Page 116 of Sweet Madness
My eyes glisten with unshed tears. “But what if my most precious dream is him?” I choke out.
Uncle Benji’s gaze softens with a touch of sadness as he looks at me.
“You’re breaking my heart, little lady.” Uncle Benji wipes a tear from his own eye, and that makes me feel worse. More tears fall from my eyes, and I try my best to stop them, but it’s futile. It just hurts too damn much.
He leans forward in his seat and grabs my hand, pulling me toward him. He lifts my chin when I try to look away. “You don’t let this break you, you hear me? It’s going to hurt today and tomorrow and even a month from now, but one day you’ll wake up and it’ll hurt a little less.” I hiccup, my tears choking me. Uncle Benji wipes them away and continues, “I love you, my girl. Your family loves you. Let us carry you through this and don’t shut us out. What is meant to be will be, right? Trust your lucky stars.”
I bite my lip to keep from crying at my uncle’s beautiful words.
My lucky stars…
I’ve been obsessed with them since I was a child, and maybe my lucky stars have always been them—the people I love and who love me.
My gaze drifts momentarily from Uncle Benji to my twin brothers, Kyrin and Kael. I can’t help but notice the stark contrast in their expressions, reflecting their individual reactions to my heartbreak.
Kyrin, with his gentle features that mirror our mother’s, meets my eyes with a look that tells me he hates what I’m going through. Although there is anger in his gaze, I also see love. Out of the two of them, Kyrin is the one who is less angry and more extroverted.
On the other hand, Kael, who takes after Dad and Royal with his strong jawline and harsh blue eyes, sits beside Kyrin with a furrowed brow and a palpable anger radiating from him. I know it’s not directed at me but rather at the situation. His jaw is clenched, his hands grip the armrests tightly. That’s how Kael shows he cares. Out of all my brothers, he is the one who keeps mostly to himself, but I also know he feels the deepest.
While Kyrin’s compassion offers me solace and tells me I’m not alone in my pain, Kael’s anger reassures me that I am fiercely loved and defended by my family, especially in moments of deep sorrow and heartbreak.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my aching heart and dry my tears. I don’t know what the future holds—whether my beautiful man will get his head out of his butt and come after me or if this departure marks the end of our story. But I do know something: I have myself.
I found my voice in Montana, and I’m never losing myself again, not even for him. So, with my heart still bleeding, I raise my head and look out the window as I say goodbye to a place that brought me so much joy and hope it’s not the last time I’m here. Because I choose to believe that, like in every good romance story, this is not the end and that happily ever after is not that far away.
Space Note
“Ella, did you know that the brightest star in our sky is Sirius and it is also the brightest star in the constellation of Canis Major, the big dog.” — S
Chapter
Thirty-Three
COSMIC LOVE
Shaw
“Tell her I haven’t forgotten her.
Tell her I’m not the same without her here.” – E
Several months later
The sun dips low on the Montana horizon, casting long shadows across the sprawling ranch. I stand at the edge of the fence line, my hands gripping the wood of the fence post. The air is heavy with the scent of hay and dust, mingling with the distant calls of cattle and the soft knickers of horses in the pasture.
Turning my head to the right, I fix my gaze on the tulip field. I hear her laughter when I close my eyes, the wind carrying her lovely melody that haunts me. Sometimes, I think I see her dancing with her head thrown back, her curls blowing in the wind while the sun falls on her face.
The image of her riding atop Geraldine through my land follows me even in my sleep. Not even the long month can erase her memory from my ranch and from my heart.
I feel her everywhere like a beautiful fucking ghost, and I crave it. Every time I close my eyes, I hope to see her. It’s when I open them and face reality that it’s cruel.
Summer has long gone, giving way to autumn, and still, regret consumes me while the grief of the sweetest love I’ve ever known keeps my head underwater. The air barely reaches my lungs most days.
Everything feels lifeless at the ranch. Even the horses seem depressed, as if they too grieve the loss of the girl with a smile that could light up the world. What I thought was a selfless action has turned into my hell. I let Ella slip away, unable to hold on to the love we once shared. My heart aches with every beat, replaying the scene where she walked away, tears glistening in her pretty eyes. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret it or curse my fucking insecurities.
For the broken promises and words left unsaid.
With each nail I angrily drive into the fence, I think of everything I could’ve done differently. I could have held onto her tighter. I could have told her father to fuck off and shown him that no one was meant for his daughter but me.