Page 27 of Sweet Madness

It’s been a whole day since I last saw the grump who has taken permanent residence in my head. Part of me is still mad at him for the harsh way he spoke to me, but honestly, I’m more embarrassed than angry.

I know I shouldn’t take it personally. He’s right. I’m not his friend; I’m just his client, and I need to come to terms with that, even though it hurts my heart. I had hoped we could at least be friends, but he doesn’t see me that way anymore, and we’re not who we once were.

Time has passed, and the bond we created during that year of my life is no longer there.

Was it ever?

“Scared?” I sign at the same time I speak out loud. “Why would a six-foot-four man who looks like the god of thunder himself if he had a ranch in Montana be afraid of me?” That can’t possibly be it. The Shaw Banning I knew back then was fearless—fearless and strong as an entire army. I don’t think time has changed that.

“Ella,” my cousin signs at the same time she presses her gorgeous face to her computer screen, taking over my entire screen. I laugh at that.

“Low…”

“Remember what my dad always says?” She raises a thin eyebrow.

Uncle Riagan says many things. Some things are hilariously crude, some sweet and inspiring, but most of what my uncle says comes from a place of love. Always.

Leaning back in my seat, I let out a deep breath, feeling defeated. “I don’t think that’s the case here, Low.”

“Even grown men are afraid of wild hearts.” Willow smiles softly as she signs the words her father once told us when my other cousin, Raiza, asked if he was afraid of anything in this world. Willow’s dad had said that the only person he feared in this world was my Aunt Mila. He had explained that she was the only person who could ever hurt him.

Could it be true?

Is Shaw Banning afraid of me?

“Perhaps he’s afraid of what you represent…” A thought suddenly pops into my head, taking me by surprise. Is that why he was so dismissive and angry yesterday? Or maybe I’m just reading too much into it.

Maybe I’m just a silly girl… wanting to think that it is more than what it really is.

A movement on my screen snaps me out of my thoughts, and I focus on my cousin once again. My heart feels heavy now, but for a different reason. As I glance at Willow, I notice the sadness in her eyes, and then I see the dark circles underneath them.

“Is it the kids at school again?” I whisper, but I sign for her as well.

She shrugs.

So, it is the stupid kids again.

Dammit.

She won’t tell Uncle Riagan or Aunt Mila. This is the third school they’ve transferred her to in less than two years, and the last time it happened, Uncle Riagan threatened to visit every kid who had ever hurt his little girl’s heart, while Aunt Mila suggested homeschooling. I know my cousin, and she worries too much—maybe even more than I do.

I need to do something, but what? How do I tell her parents without making her feel like I didn’t respect her choice? She’s an only child and has only her parents in Philadelphia. She has no one to have her back while in school. I had my siblings to help me get through the hard teenage years. Raiza has her brother, Azariel, but not Willow. She had her foster brother for a while, but that didn’t end well.

So, until I find a way to help, I’ll do what she does for me. I’ll be her safe place.

“You know your voice is as beautiful as you, Low. There’s no one, and there’ll never be anyone quite like you.” I hope my words make her feel better. I’ve never felt hatred before, not even towards people who have hurt me or my family, because I believe in forgiveness. But lately, with Willow, I can’t seem to shake off the anger I feel towards the world we live in—a world where people with rarity are mocked and hurt instead of celebrated. My cousin is perfect as she is. She’s smart, funny, sweet, but most of all… Willow is a rare soul. A kind one who has so much love in her heart, not only for her people but for those who don’t have anyone to love them.

You see… Willow loves broken things. She doesn’t love them because she’s obsessed with fixing them, no. She finds beauty in people, things, and animals that aren’t perfect. She’s that sweet. So, it hurts me. It hurts me and angers me how someone can be so cruel as to mock her for something she has no control over.

My aunt Mila had complications during childbirth. The air wasn’t reaching Willow and they had to do an emergency C-section. The lack of air and the trauma contributed to hearing loss. She uses cochlear implants and is able to detect and understand sounds.

Still, she believes her voice is ugly after a bad experience at school with a bully.

Anger simmers in my belly, but I breathe through it and try to calm myself, not wanting to worry her.

My eyes catch the white and red poster on her wall. A poster of her favorite F1 driver, someone my little cousin once cared a lot for. I guess that’s why Willow and I gravitate towards each other more than my siblings and a bit more than with Raiza.

We both know what unrequited love feels like.