Page 47 of Sweet Madness
As I return my focus to the present, I realize how my time here has slowly but surely shaped my perspective on what happiness really means. Once, I thought happiness meant finding love and being with your family, but happiness is also about finding your way in life and what gives you purpose. And here, I’m starting to get a taste of it. One sweet and gentle moment shared with Shaw Banning at a time.
Professor Kelly calls on another student and asks him a question he doesn’t know the answer to. When the professor notices, she doesn’t humiliate him for it, and that’s when I’m sure our professor is in it for the love of teaching and the cosmos.
My concentration on the lecture is interrupted by the familiar chime of a video call. Glancing at the notification, I see the names “Willow” and “Raiza” lighting up the screen. With a smile tugging at my lips, I quickly mute the lecture’s app microphone and accept their conference call from my little cousins.
“Hey, you two!” I greet my cousins warmly as their pretty faces appear on the screen. Raiza, my younger cousin from Aunt Kadra and uncle Vitali, is the spitting image of her mother. She has long, brown hair that cascades down her shoulders in soft waves, almond-shaped eyes that hold a hint of mystery, and she always appears exotic and otherworldly beautiful at just sixteen. While my aunt and uncle are quieter and more reserved, Raiza is extroverted, funny, and charismatic—a total contrast to the Solonik family.
“Ella,” Raiza exclaims, pressing her gorgeous face to the screen with a relieved expression. “Good, you seem fine and breathing. There are a bunch of conspiracy theories about your disappearance from the public eye, and Papa wouldn’t tell me what was going on! Until I had enough of the secrecy and threatened to marry one of the Sandoval boys—that did the trick. Papa sang like a parrot.” Raiza immediately starts talking animatedly while using sign language, as we always do when communicating, while Willow, always more reserved, smiles shyly and waves.
“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes, Rai,” I remark.
She rolls her eyes dramatically. “Oh, who cares. You understood me, right?”
I laugh at that. “I am fine, as you can see. I’m sorry if I worried you.”
A brief look of sadness crosses her face before she masks it with her perfect, blinding smile.
Although Raiza is the light in a family that typically wears all black and prefers to go out at night like vampires, she does share many traits with them. One specific trait that the entire Solonik family shares is difficulty expressing their feelings as easily as mine and Willow’s family does. Aunt Kadra, Uncle Vitali, and Raiza’s older brother, Azariel, mask their feelings with threats and rough exteriors, while Raiza hides behind humor and avoidance.
Something she does next.
Never wanting to push her or any of my cousins or siblings, I simply let them be themselves around me, something I hadn’t done in a while because I had hidden my troubles and fears from them to spare them worries and sadness. They’re younger than me, and they shouldn’t worry about my issues.
So, as she talks about the days I have missed, I listen intently, my heart warming at the sight of their sweet faces. I love my cousins dearly and consider them as much sisters as Ambrose, Haven, and Everly. Despite the distance between us, moments like these remind me of the tight-knit bond we share as family.
We grew up surrounded by love and protection.
Something our mothers didn’t have at our age. Their childhood was marred by sadness and heartbreak. Mom doesn’t like to speak to us about the darker side of her past, but I know that she and my aunts endured a terrible upbringing. Their father used to hurt them all until Aunt Kadra decided to put an end to his abuse and end their suffering by helping Mom and Aunt Mila find happiness, which eventually led to them meeting my father and Uncle Riagan. Aunt Kadra found her happiness in my Uncle Vitali and his son, Azariel. Mom says they were the ones who brought my aunt back to life.
Despite their life stories beginning with blood and tears, they conquered the villain and found their happy ending.
Our family is the reason why I believe in happy endings and why I believe that love and acceptance can save someone’s life, bringing them back to life.
“Guess what,” Raiza exclaims suddenly, breaking through my thoughts. “Azariel got me the best present ever for our Sunday tea party. Meet Narcizo.” Through the iPad screen, I watch Raiza’s face glow with excitement as she cradles a baby panther swathed in a rich, blood-red sheet. The small panther’s sleek fur contrasts beautifully against the vibrant fabric, and around its neck gleams a diamond-studded collar adorned with the letter “N.” Raiza’s eyes sparkle with joy as she gently strokes the panther’s head.
“Narcizo?” How very rare and very Raiza.
My cousin nods, her smile tinged with a hint of mischief.
I smile, then glance back at my laptop screen, where the astronomy lecture is still ongoing, before turning my attention back to my cousins.
“So, you finally got your brother to get you that panther you always wanted, huh?” I tease and laugh. “What did you do this time? Threaten to become a cop?”
Raiza’s eyes grow big. “Oh, that’s a good one! Papa will surely love that!”
No, he won’t.
I look at Willow, and she’s clearly thinking the same as me.
“No, but for real,” Raiza continues, petting the panther’s head lovingly and smiling wide. “I told you Aza would. My big brother loveeeeees me,” she sings.
“And?” I prompt, sensing there’s more to the story. Aza wouldn’t give his beloved sister a wild animal without a compelling reason.
“Okay…” she rolls her eyes again. “I gave him a compelling argument.”
“Which was?” This time Willow asks, using sign language.
Raiza kisses Narcizo’s snout and whispers, “I told him that if I had a panther, I’d feed it all the people who dare hurt me, especially the boys.”