Page 60 of Sweet Madness
“I’m no good for you.”
“Who says?”
“I do.” With that painful revelation, he stands up and leaves me with a bruised heart, a messy mind, and countless stars shining bright above me. But even then, I can’t help but think that this is exactly where I am meant to be—here with Shaw.
I know he feels it too, but he won’t allow himself to go there with me.
I should respect his wishes and let him be. Forget the feeling in my chest and move on, but I guess I’m not that person.
Because after being here and experiencing my own little world with my favorite constellation, there’s no way I could ever go back to a world where Shaw Banning isn’t the brightest star in my sky.
Space Note
“The night I first met you. The sky was filled with twinkling stars. I took that as a sign.” - E
Chapter
Sixteen
THE REAL ELLA
Ella
“I need a love that will keep me sane.” — S
Iam just begging for heartbreak; I know this, yet with every moment spent with Shaw, I can’t find one molecule inside me that cares.
Some people are worth the pain.
Shaw is worth everything.
He’ll always be.
It’s the next day after he almost kissed me, and I haven’t seen him since. I wake up early and search for him but can’t find him. I even check the stables, but he isn’t there, and neither is Peppermint.
I give up after a while of not spotting him anywhere. The painful look on his face flashes through my mind all morning as I think about how he must feel right now.
Is he ashamed?
Does he regret it?
All of this I wonder with a heavy heart.
I know we’re crossing many lines, and he has more to lose than I do. I am well aware of this, but there’s so much to gain too. If he didn’t feel the same, I would step back and let him be, but I know he feels it. He feels me.
But right now, he needs space, and I intend to give him all he needs, even if it pains me to be away from him for even a second. A second away from him is too long, but I’ll give him that if it’s what he needs.
Today doesn’t feel like pink… it’s missing something.
With a deep sigh, I walk over to the full-length mirror. Sunlight filters gently through the sheer curtains, casting a soft glow around the room.
Standing before the mirror, I trace the outline of the delicate gold bracelet around my wrist that my mom got me. Its subtle shine complements the warmth of my skin, which is tanner from all the sun I’ve been getting here at the ranch.
Today, I chose to wear denim mom jeans and a pink tube top.
Simple yet stylish.
I don’t normally wear these types of outfits back home. I haven’t worn pink in years, but here I do. Here, I get to be me without the fear of being ostracized for my choices that don’t align with the world’s expectations of me—or my family.