Page 59 of Tailwhip
I slide down from the deck and lay on the curve of the ramp, just looking up at the night sky. That’s when I hear footsteps heading my way. I sit up and see that Neha is heading right to me. “Did you come out here to call me an asshole again?”
Stopping right at the ramp and crossing her arms, she says, “That depends if you are going to act like one?”
I don’t even know what I did for her to call me an asshole, but I did something apparently. “Neha, I’m sorry if I was an asshole to you. This morning, I freaked out because I thought you and I messed around. I would NEVER do something like that to Nick…”
“Or Ashlynn,” Neha whispers.
My voice catches trying to say her name. “Or Ash…,” I have to look away, with my voice shaky. “Or Ashlynn,” I finally say, while wiping away a tear that slipped out.
She walks on the ramp and sits down next to me. We are both quiet when Neha asks me the one question I was hoping wouldn’t come up. “Anthony, what did you say to her? Why did you split with Ashlynn?”
I sit up and swing my head in her direction. “She didn’t talk to you about it?”
I get a quick head shake. “She won’t talk to me or Heath about it. Whenever we have brought it up, she shuts down and says she can’t talk about it.”
I lay back down, “I can’t either, Neha. I’m sorry. I have so much guilt for what I did. I already did something she told me not to do and texted her this morning. It’s still unread, so I guess it doesn’t matter.”
Neha takes a deep breath. “Anthony, you can’t keep doing this. You need to get yourself together because this isn’t you, drinking until you black out and taking random girls to your room. Get back to the Anthony she wants.”
I rest my elbows on my knees and think about what Neha just said–the Anthony she wants.
It’s been a few hours since Neha and I talked. I am still laying on my ramp trying to decipher the cryptic message she left me with. The Anthony she wants. Does that mean there is possible hope for me to get my girl back? I can’t face her with how I have been acting. Neha is right, this isn’t me, all the drinking I have done in the past month and a half, having parties at the house, and bringing random girls to my room. She’s also right that I need to get myself together and become a better version of myself before I can go after Ashlynn. She wouldn’t even recognize me or what I let myself become. Before I can think better of it, I make up my mind and send her another text message, because I for one know Joanna did not ruin us. I ruined us.
On the first weekend of the new year, we have a two-day competition to go to, down in Florida. This one is all street, no dirt. So, Clay and Grady don’t come, since they are strictly the dirt riders of the team. I ride on day two. I drop-in for my first run for street, and I am able to pull off a backflip, but on my next trick I case my back tire, crashing down the ramp. Getting back on deck, I start my second run. Once I drop-in for this one, I go and do a clean decade over the hip and once I come down on the landing, my chain breaks. I pick up my bike and walk off with my head down. I should have checked my chain before the start, but I figured my bike was fine and I was good to go. It doesn’t even make me angry that I didn’t make it in one of the top three spots. In fact, I feel nothing.
After the competition in Florida, I fly home for a week before the next one I have on my schedule. I don’t think about my riding I just did in Florida because Neha’s words keep repeating in my mind–the Anthony she wants. I want to call her and ask what she means by it, but deep down, I already know. Ashlynn still has feelings for me. It’s at that moment I decided to leave Greenville. Even if she decides not to take me back, I can at least make things right with her.
The only person I let know that I am leaving is Chase. He is not thrilled with my decision, but accepts it and agrees to pull me out of all upcoming competitions. I know I should tell my whole team and Nick about where I am going, but I need to be left alone to pull myself back together. I pack up my bags, throw my two bikes in the back of my truck, and get on the interstate to start on my 1,734-mile drive back to Colorado.
35
Ashlynn
Lost Track of Time – MTNS
Christmas and New Years came and went with no celebration this year. I spent the time alone with everyone going out of state. I didn’t even drive down to Colorado Springs to spend any time with my family. Neha went to Greenville with Nick, and Heath begged me numerous times to go home with him to Washington, DC. I felt bad saying no, but I wanted to be alone to think about everything that has happened since my accident. It’s been lonely to put it lightly, but I made a new year’s resolution to start working with the therapist Dr. Addison recommended to me while I was still at the hospital. The problem with spending so much time alone and thinking about everything is that the anger set in. So, needless to say, I have plenty to unload with Dr. Tucker.
Dr. Tucker has been amazing and helpful with my healing. Anytime I need to talk to her, she answers my calls. We even began a routine, that whenever I want to leave the house, I call her, and she stays on the phone with me while I go where I need to go, keeping conversation going while I walk. She told me that before I can tackle my feelings about what happened between Anthony and me, I need to get over my fear of going out on my own. She gives me little things to do each week: walk to the end of the block, walk two blocks over, or walk around the block. So far, I feel comfortable doing that and am starting to feel better each day since I started talking to Dr. Tucker at the beginning of January. Today is the biggest step yet, as I am driving to the airport to get Heath! I am happy to have him come home; I have missed my friend. I texted him to let him know to not get an Uber, because I will be there to get him.
I make it to the airport right as Heath calls me to let me know that he is waiting in the arrivals area. I pull up and spot him right away. I park the truck and jump out to hug my friend. He lifts me off the ground in a big hug. “Ashlynn, I can’t believe you are here! I am so proud of the strives you have made!”
He sets me back on my feet and I pull back from our hug with a smile on my face, “I know; isn’t it crazy!”
Right then, a stranger chimes in. “Is what crazy?”
I look over and give a dirty look, with how rude it is for this person to listen to Heath and me. Heath bursts out laughing and swings his arm over the guy’s shoulder. “Ashlynn, this is my brother Landon. He wanted to come spend some time in Colorado with me.”
Now that Heath said his brother, I can see the resemblance. Both have the same black hair, olive skin tone, but where Heath has the lightest green eyes, his brother Landon has gray eyes. I look over at Landon with a shy smile. “Sorry for the dirty look, I’m Ashlynn.”
He just chuckles at me. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Ashlynn. It’s nice to meet you!” After the awkward introduction, we are off.
Since I have both Heath and Landon with me, we decided to have dinner while still in Denver. “So, what have you been up to since Neha and I were gone?” Heath asks me right as I take a bite of my burger.
I hold my finger up while I finish chewing my food. “Not much, really, just working with Dr. Tucker on everything. I am almost up to walking to your house!” I tell Heath with a proud smile on my face.
“Are you like a hermit or something?” Landon asks me.
“No, I am not a hermit, I just um…” I trail off, not sure how to say it to a stranger.