off.”
He doesn’t respond for so long I’m sure he’s not going to at all. I hear the sheets rustling from his side, so I turn to face him, but his back is still to me. I can see the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
“It’s something you said. Believe it or not, you sort of… triggered me. I know you didn’t mean to. It’s stupid.”
“What? What did I say?” I say to his back.
He sighs. “You said ‘I don’t know what your last roommate dealt with, but I won’t’ or something.”
“Oh,” I whisper. “Why?—”
“His name was Luke. We were roommates at uni and did our grad program together. He was… well, he was a better guy that I am, that’s for sure. Funny, smart, and just a genuinely good person. He was my best friend.”
The sadness in his voice shocks me. I’ve never heard him sound like this before, and I suddenly regret prying into his personal life.
“He killed himself six months ago.”
Oh God.
Sympathy floods me. I’ve been judging his surly attitude and bad mood since we met, but now that I know that he’s grieving… I feel awful.
“His death kind of… well, I’ve kind of fucked my life up. Can’t really blame it on Luke, to be fair. I just can’t help thinking that if he could see me now, he’d knock my teeth out for dropping out of school. Guess it doesn’t really matter.”
It’s quiet again.
“Sorry. I dunno why… anyway, I know you didn’t mean anything by it. Just kind of set me off, so I acted like a dick. Can we just forget about it?”
I clear my throat, moisture gathering in my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” The urge to reach out for him consumes me, but instead, I turn back over to my side, staring at the wall.
“S’alright,” he mumbles. “Thanks.”
I exhale on a shaky breath and blink back the tears that are forming. “Thank you for telling me.”