Page 23 of Sweet Madness
“You’re going to be my guard?” She tilts her small head and I watch all those dark curls bounce with the move. “Uncle Benji says you are.”
“That’s right, Ella—” Her eyes narrow comically, and I try not to laugh. “Ella.”
“Magical!” She jumps up and down, causing my cousin to laugh and making my chest feel light. “We friends now, Shaw Bear.”
“Shaw Bear?” I frown at the curious nickname.
She nods once. “Yes, Shaw Bear.” Ella points toward her stuffed bear and smiles. “You look like Mr. Happy!”
Mr. Happy.
Her favorite stuffed toy from what I’ve heard from Ben.
“Friends?” The little girl repeats herself, her expression now tinged with worry, yet her kind smile remains firmly in place.
Then she does something most adults never do.
The tiny girl with stars in her blue eyes extends her small chocolate-covered hand my way and offers me her friendship and, with it, her small sweetheart.
I take her hand in mine, not caring at all that mine is now covered in chocolate and frosting because this tiny girl does what no one has ever dared or succeeded before. Ellaiza Kenton melts my heart that night, and for a year, she is the best friend I ever had.
She makes my job at the White House easy.
She illuminates everyone’s dark skies.
Especially mine.
Now
It’s the late afternoon, and I’m in the stables, getting my Appaloosa horse, Peppermint, back after a long ride around my land. Even after the ride under the sunny skies and breathing in fresh air, my mind is still a mess, and my chest still feels like there’s a big hole in it, sucking all the air. “Fuck, boy.” I pet my horse’s long mane gently. Peppermint was my mother’s favorite horse, and he’s also the first horse I ever rode.
I’m the only one who gets to be this close to him. Not even Phoenix, who is the favorite human of the other horses, gets this close. Not Peppermint.
My perceptive horse sighs as if he understands me. Sometimes I truly believe he does.
“I think I fucked up.” I breathe out as I stare into Peppermint’s dark eyes. “I’m an asshole.”
The sarcastic-as-fuck animal nickers while I let out a deep breath. Ellaiza’s sad face flashes through my mind, and it feels like a punch to the gut. Why? Why do I care if I hurt the girl’s feelings? I’ve never cared before if I made anyone feel like shit.
Then her lovely face flashes in my mind again, but this time she’s no longer sad—she’s mad. Really fucking mad. Mad and disappointed.
And me? Well… I don’t even fucking know anymore. I’m annoyed and angry. Not at her. Not mostly.
I’ve been alone for so long, alone and empty, that now, in a matter of a days—or shit, in a matter of hours—I’m feeling things I haven’t since life taught me just how stupid it is to care.
My back pocket starts to buzz. I pull out my phone and check who’s calling.
“Not this again,” I mumble as I watch the phone ring without answering.
This is the third call today that I’ve ignored.
When I agreed to guard the girl’s life, I made it clear that I would only deal with my cousin, not the Kentons. The former president has made his feelings about me clear since the very first day I started working for him so long ago.
I don’t measure up.
I’m not good enough in his eyes for him and his picture-perfect family.
I know I don’t bleed American royal blood like they do, but I won’t stand for anyone making me feel like shit. I might not be American royalty or filthy rich, but I’m a good fucking man. I’ve worked hard for everything I have, yet Sebastian Kenton still makes me feel like that punk eighteen-year-old kid again.