Page 54 of Hallowed Games
“Most of Sumaire functions only at night,” he added. “In the day, everything shuts down, except for the mortals.”
“Why only at night?”
“We’re creatures of shadow, love.” His expression shuttered, eyes darkening for a moment.
Love. I certainly never expected endearments from the Raven Lord.
Despite everything he’d just revealed about himself, I sensed he was holding back. There was something important he wasn’t telling me. Of course—in Merthyn, trusting someone meant death. And if I were Maelor, I wouldn’t trust me, either.
But I wondered what he was hiding, and I had a million questions. “I don’t really understand. Are you Serpent-touched like I am?”
“No.” His eyes gleamed in the torchlight, and he took a long breath. “I don’t have a soul anymore at all.”
I could hardly breathe. “So that’s why my magic doesn’t affect you.”
“I died, then came back. But changed. I was bleeding out on the battlefield during the Anarchy when someone turned me—a powerful vampire known as the Mormaer. He brought me back to life, and now, every day, my task is to make sure that I stay in control. I don’t drink human blood, only animals’. I stay away from temptations like you as much as I can because lust makes me bloodthirsty, and sex makes me lose my mind…and around you, maybe I can feel myself slipping a little. I haven’t drunk human blood in years, but…” He trailed off. “Anyway, I’m not going to let my control snap.”
I lifted my hand to his face. His skin felt cool to the touch, but it was hard to believe someone so beautiful had once been dead. I associated death with rot and decay, and the man before me was breathtaking. But there was something about the way shadows seemed to stain the air around him, absorbing the light…
When I lowered my hand to his chest, he inhaled sharply. Dizziness whirled in my thoughts when I felt nothing beneath his muscles. No heartbeat. Part of my mind was screaming at me that this couldn’t be real. But the other part knew there was much more in this world than I understood. After all, I didn’t even understand my own magic.
And was a vampire really more frightening than someone who killed with a brush of her fingertips? Who was I to call someone a monster?
He pulled my hand from his skin, and his expression looked pained. “When I feel pleasure…it can make it hard for me to control myself. I no longer remember what I’m supposed to be doing or who I am. My thoughts go dark, and I just want to lose myself in the pleasure, to drown in it. It’s part of why I stay with the Order. Women are forbidden to Ravens, and the discipline keeps me focused.”
“But that’s not why Sion is with the Order, is it?” I swallowed hard. “Does he still drink human blood?”
“Yes.” He arched an eyebrow. “He takes what he wants, and he always has. The corpses around the kingdom are probably his doing, but he wouldn’t tell me.”
So what was Sion’s weakness? Because when it came down to it, I always needed to know the best way to end someone’s life.
I bit my lip. “And there’s no way to kill him?”
A smile flitted over Maelor’s lips. “Now why would you want to know that?”
“Because what if he comes after me?”
His jaw clenched. “If you tried to kill a vampire—even if you knew how, even with your training—you’d lose. It doesn’t matter that you’re an assassin. You’re trained to kill mortals, and we’re not like you. Our strength is forged from hell itself. From darkness. You’re better off not even thinking about killing us, Elowen. You’re better off trying to go unnoticed and letting me help you survive the trials. I want to get you back to Leo.”
He didn’t want me to know how to kill Sion. Or was it that he didn’t want me to know how to kill him?
He shifted closer to me on the bed, pinning me with his gaze. “You must never tell a single soul about me or Sion. Especially Sion. Do you understand? He’s unyieldingly committed to his cause, and he’ll kill anyone who gets in his way.”
“I won’t tell a soul.” Unless, of course, Leo’s life depended on it. Then all bets were off.
Maybe Maelor and I had an uneasy alliance, but it only went so far.
He stood. “I have to go. But I’ll see you in two days for the Unburdening in the whispering chambers.”
As he crossed to the door, something sharp tugged at my chest, that thorny loneliness growing roots in me. “How are you so sure that you don’t have a soul?” I asked. How do I know if I’ve lost mine?
He turned back to me, eyebrows rising. “When I used to write my poems, I’d see colors in my mind from the sounds of the words. The letter I was red as blood, and U the color of pastures, of emerald grass or the raging sea. O was the blinding blue-violet of the heavens, of the Archon, E like the silver-white of the moon. When I wrote, the world came alive. I could see Pearl’s bright blue eyes and imagine lying in the grass with her under the summer sky. But after I became a vampire, it stopped. It’s just blank, silent, like my heart has been ripped out of me. I still feel things just as intensely as before. Maybe more so. But I can’t create anymore. At least, I don’t feel anything when I do. It’s all ashes. So I just burn it.”
I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
His brow furrowed. “I’ve never told anyone that before.”
“Why did you tell me?”