Page 66 of Cocky Tech God

My heart was wild in my chest.

Calista’s sapphire eyes caught and held mine. “Full disclosure, I know about you and Hansen.”

“Oh. Right.” The words were breathy between my lips. She had seen us kiss, after all.

She waved her hand. “It’s fine, really. I actually am quite impressed that he was inspired to…focus on one woman. I mean, you know he was not good at that.”

“Right…”

“Don’t worry. I am an expert at compartmentalizing business and personal.”

“Okay.” I wasn’t sure if I should have been relieved or worried, but to be honest, it was nice to not have to pretend at the conference. “I appreciate that, Ms. Everette—”

“Calista. I think you can call me that now that I know your secret.” She laughed.

“Calista.” I smiled. She wasn’t wrong. Hansen was my secret.

“Well, I hope Hansen is okay. I ran into him this morning before the presentations. He didn’t give me many details.”

My heart beat like a wild drum. “You saw him?”

“Yes, he said he was going back to New York on an earlier flight.” Confusion colored her cheeks. “Did you not know?”

“I didn’t know.” The words came out slowly, drawing out each syllable. So that was it. He was gone. Was a second chance for us gone too? A lump formed in my throat.

“But he did say he was taking a detour first.” She shrugged.

Fast, and without thinking, I pivoted on my heels and ran toward the elevators. “Thank you, Calista. Sorry, I have to go.”

There was only one detour Hansen would take. He’d taken me there, and I would find a way to get there. Get to him.

Hansen

I waded in the water, fully dressed. Screw my Prada shoes and summer Armani blazer. With each step, the dolphins greeted me with squeals and jumps in and out of the water. Peace came over me to be close to the beautiful silver mammals swimming with power and precision. Their sprays were like kisses on my face, and they soothed my ragged, raw insides.

Some people might think I was an idiot to retract my proposal to Morgan Financial Holdings. Out of the four competitors, I was the most known and revered, but my product wasn’t the best. Lucia’s was, despite her breach. I knew that. Everyone else needed to know that too.

I cared about Lucia, and I’d step back so that she could have what she needed. She needed Morgan Financial Holdings, and she deserved them. I gave up my spot for her because I cared about her success, and because I would survive without them.

If only she understood that I’d do anything for her. I wished she’d believe it was true. She didn’t believe me when we spoke on the phone. She couldn’t believe I’d be okay with her inability to have children. After a night of pouring over what she said, I supposed I didn’t blame her for walking out on me and our relationship. Infertility was her wound that festered even after she was rejected by her ex-fiancé. I’d never know what that felt like. The wall she’d erected around her was probably as high as the one I’d erected around myself after losing Anais.

But I did love again. And I still loved Lucia. And I couldn’t imagine not wanting love anymore. What I felt with Lucia, the closeness, the comfort, the companionship, gave me life. It gave me something to look forward to, and I wanted to have that for myself again. Not live the bleakness of bachelorhood with no one to call my own.

The sun intensified overhead, making me squint to see the dolphins still playing near me. I was alone again near Dolphin Cove. The guide had led a group out earlier. I was grateful to find a place in the water where I could be alone and think and talk to the dolphins because, in that moment, they were my only solace.

I touched the bottom of the sea, the tips of my shoes on rocks and vegetation. Through the aqua blue water, I could see the fish swimming around me, comforting me in some weird way. I’d never seen so many circling me before. I remained still, wondering how I would proceed once I returned home. A long list of women waited for me to text or call, and I had no interest for casual dalliances. I wanted the real thing.

My flight was later that morning, but I thought against it. I could island hop for one more day, seeing old places I used to visit years ago. I just didn’t want to go back to the conference and face what my life would be like back in New York. I wanted to stay with the dolphins for a little longer and think about how my life had come full circle, back to the hopeful man I was when I’d first visited Grand Cayman island. I wanted to be that innocent, young man again.

As if I intended to cleanse myself, to be new again, I plunged myself under the water, shutting my eyes and mouth. The salt water was like silk against my skin, caressing me like a mother would her child. The fish nipped at me with their sucking mouths, but then, all at once, they fluttered away. I shot up, breaking through the surface in a mass of crests surrounding me. And there was the reason the fish had sped away.

Lucia.

She moved through the water, producing ripples in her wake. She was fully clothed too. I scrubbed my eyes. If this was a figment of my imagination, I was more far gone than I’d thought. But she felt so real standing in front of me.

“You were going to leave without saying goodbye?” Her voice was labored as if she forced the words from her mouth. “You can’t leave without saying goodbye. We’re still friends, right?”

My heart pounded and all the emotions a person could feel hit me hard. Anger. Sadness. Excitement. All of them. “You’re not my friend, Lucia.”